Dear Makihen~
The first thing is you have my great respect for writing about a topic the must be most difficult for you to voice.
The second thing is that your post is a most encouraging one (I'll get on to your partner in a minute.)
If you look at what you have done, you have decided that your life was being spoiled, decided to take action, and sought professional help. As with anything that can be an addiction this is essential. So you are a person that deserves respect.
When one feels one has done something wrong there can be a great need to tell those it affects -to "come clean", and you have done this, though perhaps not at the optimum time, mind you I don't know the circumstances.
This has left your partner with the ground shifted under her, she is realizing you are not quite the person she had always assumed, and probably feels betrayal, anger and a lack of self worth too -I'm guessing of course.
There is a lot you can do, and I'm sure you can phrase things in such a way as to not be caught up in any censorship issues. Many can feel paralyzed by guilt, this is not productive. You are the same person you have been all along, though perhaps with a bit more resolve than before.
Your feelings for your partner may never have changed from the days when you decided to get together, if that is the case tell her it is still you, and you still feel the same. You can, with justification, talk in terms of addiction, and the strides you are making - for both your sakes -to overcome it. A cold logical approach or protestations you are sorry are not going to be enough.
Showing you empathize, you care, you love and gentle words, even including references to happy times, all can help.
If you can find someone your partner is close to, a family member or friend, they might be prepared to give her support without becoming overly specific, though it would mean briefing them first, a procedure you might not feel up to doing.
You can talk here anytime, as you are seeing it is a non-judgmental and caring place
Croix
