PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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Sophie_M If you need to talk about Bondi Beach - Our community is here
  • replies: 6

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Aus... View more

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Australia and we extend our heartfelt condolences to the individuals and families affected by this tragedy. We wanted to create a space where you can share whatever you’re feeling - whether that’s fear, shock, grief, or anything else that has come up for you. If you need support from others in the community, please feel welcome to post here. Violence and acts of terror can bring feelings of shock, grief, profound sadness, anger and fear. It’s normal to experience these emotions while trying to make sense of distressing events. It may take time for these feelings to ease, but it’s never too early to seek support if you are feeling distressed. Beyond Blue is here for you anytime, by phone on 1300 224 636 or via webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor You can also support those around you by being available to them and listening. Thank you for being such an important part of this community, and for the kindness, honesty, and wisdom you continue to share with each other. We remind the community that Beyond Blue is here for all people in Australia, no matter what you believe, how you live or who you worship. Kind regards Sophie M

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Sunnyflower12 I'm not coping with my medical trauma TW: Blood, Surgery
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone I recently had multiple surgeries for my throat and nose in December. They were pretty regular procedures and relatively low risk. But on NYE I suddenly got a big nosebleed for the first time in my life and had to be rushed to the Emergen... View more

Hi everyone I recently had multiple surgeries for my throat and nose in December. They were pretty regular procedures and relatively low risk. But on NYE I suddenly got a big nosebleed for the first time in my life and had to be rushed to the Emergency Department. The doctors gave me padding to stop the bleed and I was sent home by 11:30pm. I thought it was the end but it wasn't and I ended up having more bleeding episodes, in total 5 (2 minor and 3 major that required me to be hospitalised) in the past month. The most recent episode on the 20th led me to have a surgery to stop the bleeding. The doctors said that I should be ok now and that the worst is over...But I have been feeling anxious at the thought that I'm going to have another major bleeding episode. It's been 9 days since the surgery but I still can't shake off the anxiety or fear I keep feeling. I try not to think about it for too long but it gets extremely heightened when I'm by myself at home. I get worried about everything I do, thinking that any action would trigger a nosebleed. Even though the doctors say they think the bleed wasn't triggered by anything I did, I still can't bring myself to believe them. Can someone please tell me what I can do to cope with these feelings.

Midnight01 How to move forward
  • replies: 3

It has been 6 weeks since my baby passed, I been having a hard time trying to be proactive again. I still haven’t called a funeral home to discuss my daughter’s cremation because I’m still finding it hard to come to terms with the reality that she’s ... View more

It has been 6 weeks since my baby passed, I been having a hard time trying to be proactive again. I still haven’t called a funeral home to discuss my daughter’s cremation because I’m still finding it hard to come to terms with the reality that she’s gone. What can I do to help myself with this grieving process and to bounce back to myself again?

thorneinmyside Trauma and alcoholic impulses triggered by friend
  • replies: 3

Hello. I am a 25 year-old man who very recently stopped drinking alcohol. I was using it as a consequence of being raised by an alcoholic mother, and since confronting that trauma, I've realised that I need to quit. I've gone cold turkey after years ... View more

Hello. I am a 25 year-old man who very recently stopped drinking alcohol. I was using it as a consequence of being raised by an alcoholic mother, and since confronting that trauma, I've realised that I need to quit. I've gone cold turkey after years of depending on alcohol, every single day. I've got an upcoming appointment with my GP, but due to COVID, seeing her is tricky. I can't move the appointment any earlier. I feel very isolated, and the support service I've been referred onto hasn't called me back. I've called a few times to try and talk to someone, but they're always busy. I'm trying really hard not to drink again. It's only been 5 days, but every passing hour feels like hell. I want a drink so badly. One of my friends contacted me, asking if I knew someone who could supply him with drugs. He sent me an emotional message saying he "needed" a substance to get through his own mental health issues, and this made me very angry. He knows I'm newly sober, yet he's triggering me by talking about his own substance use. I told him that I can't help him right now, and don't want to hear about substance use to handle mental health problems, but I'm still angry. I feel like nobody's taking my struggle seriously. I'm feel that I'm all on my own. Now that I'm not drinking, my emotions are heightened, and I'm experiencing everything so intensely. I'm having dreams about my mother's alcohol use. I thought I was over my PTSD, but I'm obviously not. I'd just like to know I'm not alone, and whether you have any advice for a newly-sober man. I'd appreciate support.

Bubs1954 Parentification and enmeshment in families
  • replies: 3

Hi all, I’m new here and have been faced with the issue of parentification and enmeshment in my family. I wonder has anyone else gone through or know about this topic? An article was sent to me by my adult daughter who has withdrawn from the family. ... View more

Hi all, I’m new here and have been faced with the issue of parentification and enmeshment in my family. I wonder has anyone else gone through or know about this topic? An article was sent to me by my adult daughter who has withdrawn from the family. Unfortunately the article was like a mirror to me and A lot of it was true, both for me and my daughter. I have spoken to my GP to find some help to work through this, as I now see that I am broken too. My GP sent me here until I can get some one to one councilling and help. DOES ANYONE ELSE KNOW OF THIS TOPIC either as a survivor or lived experience or just knowing about this thanks Bubbs

_Once_Upon_A_Dime_ I Don't Even Know Who I Am Anymore
  • replies: 28

It's taking me alot to post on here but here we go... My names Nicholas, I'm 24yrs old and suffer from Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I am seeking advice as title states it all, My current situations pretty much like being stuck in a hole, only each and... View more

It's taking me alot to post on here but here we go... My names Nicholas, I'm 24yrs old and suffer from Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I am seeking advice as title states it all, My current situations pretty much like being stuck in a hole, only each and everyday that holes getting deeper and the chances of getting out get slimmer. I am here because I wanna overcome this obstical and face my demons, sadly I don't know how to do so.. Let's cut to the chance and what I'm about to tell you only a close friend who I don't speak to anymore & my father who I haven't heard from since Christmas 2016 know about this. When I was a child around 7-9yrs old (Rough Estimate) I was raped and molested by a neighbor in my street, I was staying over is place with my two older brothers camping out in his back yard, we where sleeping in two separate tents when the assualted had happened and some how managed to keep it a secret from my mum. I don't know how to escape this hole, It's getting deeper by the minute and the light at the end of It's slowly fading to darkness, I'm stuck helplessly at the bottom of this pit like it's me ment to be my grave, I scream for someone to help but no one hears me, slowly losing faith. Nicholas

BoroniaRiv777 Why do I need someone to be with me?
  • replies: 13

Hi all, I was looking to see if someone has some insights on my current situation and how it relates to past experiences. I'm looking to see if others have had similar experiences and can maybe point me in the right direction. I’m not looking for med... View more

Hi all, I was looking to see if someone has some insights on my current situation and how it relates to past experiences. I'm looking to see if others have had similar experiences and can maybe point me in the right direction. I’m not looking for medication as I have been down that road before. I know I have Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder because I experienced various types of trauma as a child. I had anxiety about going to school. Because of this anxiety, my parents decided to take me to school one day and talk with the principal. Long story short, I was abandoned and left in the hands of the principal who was verbally and physically abusive as he dragged me to the classroom. This was his attempt to stop me from being anxious. A few years later at a different school my Dad had to wait outside the classroom for me while I was inside being taught due to my anxiety. There was less anxiety knowing that Dad was outside. I was homeschooled after this and managed to work and study. I have seen countless mental health professionals and have been on various antidepressants due to several setbacks. Fast forward to the present day and it appears that I am facing the "needing someone with me due to overwhelming anxiety" situation again. In late 2019, I experienced my first major panic attack following a run. I took myself to hospital due to a continued fast heart rate post-run. I was later released from hospital with everything checking out as ok with diagnosis being a panic attack. Since then, life has been extremely difficult. Since the panic attack I have not been able to be by myself (except for the rare occasion where I challenged myself). The fear around my heart rate has limited by ability to have a verbal conversation with a mental health professional. Basically, any type of stress triggers panic which triggers the heart rate fear. I believe the fear is a cover for what happened to me as a child. I am still working with a psychologist via email. What I really want to ask is what is the reason for me needing someone to be with me at the moment? Why did I need my Dad to stay outside the classroom that day? What am I afraid of? What I know for sure is that anxiety feelings scare me greatly. Why do I struggle to be ok with intense anxiety feelings? The overriding message when I am in an anxiety provoking situation is that I am going die. I feel like the panic attack has exposed the child traumas hence why I need someone with me. Thank you all.

Sam_mixed_up PTSD
  • replies: 3

I have recently been diagnosed with PTSD and it's cruel, my husband of 27 years is a major trigger but he has done nothing wrong, he just doesn't listen he says he does but he isn't hearing what I'm saying, I have moved out of the family home and am ... View more

I have recently been diagnosed with PTSD and it's cruel, my husband of 27 years is a major trigger but he has done nothing wrong, he just doesn't listen he says he does but he isn't hearing what I'm saying, I have moved out of the family home and am in another state I did not spend Christmas with him and our adult son's as I can't control my emotions and get so angry and call them the most horrible names, yes I swear but these names would make the local drunk shudder, how do I stop doing this, I feel like I'm on a road of self destruction.

SilGa Severe trauma ruining my life and the only therapist I can afford said she’s not qualified to help me. i’m scared and losing hope
  • replies: 7

I’m 26 years old. Last year I recovered repressed memories of being raped as a child and it made so many things click into place for me. i have vaginismus, general fear of intimacy, severe social anxiety and depression. I neglected my health for year... View more

I’m 26 years old. Last year I recovered repressed memories of being raped as a child and it made so many things click into place for me. i have vaginismus, general fear of intimacy, severe social anxiety and depression. I neglected my health for years and didn’t take care of my body, I didn’t open up about the problems I was having in school and ended up dropping out. I’m certain I have an undiagnosed learning disability, I’m guessing ADHD but of course I don’t know for sure because I haven’t gotten a diagnosis. I have no job and still live with my parents, and no friends. I’m afraid of meeting new people because I’ll always be the ‘ugly friend’ and I just don’t have any social skills either. I got a referral for my local walk-in clinics therapist who only charged $50 per session. I had my first session with her by phone and I told her everything and she told me that she wasn’t qualified to help me with the trauma related to being molested. She didn’t even know what vaginismus is and I had to explain it to her. She emailed me the names of four places that actually specialise in that area and said that if I explain my situation then they might give me a reduced fee. So far I’ve only contacted one and haven’t received a response yet. Im running out of hope. I need therapy and medication, I need treatment for my vaginismus, but I don’t have a job. My Dad will be paying for everything but our family isn’t wealthy, $300 for each session on top of any medication I’ll be prescribed will be too much. I’m not suicidal right now but I know if I let this go on, I’m going to become suicidal in the future. I want a job, I want friends, I want to be able to have pelvic exams because I have never gotten one done before and I feel anxious not knowing if there might be something wrong. I’ve read that you can get a pelvic exam done with anaesthesia but I don’t know how to go about asking for that and I don’t have money to pay for anaesthesia. I don’t know what to do. I just want help, why isn’t this stuff affordable? What am I suppose to do if I can’t live my life? Because that’s the thing. I’m not living my life and also happen to have trauma and mental illness. I’m not living at all. I can barely function. I rely on my parents for everything but I don’t want to put that pressure on them, I want to take care of them as they get older, not have to be taken care of by them. I don’t know what to do… I’m losing hope of ever recovering & being able to live a normal life…

AdriftAnnie What is wrong with me?
  • replies: 4

A few years ago I reconciled with my husband after he physically and sexually assaulted me. We had been married over a decade and had children and he spent some time in custody and did his community service and swore to me this had changed him. And i... View more

A few years ago I reconciled with my husband after he physically and sexually assaulted me. We had been married over a decade and had children and he spent some time in custody and did his community service and swore to me this had changed him. And it has changed him. He hasn’t been abusive since that day, almost 4 years ago. Prior to the assault he had been for 3 years addicted to synthetic marijuana. I had no idea for the first year as he did nothing but lie to me. I discovered in the third year of his addiction that he was also on dating websites and this absolutely broke my heart. More than being brutalised by him. I can’t get over it. I can’t move on from it. I still get triggered. My question is, why can I forgive all the other things he’s done, but not this? What is wrong with me that I choose this to be upset about? It seems so trivial by comparison to all the horrible things he’s done over the course of the relationship. I feel defective. Discovering his dating profiles was like taking a bullet. The assault? I remember only fragments. I feel nothing when I think about it. No flashbacks, no triggers, nothing. That’s not normal is it? What is wrong with me?

zjr95 Childhood trauma
  • replies: 4

Hi all, Can someone make sense of my brain, I feel all over the place. I was rebellious once I hit my teen years I think as a result of my parents. My dad left when I was 8 years old and tried to make me choose between them when they split. I got int... View more

Hi all, Can someone make sense of my brain, I feel all over the place. I was rebellious once I hit my teen years I think as a result of my parents. My dad left when I was 8 years old and tried to make me choose between them when they split. I got into heaps of trouble, and my parents tried so hard to control me to the point where I was physically abused. My point is, I am 26 years old. I still have these traumatic memories. I don't know how to heal from them as I guess this is why I am the way I am today. I have terrible social anxiety to the point where I can't even speak to people. I find it so hard to trust people. My mind is so clouded and anxious that I can't even speak properly. I still have a close relationship with my parents but I wonder if this is a obstacle in my path to actually healing? It's hard because they are my parents and we are pretty close now, but it wasn't just discipline, it was child abuse. Would love to hear people's opinions. Thanks for reading.