PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 273

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Delectable Tired
  • replies: 314

I’m tired of a lot of things, of doing this thing called life alone. I chose not to have children after living a traumatic childhood till I was 13 and placed in stare care. I never experienced love from my family or my past boyfriends. I have spent m... View more

I’m tired of a lot of things, of doing this thing called life alone. I chose not to have children after living a traumatic childhood till I was 13 and placed in stare care. I never experienced love from my family or my past boyfriends. I have spent my entire life feeling never good enough for people, in the last fifteen years after I left a relationship I have felt more distant then ever. I worked as much as possible so I was either tired and didn’t think about the loneliness. I lot a few contracts and started baking, giving the food away when I could afford to do so. I’ve rented for the last 15 years and have had to do one bad move which was very hard on me giving away a beautiful harden and accessories to people I thought were friends but users in the end as I only live 30kns away and they choose to have nothing to do with me. I only work one day now and am struggling with filling in time, I do exercise every day for an hour, but there’s still over 13 hours to fill in. As i live in Victoria near NSW I’m stuck because of the coronavirus in Melbourne and not allowed out of my state though my area hadn’t had any cases for 90 days. Tired of making friends to be let down by then, one life friend said speak to the psychologist, so I speak once every 6 weeks. I really don’t see much point continuing my life, there’s only so much one can take and I feel like ending my life especially iff I cannot go to Queensland in December for Christmas which I have not had Christmas for over 35 years with anyone. I do not take drugs or drink alcohol, just extremely overtired of my living.

Feya PTSD stops me from being able to eat - should I seek help?
  • replies: 3

I'll try and make this short and sweet. I've recently undergone 4 of therapy to deal with my CPTSD and anxiety disorder. I've made massive progress and feel so much better. However, I am still struggling when it comes to food. I rarely eat and when I... View more

I'll try and make this short and sweet. I've recently undergone 4 of therapy to deal with my CPTSD and anxiety disorder. I've made massive progress and feel so much better. However, I am still struggling when it comes to food. I rarely eat and when I do, it's small snacks or fruit. I never really feel hungry but when I am, I spend hours trying to build up the courage to go into the kitchen and cook myself something. I have had a lot of trauma related incidents in the past relating to food, including having to only drink tea 10 times a day because there was no food in the house. Even though I dont eat much, I've gained almost 30kgs over the 4 or so years I've stopped drugs. I'm worried about my health but I really struggle to get past this hurdle. I dont know if I should see someone about it or if its just a matter of forcing myself.... thanks for any advice or input.

Imarni I have no one
  • replies: 8

My kids hate me. I came from childhood trauma. I don’t think I should have had kids. I don’t show emotions well. I experienced multiple episodes of sexual abuse as a teen and my kids when they reached the age I was abused have triggered me repeatedly... View more

My kids hate me. I came from childhood trauma. I don’t think I should have had kids. I don’t show emotions well. I experienced multiple episodes of sexual abuse as a teen and my kids when they reached the age I was abused have triggered me repeatedly with flashbacks and nightmares. I’ve sought years of help, just stopped the suicide attempts. Now their young adults and ready to leave. I have cut off all contact with all others and when they go don’t see a point in any real existence. I have bipolar and ptsd and I live for my pets but one is old and I am tired. What the point. My kids call me fat and awful names and have told me they want me to commit suicide. I feel just sad and really what am I here for?

DivideByZero How will I know I've changed?
  • replies: 10

Hi everyone. So on the brink of divorce after 11 years of marriage, in literally the space of 30 seconds after reading one particular article, I came to realise, genuinely for the first time, that I've been abusive to my wife, the woman I love. It sh... View more

Hi everyone. So on the brink of divorce after 11 years of marriage, in literally the space of 30 seconds after reading one particular article, I came to realise, genuinely for the first time, that I've been abusive to my wife, the woman I love. It should have been bleeding obvious, but I couldn't see it, despite my wife trying to tell me for years. In a moment, the entire way I saw myself and my marriage fell apart. That was Monday. On Tuesday, I started realising that may not be all of it, and started digging further into my memories and my behaviours. On Wednesday, I came to realise it's been all through our marriage. I wanted her to conform to what I wanted her to be, and would try and steer her away from things she wanted if they didn't fit into my image of our life together. Today is Saturday, and I realised during our separation I've also been very jealous, thinking a lot about where my wife is and wondering who she's spending time with. My wife is safe now, but I'm really in peices, totally unsure of anything. That's a good thing, I need to be questioning everything about me if I'm ever going to change. I'm scared about one thing above everything else though: I successfully fooled myself completely for the last 11 years. In my mind, I was a patient, caring, devoted husband, who went to extraordinary lengths for my wife as she worked through the pain of her own childhood trauma, something we had in common. My wife was my first kiss, first everything. She was, to me, the centre of my life, yet I deluded myself the entire time. I lied to myself fundamentally about who I was, and the very core of my behaviour and attitudes towards the most important person in my life. Why couldn't I see it? How will I ever know if I've really changed, if I'm safe to be in a relationship again, if I can deceive myself so well? How will I know I'm not doing it again? Any and all thoughts are appreciated.

Mudcakes PTSD from DV and possibly from bullying
  • replies: 4

I have PTSD from dv and pretty much anything that reminds me of my father triggers me. I tried holding in a massive panic attack in a taxi as the taxi’s menu setting was the same as my Father’s car. I had to shut my eyes the whole hour. And then hour... View more

I have PTSD from dv and pretty much anything that reminds me of my father triggers me. I tried holding in a massive panic attack in a taxi as the taxi’s menu setting was the same as my Father’s car. I had to shut my eyes the whole hour. And then hour back. I could not breath for like hours after and been scared in a taxi since. I use uber but they are being weird. My mum can’t say certain words like nicknames for our dog as that triggers me also. Black bags. Tall men yelling. The bullying, well on my anxiety thread I go into detail. So I guess I just wanted to start a thread here for support when I have panic attacks etc. Mudcakes ‍🦺

Guest_3256 C-PTSD from abusive Ex - how to over-come negative self-talk/thoughts?
  • replies: 2

Hi All. It's been over 4 months since I got the courage to leave my ex partner who was quite emotionally abusive. It's been a extremely tough journey and the days are becoming much better. My biggest achievements so far are committing and learning to... View more

Hi All. It's been over 4 months since I got the courage to leave my ex partner who was quite emotionally abusive. It's been a extremely tough journey and the days are becoming much better. My biggest achievements so far are committing and learning to value myself. My main focus at the moment is to become happier every single day, understandably, some days are rough and I'm struggling with negative self-talk/thoughts. Wondering if anyone can share successful techniques used to over-come negative self-talk/thoughts.

Centaured New diagnosis- DID. kinda scared.
  • replies: 3

I just found out I got diagnosed with DID. I was admitted to the psych unit today and got told my last psychiatrist visit they had diagnosed me with it. Not even telling me. I thought I may have have some dissociative disorder but a diagnosis of this... View more

I just found out I got diagnosed with DID. I was admitted to the psych unit today and got told my last psychiatrist visit they had diagnosed me with it. Not even telling me. I thought I may have have some dissociative disorder but a diagnosis of this is scary. Why do you do. How do you get better. I've always just had a diagnosis of bpd and depression. We managed to keep our units (or that's what I call each of us) hidden mostly. But now we are out it hard. Will we be accepted. Will we be treatable. I'm already so hopeless and stuck. Where to from here? Does anyone have DID that wants to share any thoughts, about anything.

anonymous45844 parents
  • replies: 2

my parents keep yelling at me and bringing me down for no reason whatsoever and I'm so tired of it. I just want to run away from home.

my parents keep yelling at me and bringing me down for no reason whatsoever and I'm so tired of it. I just want to run away from home.

Rah33 Ptsd sexual abuse
  • replies: 4

I have reported a sexual abuse today and am feeling immense feelings of guilt. I seem to need reassurance from others that I have done the right thing. Why do I feel guilty for an action I didn’t make or ask for? The police said I did the right thing... View more

I have reported a sexual abuse today and am feeling immense feelings of guilt. I seem to need reassurance from others that I have done the right thing. Why do I feel guilty for an action I didn’t make or ask for? The police said I did the right thing to make a statement but I am now questioning myself because of guilt. Why do I not feel safe to speak up as a victim of sexual abuse

Mina19 Severe anxiety during this lockdown
  • replies: 5

Hi people, Since this new lockdown in Melbourne I noticed my anxiety became 100 times worse I already have severe anxiety and ptsd and although it technically finishes tonight the lockdown I’m still so stressed out. I also noticed when I heard about ... View more

Hi people, Since this new lockdown in Melbourne I noticed my anxiety became 100 times worse I already have severe anxiety and ptsd and although it technically finishes tonight the lockdown I’m still so stressed out. I also noticed when I heard about the lockdown more physical symptoms happened to me like loose stools randomly, nausea, headache and stuff. Just a horrible feeling and panicked each day oh and even worse the nightmares. Is this just me or has anyone else experienced this too. I just feel mentally alone even though I do live with supportive family.