PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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Sophie_M If you need to talk about Bondi Beach - Our community is here
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Aus... View more

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Australia and we extend our heartfelt condolences to the individuals and families affected by this tragedy. We wanted to create a space where you can share whatever you’re feeling - whether that’s fear, shock, grief, or anything else that has come up for you. If you need support from others in the community, please feel welcome to post here. Violence and acts of terror can bring feelings of shock, grief, profound sadness, anger and fear. It’s normal to experience these emotions while trying to make sense of distressing events. It may take time for these feelings to ease, but it’s never too early to seek support if you are feeling distressed. Beyond Blue is here for you anytime, by phone on 1300 224 636 or via webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor You can also support those around you by being available to them and listening. Thank you for being such an important part of this community, and for the kindness, honesty, and wisdom you continue to share with each other. We remind the community that Beyond Blue is here for all people in Australia, no matter what you believe, how you live or who you worship. Kind regards Sophie M

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Bunjil Remembering abuse from 30 yrs ago
  • replies: 5

I have recently gone( am going through) an emotional time ..marriage break down . I sort the help from a psychologist and I have talked about a lot of things. Then it came back to me I remembered what happened to me over 30 years ago. I was with a ma... View more

I have recently gone( am going through) an emotional time ..marriage break down . I sort the help from a psychologist and I have talked about a lot of things. Then it came back to me I remembered what happened to me over 30 years ago. I was with a man and I asked him to stop but he didn't and I did nothing to stop him. This hit me hard and I had an emotional break down with my psychologist she helped me calm down and try to understand what happened. I thought I had worked through it but I was at a training session for work and I had a flashback that I needed to go to bathroom to give myself space to calm down. Now I'm scared I might be triggered again and not be able to deal with it. Why after so much time ....

SMS76 PTSD after physical abuse
  • replies: 1

Hi, Im new here. Struggling so much today. Im a registered nurse, working in palliative care. 3 months ago my fiance physically assaulted me. A week later I saw my GP and went to the police to make a statement. Life ever since has been surreal, court... View more

Hi, Im new here. Struggling so much today. Im a registered nurse, working in palliative care. 3 months ago my fiance physically assaulted me. A week later I saw my GP and went to the police to make a statement. Life ever since has been surreal, court, protection orders, safety plans, MRIs and CT scans, all on top of shift work and raising my son. I saw GP and psychologist last week and am now taking time off. I feel as if I may never recover, that this incident will define my life. This week has been the hardest of my life. Ive felt that I was strong and resilient until now. Have been told my mental health might get worse before it gets better. That thought is terrifying. Starting antidepressants tomorrow.

Shortness87 What does 'ok' even mean??
  • replies: 4

I get asked every now and then 'are you ok?' I'm at the point where I have forgotten what ok even means. I feel isolated and alone. No one around me understands. I wear a mask 24/7 As s**t hits the fan when I let my emotions show. I am exhausted and ... View more

I get asked every now and then 'are you ok?' I'm at the point where I have forgotten what ok even means. I feel isolated and alone. No one around me understands. I wear a mask 24/7 As s**t hits the fan when I let my emotions show. I am exhausted and need my mind to just stop. I need work to just stop. I need everything to stop so I can catch my breath.

cptsdisnojoke Work breakdown
  • replies: 1

I don’t even know where to begin. I have cptsd and have what my doctor and therapist described as “adrenaline exhaustion” from living in fight or flight for so long. Some days are better than others, that’s the one certainty I am aware of. I have bee... View more

I don’t even know where to begin. I have cptsd and have what my doctor and therapist described as “adrenaline exhaustion” from living in fight or flight for so long. Some days are better than others, that’s the one certainty I am aware of. I have been going really well for sometime now and this morning, it all began, out of nowhere it started and I couldn’t function. I tried to pull myself together and I had to go into work. I had a breakdown within two minutes of being there and it is a fairly new job (4 weeks). I am so embarrassed that my coworkers and boss saw this and it is making my anxiety creep back in. I feel so ashamed that I allowed someone to cause this in me many years ago and I’m so frustrated that I will never be me again. I see an amazing therapist who has taken me from scared to leave my house to now working, but I am beyond scared of one step forward and two back, my self confidence is at an all time low and I am so scared of going back to who I became. I am wondering, how do you cope with the embarrassing work breakdown? And also, how do you cope when the fear of going backward kicks in? Thank you you in advance for the advice, I didn’t know where to turn right at this very moment, I have therapy tomorrow so that’s a positive.

Amy_J New - Here to meet new people
  • replies: 15

Hi all, I am not quite sure what I am looking to find on here, but thought it might be nice to get to talk to other people in similar situations. I am a 28yo female. I have been suffering from mental health issues for a very long time now, having tim... View more

Hi all, I am not quite sure what I am looking to find on here, but thought it might be nice to get to talk to other people in similar situations. I am a 28yo female. I have been suffering from mental health issues for a very long time now, having times where everything seems fine, then having very low episodes that just seem to come out of no where. My mother died of cancer when I was 12. I watched her deteriorate over a period of twelve months, and sat with her and watched her take her last breath. This is what led to my PTSD. I have struggled with PTSD, anxiety and depression from that point in my life. At 18yo, my boss at the time, attempted to rape me. I fortunately got away from the situation before it progressed too far. Later on in that year, I came out to my friends and family as a lesbian. I lost around 90% of my friends because of this, and family took quite a while to come around and accept me as who I am. My family are great with it now, and I have made some new friends who accept me. I have recently been diagnosed with polycystic ovaries and endometriosis and have been dealing with immense pains that have been affecting my day to day life. I have a lovely girlfriend who I know loves me, but I keep shutting her out because I don’t know if I can truly open up to her. She doesn’t seem to ever be affected by emotions, and doesn’t have much empathy for things she hasn’t experienced, so it’s hard to explain things to her. I am currently in a really low state of mind, and I just can’t figure it all out. My girlfriend keeps just saying that it must all be because my hormones are playing up. But honestly, I just feel really depressed and alone. A

TheOwl Advice, thoughts, opinions?
  • replies: 2

Hi all, this is the first thread. Ideas, any feedback would be appreciated. Background. I was diagnosed with C-PTSD about 3 months ago and in a marriage for 10 years or so. The marriage has ended. Not just due my PTSD but also other issues like my pa... View more

Hi all, this is the first thread. Ideas, any feedback would be appreciated. Background. I was diagnosed with C-PTSD about 3 months ago and in a marriage for 10 years or so. The marriage has ended. Not just due my PTSD but also other issues like my partners alcohol dependancy and treatment. On top of this we were seeing a family therapist. That fell through due to an infidelity disclosure on my wife's behalf. I see a therapist who's helping me understanding triggers and it's going really well. I'm engaged and am finding new insights about my trauma every week. My issue is around how I manage the separation. I'm interested in whether others have experienced similar? I've been living at AirBNBs and couch surfing for two months. I have a great network of friends and a closer circle who provide perspective. I'm managing it well. They have asked me to get more advice about my current situation. My partner was having an affair online with an old flame (facebook) which had been going on for a while. My instincts were to log onto her account (old password) This was a only a one time incident. It was unusual for her to be unsupportive, and use language that was so out of character, especially in a sudden way. She started labelling me as a 'Woman hater' and 'Abuser' whilst opening up around my therapy. Which seemed deeply out of character for anyone. Since then, she has blocked all contact apart from one email address. I've been told repeatedly that my 'Abuse' is unsafe. It's made it really difficult to arrange a time to get things like personal documents like passports, birth certs out of the house. I understand her worry, but not her motives. I've asked if she could hand them over to joint friend etc, she won't. Currently, she has all my essential documents. I can't get her to agree to a time to discuss it with me, whether it's with mediator or other. There are constant labelings of 'Abuser' 'Unsafe'. But no history of violence, no harassment at all. It has also come to light this week that the family therapist had contacted my trauma therapist to support the end of our relationship and the effects of my PTSD. My wife has met with our family therapist without me and stated that I was 'Disassociated' at the time of separation. This personal, clinical appraisal was then fed back into a session in my trauma work. Is this a breach of client confidentiality? And if so, how would you manage the situation? How would you progress re personal belongings? A

Samm10 Abusive, ignorant and cheating husband
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone writing here for the first time really scared. So here it is. I have been married for 3 years and have a beautiful daughter and now i am expecting my second child with my husband. My daughter was born after a year we got married so things... View more

Hi everyone writing here for the first time really scared. So here it is. I have been married for 3 years and have a beautiful daughter and now i am expecting my second child with my husband. My daughter was born after a year we got married so things moved to another level very quickly. Just after she was born we started having these fights over small issues and at that time when I needed him the most he turned his back on me and then I found him cheating on me with two different persons. We moved from an other country so it was difficult living separately after a daughter but that whole 16 months time we were fighting. When I moved over here and found him cheating on me I asked him and he apologised and for the sake of my daughter I forgive him. But things got worse when he started abusing me and physically harming me. He did that twice and the third time he was shouting and throwing things his parents were here and i was expecting so i got scared and worried for my daughter so i called the cops. They threatened him and after that we had no connection. Whenever i try to talk and express something he ignores it or turn that to some issue. Whenever i try to convey my feelings he thinks its stupid and immature so i get no reply. I am trying my best for the sake of my daughter and my unborn but I don’t know where will it lead to. I see him on his phone all the time, working, or going to gym or to his friends but for me the things are zero. I am crying for a long time now and i want to find a solution to this so that this suffering would end. I am extremely depressed and down. This is my fourth month. We got married as we loved each other but now its all gone. The love and the respect. Please help me!

kb1nonly I Feel Like I Am Cursed
  • replies: 2

Hi Everyone, I just turned 30, I have 4 kids (3 boys with Autism and 1 girl), I'm a single mum and I work FT in Insurance. The events over the last 6 months have left me questioning if i believe in curses. Back in December a guy I seen casually left ... View more

Hi Everyone, I just turned 30, I have 4 kids (3 boys with Autism and 1 girl), I'm a single mum and I work FT in Insurance. The events over the last 6 months have left me questioning if i believe in curses. Back in December a guy I seen casually left me physically injured after an assault when he went too far and got way too rough. I had known him for over 10 years and years ago I thought I loved him, but history aside its no excuse so injured and traumatised I went to the police and hospital and ended up with an AVO and he got a good behaviour bond. First i couldnt get out of bed for 2 weeks a mix of physical pain and panic attacks, i returned to work after christmas with only some pain that i just used panadol, neurophen and heat packs for. Then my wrist started aching really bad for days and days at a time. All while my back and shoulder had been aching ever since the start. So I started chiro, it was pricey but gave some relief. Then my jaw started, it ached on both sides, doctors gave me antibiotics. One amazing doctor prescribed medication which solved shoulder, back and wrist pain. Then in April Trigeminal Neuralgia struck, if you google that itll tell you its one of the most painful conditions known to man. Trust me ive had 4 kids and id rather do that over again than live every day this way. Trigeminal Neuralgia can be bought on by trauma. So Ive had more than a month all up off work since March and its not looking good but I have amazing bosses and I feel looked after. Its now May and going to be my 30th Birthday, because of my pain I keep trying to cancel plans with this guy I had been on a bunch of dates with but hes so persistant plus he has a strong pain killer from his knee surgery that might help, plus it wasnt meant to be the whole night just watching a movie or two and eating junk food. He picks me up and we head to his place and while driving he hands me the painkillers. We get there and he made me a hot drink and I had tim tams. Thats all I remember until he woke me up the next morning and he drove me home. I had a couple of explicit flashbacks and I realised I couldnt remember, days later he was arrested and they found photos and videos of things he did to me. The police were amazing and its still ongoing but hes not free. I feel lost, alone and confused, these dont feel like my memories, like its someone elses story. When will I get my happy life??

sadmum85 Killing me slowly
  • replies: 6

Hi. I'm new here, so first thanks for all the posts on here, I have read quite a few and it is nice to not feel so alone. I'm posting because I really don't know what to do anymore. I can barely even recognize myself to be honest, I am definitely not... View more

Hi. I'm new here, so first thanks for all the posts on here, I have read quite a few and it is nice to not feel so alone. I'm posting because I really don't know what to do anymore. I can barely even recognize myself to be honest, I am definitely not the woman I used to be. My marriage is not very healthy. We have separated in the past and I just feel so stupid and weak now for getting back together with this man. When we first separated he attended counselling for his anger issues and also went to aa for 12 months. I was happy for him that he was changing himself for the better and was proud of him. I thought that he had proven he did want to change and stop his abusive behaviours and I thought I owed it to our family to give us a chance at being happy and together. That was a mistake. Over the last few months the verbal abuse has escalated, there have been incidents of physical abuse as well. I just feel completely broken, dead inside. Like I have nothing left to give. He thinks I'm being dramatic when I call his behaviour abusive. I honestly just feel like giving up I'm exhausted.

Lifehitsyou Totally lost
  • replies: 4

Where to start?, growing up I was abused a lot by my father, seems the only time he even looked at me was to beat me for something, even if it wasn’t my fault. I could never do anything right, even though I am the only member of my family who went ri... View more

Where to start?, growing up I was abused a lot by my father, seems the only time he even looked at me was to beat me for something, even if it wasn’t my fault. I could never do anything right, even though I am the only member of my family who went right through school, I did not get in trouble, nor did I turn to drugs or alcohol. I did however end up with a problem with my temper, even as a young boy it seemed I got angry about things far too easy, I was also bullied a lot at school, right from primary all the way until I left school. I met a girl when I was 17 and got married at 19, with my first daughter being born just after I turned 20, we had 4 children in 8 years, yet I still had a problem with my anger, I scared my children and also my wife. then my 2 sons were diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy and given pretty much a death sentence. after 17 years of marriage my wife left me because I still had a problem with my anger, where the smallest things would set me off. Yet I still tried to maintain a good relationship with my children, my ex wife had turned them against me. After 2 years fighting her in court to be able to spend time with our children, she finally relented just in time for me to see my eldest son before he died. then 2 years later my youngest son also passed away. now here I am at 50 all my dreams of being a great dad and maybe being a great grand dad are gone, as my daughters can’t have children. I am in dire need of help, I am destroying my current relationship because I still have problems with my anger, is there any way that I can learn some coping tools to try and stop being so angry all the time? please help.