Coping with bushfires

[Sophie_M]

Beyond Blue would like all individuals accessing our online forums in relation to Australia’s bushfire crisis to know that we are here for them.

If you’re feeling worried, we want you to know that it’s okay and you are not alone.

The impacts of this crisis will be ongoing and everyone will have different experiences, thoughts, feelings and emotions.

Even if you haven't been directly affected by these fires you may still feel sad, overwhelmed, stressed and upset.

We hope that you will use this safe, understanding space to talk, share and support one another on a united front.

It can be difficult to know what to say in times like these.

The forum community have been engaging in discussions that you may find helpful: Are you managing to be ok with all these dreadful bushfires?

You may wish to share what you are doing to help cope, or simply to share your experience with others.

Beyond Blue has developed a dedicated resource about bushfires and mental health, including practical advice about dealing with the emotional impact of bushfires, information about the signs and symptoms of emotional distress, tips for supporting children and young people, and links to several useful websites.

Taking care of yourself:

• Limit your exposure to social media – it’s okay to have a break and it’s important you make sure you’re not becoming overwhelmed.
• Speak with our friendly forum community about how you’re feeling
• Set realistic goals that keep you motivated, but don't take on too much (most people in this situation talk of recovery as a journey not a sprint)
• Give yourself time

Seeking help when you are in a bushfire affected area:

• Follow the advice of your local state fire services if you are in a bushfire affected area.
  State fire services:
  NSW RFS
  QLD RFS
  VIC
  SA
  TAS
  NT
  WA
  ACT

• If you require emergency support please contact 000

As a community, let’s help one another through sharing and connecting during this difficult time. This could be by listing links to articles or resources you have found helpful, tips for what is working to help you manage or sharing your thoughts, feelings or experience related to the bushfire crisis.  

Whatever it may be, we're here. 

[Nurse_Jenn]

Hi all,

This is such an important thread to start given the state of our beautiful country being in such a state of devastation. I think it is so important to allow people to vent anger, pain, frustration and sadness. Not everyone has been directly impacted by the fires but all of us have been indirectly impacted to some level. This is not only for our country but externally to the world. Australia's disaster state is placing introspection on the state of the world, the mass of population and how our climate is changing, which can make your head very heavy in thought and emotion. Be kind to yourselves and make sure you self care through this incredibly difficult time.

Me and my family were evacuated early in December from our home for a few days and the fire front came only 8km from our home. My partner stayed to defend which was incredibly stressful as communications were possibly going to be cut. We were lucky as if the weather was as predicted, we would have been overrun. Being displaced even for a short time is so emotionally disruptive. I can't imagine what it is like to not return to a house, to all your little bits and pieces or livelihood. My partner has just been sent down south for two weeks to help fight the fires. Like so many others here and everywhere, we are all impacted in different ways.

I have found that by taking a break from both the news and social media and the constant images has helped me. I have recently driven through the bushfire impacted areas near my home and seen new growth, green leaves and birds returning. This has given me a sense of hope. Today I put out four new water trays for birds or other animals on our property. This has also helped me feel like I have taken action, even though it is only small.

Moving forward through distastes is a unique experience for everyone. Some people will want to advocate for climate change and against the current government response, and some will want to donate money to the animals impacted, some people will want to help others and some people will want to hide away until the crisis settles. The range of emotions that are felt may change from moment to moment. It is a very emotional time.

There is no judgement in what feelings are brought to the surface in the aftermath of a bushfire.

I hope that people find this forum and this thread a safe place to talk, discuss and heal. I am so glad to be a part of this community.

Cheers,

Nurse Jenn

[Doolhof]

Hi Everyone,

The region I have lived in these last 7 years has come under attack 3 times from bushfires. One was only a kilometre from the town. Ash and embers were flying around and the sky was almost black. Day turned to night in one of the fires.

The current fires have not impacted me directly but have been very close to family members. The place where I grew up has all but been decimated. I here place names on the news that I recognise. I see photos of the devastation.

In all situations in life, hindsight is so beneficial but it doesn't achieve much unless people are willing to move forward, to try something new and different.

For me the impact of the fires is horrendous as there is so much of this country burning.

I have also seen the regrowth of the bush after a fire. Yes, these fires have been extremely severe in their intensity and coverage. I just hope and pray recovery is possible.

Maybe we need more good news stories about the fires and how people have helped each other.

Some people seem to relish the disasters and horrors of life. Look at the news in general and you would never think anything nice happens in this world of ours.

My heart goes out to everyone who is hurting in any way due to these fires.

I find when I don't feel like I am in control I become angry and confused. These fires are no different.

I have cried bucket loads of tears and not slept well feeling for this country of ours and all who are affected.

Regards from Dools

[Hanna3]

Querky I'm so sorry for what you're going through. These fires have devastated so many communities and places, some that I know and love. And they've hurt you. I wish I had something more to say, but all I can do for the moment is send you big hugs from me and Sam. You sound utterly devastated. Know that we are all thinking of you. Be gentle on yourself, this is a really, really tough time. Hugs my friend.

[quirkywords]

Pepppermint and Lady Nova,

ear is a powerful thing. I don't have a house or a shop so I feel lost. I know that fear can be debilitating but if you are going to live there you may hae to find a way to keep going.

These are hard times but connect to others and be honest.

I am trying to just cope with each day the furure is too far away.

Take care, write here and we can help each other.

Quirky

[Elizabeth CP]

Quirky, I just wanted to let you know I feel for you. I hope you are able to reach out to get the support you need at this time. When we lost everything in a bushfire when I was a child there was no emotional support or counselling so I had to learn to deal with the aftermath on my own.(I never spoke to my parents about it because it was too upsetting) The result is decades later I'm struggling with PTSD which is triggered badly by these recent fires. I share this to remind everyone how badly trauma & grief can affect our lives long term so it is essential that those affected reach out for the emotional support they need not just the physical support & than we all reach out to support those who are affected but allow them the opportunity to accept support when they need it on their terms. We are all different & the needs will change over time. For people like Quirky rebuilding her life takes time. There is no quick fix. Lets be there for each other long term not just during the crisis.

[Eucalyptuspunctata]

Hi. I live on the south coast and although not directly affected by the fires, there was a fire relatively close (about 9km away) and the repeated days of getting the house ready in case a fire did come. I live by myself and the bush is across the road. The anxiety on those days of when the sky turned black and red and orange with burning leaves falling and the smell of smoke was intense. Worrying that I hadn’t done enough to prepare and just overwhelmed by it all. At one stage both roads were blocked off and meant we were isolated. It was only for a short time but it was horrible. Plus there is the ever present smoke. Add to this, just prior to Christmas, I had to put down my oldest dog and another dog had an operation on her back legs. She has since developed an ulcer in one eye. My youngest dog has just had to spend the night at the vets as she was vomiting, lethargic with a sore tummy. I was concerned she might have had pancreatitis. I have an 86 year old mother with cognitive decline who I had come to me when the predicted fire spread covered her house. I am grieving the mother I am losing/ have lost. I haven’t slept well for weeks (since my oldest dog became very frail). I feel overwhelmed by everything at the moment and have moments of feeling little hope for the future. I know rationally that these moments will pass but in the moment, it is hard to remember that. I don’t feel very adult like at the moment and wonder where the person who generally copes with life has gone to. I read a lot to escape. Things I usually do to help me get through difficult times like going for a walk on the beach or a swim, I haven’t been doing because of the air quality. I don’t seem to have anyone to talk to.

[Lady_Nova]

I too am on the South Coast. The fires got to within 1.2km of my home where I care for 3 with disability and had a medically fragile evacuated friend staying on NE when the fire storm hit the fan.
I close my eyes and still see the red midday sun.
we are still coughing.
I am unsure when my normal will come back to me and I can have the relatively comfortable chaos I have always known. This grief and fear is too raw and the fact that it was oh so very real, not the maybe's of our usual anxiety riddled brains, that is hardest to process through.
Keep trying ... we'll get there
<3

[quirkywords]

Eucalyptus,

Thanks for making your first post and welcome to this supportive forum.

he fires are touching everyone in some way.

know that fear as the day before I left there was a false alarm. The waiting and not knowing is hard.

Mrs Dools, Elizabeth I am sorry for your experiences. I think talking about it helps but many people don't understand the finality of the loss, they say what did you find?

Lady Nova I am just hoping things get better and one day soon I will get more than 3 hrs sleep.

Quirky

[Birdy77]

Hello to everyone,

Dear Quirky, i just wanted to say how devastated i am for you. No words can come close to the sadness i feel for your loss.

I think we live in neighbouring towns and i know how terrifying it was over those days around the week of New Years.

Lady Nova's description, as well as Eucalyptus ... you have captured the way i feel. Thank you both for putting into words what i am struggling to express.

Elizabeth, you understand.

Nurse Jenn, i can only imagine how it would feel to be separated from your partner while he fights fires, after going through your evacuation in December.


I feel very drained. The constant vigilance. The feeling of deep sadness and loss of the community.

I walked through my village the last couple of days, the thing most people said first, upon meeting was " are you ok?" .. "are you guys alright?" .... the care and concern amongst everyone is palpable.

Thank you Sophie for creating this space for everyone- as a few menbers have said, we are all impacted, whether we live in an area that has been physically affected or not. Thank you Beyond Blue.

I think we will need this thread for a while to come.

[Doolhof]

Hi Quirky and Everyone,

One thing I have realised in life, is that sometimes people just don't know what to say and may say something that is really inappropriate for the person who is suffering.

Words and expressions can hurt like crazy, even if that has not been the intention.

Each person experiences life differently so we need to be aware of how others may be feeling.

It must be devastating Quirky when people ask what you have found in the ruins. Unless we have experienced such a tragedy, we have no understanding or comprehension.

We don't have to loose anything to feel devastated also. Just the experience of having a fire close at hand can be traumatising.

I too am thankful we have this space where we can share how we are feeling and what we are experiencing.

Kind thoughts to all who are struggling, from Dools