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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Guest_1573 My Darling Dog Will Be Euthenized Soon
  • replies: 141

I have a dear dog whom I rescued from a horrible place in May 2020. She is now 9 years old. She is the light and love of my life. Two weeks ago she seemed to be unbalanced and a long story short I have taken her to the vet 4 times since then. She has... View more

I have a dear dog whom I rescued from a horrible place in May 2020. She is now 9 years old. She is the light and love of my life. Two weeks ago she seemed to be unbalanced and a long story short I have taken her to the vet 4 times since then. She has had numerous tests and ultrasounds and the vet is not giving me any answers. In the last two days she has been lying in the bathroom which she never does. She has been having tremors and crying in her sleep. Although the vet doesn't know what is wrong they have put her on strong painkillers. When she has these she doesn't show pain but sleeps. She is not drinking water and is very out of sorts. I feel it is time to put her out of this misery. The vet wants to do an MRI at a cost of $5000.00. I have spent $1600 at the vet in the last 9 days. I am besides myself as I feel she has had a stroke or has a brain tumour yet the vet keeps stringing me along. At the end of the day I truly believe she is showing all the signs of a poor animal at the end of her life. I am so torn. I barely sleep, I put her on my bed at night and she is often panting, crying in her sleep or having tremors. I am so upset and anxious and I guess I just want someone to make that decision for me. Which I know is not going to happen. I rang my local vet and told them what has been going on (they were not aware as I had to take dear doggy to emergency vet throughout all of this). They were very kind and said to me that if I truly feel it is time to take here there anytime and they will look after her.... I am so scared that if I do this it might be too early? Yet deep down I know something very wrong is going on with her....I am falling apart. I love her so much. She had a terrible life until I rescued her. I hate life. It is so terrible and unfair. I have been crying almost constantly daily. Please someone help. Thankyou.

HamSolo01 How do i know if i have been trauamatised?
  • replies: 8

Some deep thinking and reflection on experiences in late teens has made me question myself. I am unsure if I have suffered emotional and psychical abuse. i don't feel comfortable saying much about it because I have touched on this topic in the past, ... View more

Some deep thinking and reflection on experiences in late teens has made me question myself. I am unsure if I have suffered emotional and psychical abuse. i don't feel comfortable saying much about it because I have touched on this topic in the past, but I am feeling like it would explain things a bit better for my life now. I feel quite concerned and worried. Overwhelmed and tired.

sunny6 I have a noisy neighbour who won't allow me to rest or sleep when I'm at home
  • replies: 7

I've been in my apartment for 3 years, and was so happy when I moved in. After a few weeks, I heard very loud shouting, swearing, & heavy objects being thrown around upstairs. Due to being positioned in a unit directly below, I heard every single thi... View more

I've been in my apartment for 3 years, and was so happy when I moved in. After a few weeks, I heard very loud shouting, swearing, & heavy objects being thrown around upstairs. Due to being positioned in a unit directly below, I heard every single thing. I called the police. Nothing was done. It happened again, and again. I spoke to my landlord, was told to let them know what's happening, after 12 times reporting to the landlord over 3 years, he is no longer shouting or throwing things, but he has changed tactics, and now he invites heaps of his friends over to drink heavily and party, most days and nights. Police are unwilling to pursue the matter. I'm stuck feeling disrespected and denied rest. When he parties there is the loud voices and laughter plus they drag furniture roughly across the floor. I have ear plugs in at night, and try to wind down with music etc but am feeling furious now, and don't know what to do. I am starting to pack my bags, but don't have another place to go to! I am getting tearful and anxious that I can't solve this problem. I am constantly thinking of solutions, and scenarios where I am imagining I will talk to him, reason with him, ask him to be quiet...I have had a friend go with me to talk to him face to face which helped him to quieten down a for a couple of months, but I am unable to keep on going this due to stress levels and extreme fatigue (exhaustion). It's preventing me from studying my course when at home. I go out walking, shopping and all the normal things as well as work, and I get home and feel so upset and hopeless when I can hear him being so noisy and disruptive. I'm 58 and am scared I will be homeless if I can't hold on to this tenancy....because I'm not on a high income, and have no family support to fall back on. I get scary thoughts when I'm alone at nights, that I will run away somewhere. I even think I need to prepare to live on the streets, which would be better than where I'm living now. I know I have no control over this situation, and everything I've done to help myself has failed. I've prayed for help too. I'm too old to keep fighting. But I can't surrender to his harassment and abuse either. It hurts.

Echtis I feel alien and alone
  • replies: 1

I don't know if I was like this before my trauma. I know I didn't have many friends, but I feel like I alienate everyone around me. I am just trying to be more honest about who I am. Usually the first couple of times I meet someone, everything goes w... View more

I don't know if I was like this before my trauma. I know I didn't have many friends, but I feel like I alienate everyone around me. I am just trying to be more honest about who I am. Usually the first couple of times I meet someone, everything goes well. Then, if I don't mess it up, I sabotage the relationship in textbook avoidant behaviour. I am terrified of women especially, the nicer they are to me, the more distrustful I am. I interpret compassion as predation. I was honest about this fear with a new friend. They... Criticised it. "Don't say it like that." They said, in a way as though I had said something deeply bigoted or offensive. I have little to no friends. My best friend moved out into the country to get married, and I haven't seen them since. They do not respond to my offers to visit them. Before that, they did not speak to me for months. I understand that honesty is not always the best approach especially when it comes to making and keeping friends. But I feel as though people are constantly criticising, judging, rejecting and abandoning me when I attempt genuine interactions. I feel like I'm not good enough for anyone. I've had a historically terrible relationship with my parents, which I won't get into. Despite our past, we are closer now, and they are the closest thing I have to friends despite how confused my emotions are for them. I honestly don't believe I am a terrible person. I believe I can be blunt, and edgy, but I don't think anything I'm doing is warranting the way I'm treated. My trauma tells me to run away and hide and that even if things go well they will fall to pieces and hurt me. I'm just rambling now. I'm hurting a lot.

D_J_ Absent Father
  • replies: 3

My mother and father split when I was 1 1/2 years of age. He has re appeared then disappeared 6 times throughout my life. I'm 45. He promises the world and apologies profusely every time. And every time I have forgiven him, except the last time. It's... View more

My mother and father split when I was 1 1/2 years of age. He has re appeared then disappeared 6 times throughout my life. I'm 45. He promises the world and apologies profusely every time. And every time I have forgiven him, except the last time. It's been 20 years since then. He keeps track of me through my step father which is fine. I don't approve but my step father has been there for me since I was 2. I know I should probably forgive him but the hatred runs deep. Will I regret it when he passes? At the moment, no. He is a narcissist, he is very good at being manipulative and plays on people's emotions to get his way. Given that I am mature enough to understand this, should I give him another chance?

Debbie Downer Mothers Day Guilt
  • replies: 2

Hello, I need some reassurance that I have done the right thing and am not being selfish. My mother has schizophrenia (unmedicated /untreated by choice). I'm almost certain she is a narcissist as well due to her inability to think about the people ar... View more

Hello, I need some reassurance that I have done the right thing and am not being selfish. My mother has schizophrenia (unmedicated /untreated by choice). I'm almost certain she is a narcissist as well due to her inability to think about the people around her. She was an drug addict for most of my childhood and got clean when I was 11 years old when my baby sister was born. I helped her get clean - babysitting for hours while she went to NA, we moved into a refuge together until a dept of housing place came up and I helped her raise my baby sister until I move out of home at 19. Our relationship deteriorated when I moved out and she only visited me when it was convenient or she needed something; which would usually result in her belittling me, putting me down about my achievements or pressuring me to be better. Fast forward to now, she hooked up with an abusive asshole who uses her financially, physically assaults her and is an addict as well. She has been smoking pot again and I feel it is only a matter of time before she's on the harder stuff again. I told her how I was feeling - heartbroken and extremely worried that she is throwing all her hard work away. I told her I love her but need to protect myself first and cannot be in her life until she gets rid of this guy because I have been having panic attacks and trauma flashbacks. She did not reply or acknowledge but told my sister I am selfish and that I need to let her live her life. So I decided to skip Mothers day this year which is eating me up with guilt. I know that if I saw her all bruised and unwell I'd go down my own mental health spiral. Im a mental health support worker and now I am feeling so so guilty, imagining what I'd do if she was my client, like I should have just toughened up and saw her. I know she's unwell and that she's in DV relationship which is hard to get out of. It's not her fault she is unwell and in this position but also she's not trying change, nor is she even speaking to me. Ugh. I'm so conflicted.

Kat040187 Loneliness
  • replies: 2

I am 35 and suffers from PTSD. I find it hard to make friends who are sincere. I have a child and am anxious i dont do enough

I am 35 and suffers from PTSD. I find it hard to make friends who are sincere. I have a child and am anxious i dont do enough

worldcitizen1919 I’m Happy but I want to be left alone.
  • replies: 7

I want advice on how to cut contact with family members (in name only) for their cruel treatment and I want nothing to do anymore with them and have told them not to visit or call. Yet they don’t respect my wish and keep contacting me. How do I get i... View more

I want advice on how to cut contact with family members (in name only) for their cruel treatment and I want nothing to do anymore with them and have told them not to visit or call. Yet they don’t respect my wish and keep contacting me. How do I get it through to them? I suffer from post traumatic stress and they are deliberately cruel to me emotionally so I want to distance myself and disassociate from them as it only makes my pst flare up. It’s not about forgiveness but justice. How to best get rid of these people with the least fuss? Thanks for any ideas in advance. I’m all for family unity if the intentions are sincere and both ways but in this case its one way traffic.

Lisa3030 Mothers Day and feeling no positive regard toward my Mother.
  • replies: 8

Hi, I'm new to this forum and really wanted to share some of my feelings on a difficult day for me as I'm struggling to feel love for my mother. I endured severe early childhood abuse from my Mother and I decided to disconnect our relationship 10 yea... View more

Hi, I'm new to this forum and really wanted to share some of my feelings on a difficult day for me as I'm struggling to feel love for my mother. I endured severe early childhood abuse from my Mother and I decided to disconnect our relationship 10 years ago in my mid 30's. I feel compassion toward myself but no positive regard for her and I feel guilty about this. Warm Regards Lisa3030

D_J_ PTSD Anxiety and Major Depressive Disorder.
  • replies: 2

In 2000, I was involved in a vehicle role over as the passenger. I had multiple skull fractures, bleeding on the brain quite badly and many broken bones. They told my family that I wasn't going to live. I did. After a long time in the hospital becaus... View more

In 2000, I was involved in a vehicle role over as the passenger. I had multiple skull fractures, bleeding on the brain quite badly and many broken bones. They told my family that I wasn't going to live. I did. After a long time in the hospital because they had to keep a close eye on the blood in my brain, I eventually recovered. 8 years later I was triggered by something and had a massive panic attack. Since then I've been on a roller-coaster of antidepressants, EMT and 4 long term hospital psych ward admissions. It feels like this cycle will be the rest of my life.

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