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PTSD and trauma

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 273

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Left_Right PTSD with some mixed anxiety and depression
  • replies: 1

Today is the first day I laughed a real laugh , for a long time usually I am withdrawn and depressed today I watched a funny movie and really laughed and I just wanted to know if others with this disorder can still find humor and laugh at something .... View more

Today is the first day I laughed a real laugh , for a long time usually I am withdrawn and depressed today I watched a funny movie and really laughed and I just wanted to know if others with this disorder can still find humor and laugh at something . I shocked myself that I actually laughed

Dolly_daydreaming Neverendingtrauma
  • replies: 4

My whole life has been traumatic. It never ends. It started with sexual, emotional and physical abuse at an early age. I became involved in the sex industry at the age of 14 until aged 39. I was locked away in a children’s home as a child. I educated... View more

My whole life has been traumatic. It never ends. It started with sexual, emotional and physical abuse at an early age. I became involved in the sex industry at the age of 14 until aged 39. I was locked away in a children’s home as a child. I educated myself and put myself through university and have 3 professional qualifications. Some years ago I was assaulted by a police woman who threatened to ruin my life and did do so. My career was put on hold for 10 years. I re-engaged in the sex industry. Then I developed late onset schizophrenia. I’ve been well for 15 years and only had delusions. Recently my career was jeopardised because of the false charges the policewoman charged me with years ago. My career is under review. I had an accident at work and was off work for 10 months 3 years ago. I returned to work and had another accident and am awaiting surgery. Then early this year someone smashed into me and I had a head on collision and I’m badly injured and awaiting more surgery. My daughters partner went to attack me 4 years ago. I haven’t seen my grandchildren since they were babies or my daughter for 4 years. We recently connected on Messenger. We are waiting for an intervention order to end in May so we can be a family again. I have a gambling problem related to my trauma. My dog and I have been very sick and I recently discovered it was from a mould. We have both lost our hair and have skin infections. I can’t breathe properly. I’m waiting for weight loss surgery as I’ve put on a lot of weight. I don’t have a sex drive due to medication for my mental illness. I don’t go out. I occasionally talk to someone on the phone. I’m TOTALLY socially isolated with no family or friends to see. I connect occasionally with a few friends over the phone. I haven’t been in a relationship for 10 years. I’ve been a Victim of Crime from my neighbour who has stalked me and threatened me as she is an ice addict. I’ve lost interest in life. I’m on painkillers all day. I can’t read or concentrate to watch TV as I’m so traumatised. I have a psychologist and a psychiatrist but it doesn’t help much. I don’t want to be around people anymore except to gamble. I gave up smoking 11 years ago. I only drink occasionally and I gave up marijuana many years ago. I know the reason I gamble is for escape. I manage my money well though. I really don’t know what to do or who to turn to anymore. My life is a nightmare. I’ve lost my health, my family, friends and my career.

Sareus I don't exist
  • replies: 5

My ptsd has been compounding recently thanks to large amounts of stress and anxiety in my life and I have been dissociating to the point where I feel like I no longer exist. The feeling gets so bad I even start hallucinating to further trick my fickl... View more

My ptsd has been compounding recently thanks to large amounts of stress and anxiety in my life and I have been dissociating to the point where I feel like I no longer exist. The feeling gets so bad I even start hallucinating to further trick my fickle brain.

pothos c-ptsd and handling any backlash after a delay in holding people accountable
  • replies: 2

Has anyone had experience dealing with fall out after finally holding people accountable for their actions? I grew up being emotionally abused by a sociopathic substance dependent violent father and mother who refused to leave or hold him accountable... View more

Has anyone had experience dealing with fall out after finally holding people accountable for their actions? I grew up being emotionally abused by a sociopathic substance dependent violent father and mother who refused to leave or hold him accountable. I've been estranged from my family for 5 years now after finally severing ties. Things were never going to change (I'm now 33). I knew it had messed me up but I found ways of getting on with life. 6 months ago a friends boyfriend indecently assaulted me at their house after a party. I froze. It was interrupted by another friend. I broke down after this. My friend did not leave her partner but stuck with him. My other friend who walked in on it happening told me they didn't want to be involved and go to go therapy. She'd known the assaulter for a decade and this hasn't happened before.... That he was drunk/high Scared to lose friends I pushed down all the hurt and abandonment and went to therapy. 6 months later I'm healing and realising I'm in a co-dependent friendship with a narcissist ... The one of who interrupted my assault but didn't want to get involved. I want these people out of my life. I am trying to prepare myself for the potential response from people.... Why didn't you say something? Why would you stay friends with these people including your assaulter? Etc.

Leptospermum Is this PTSD or severe anxiety (or both)?
  • replies: 1

Is it possible to have PTSD if you have had a boss that has bullied and harassed you over a number of years by: * allocating you more work than others (and expecting it to be done before you can go home) * taking higher duties away from you for no re... View more

Is it possible to have PTSD if you have had a boss that has bullied and harassed you over a number of years by: * allocating you more work than others (and expecting it to be done before you can go home) * taking higher duties away from you for no reason and giving them to another staff member (along with the pay) * micro-managing your work constantly and 'nit-picking' at small things * refusing to approve leave due to workloads * eventually trying to get you to move departments (and gaslighting it as a great opportunity when you have no desire to etc.) Just that I feel I have some PTSD symptoms just at the thought of returning to the workplace after working remotely for the past 6 months, as I have been given more autonomy (apart from twice daily online 'check-in' team meetings) and felt much happier and productive. Thinking about going back to the same environment again is causing panic attacks, severe anxiety, depression and now insomnia. I am thinking of seeking help of a professional, and perhaps get a letter to enable me to continue the current work arrangement where possible. At the same time, I am worried about dismissal and anxious what others will think or say if I am not at the workplace. Any thoughts or ideas? Thank-you

The_Writing_Monk Back into Lockdown
  • replies: 8

I hope folks out there are doing OK with news of another lockdown. Me, I'm not doing OK. After last year - when a putative 6 week lockdown became three months and was only ended when the public was verging on mutiny - I don't believe for a minute tha... View more

I hope folks out there are doing OK with news of another lockdown. Me, I'm not doing OK. After last year - when a putative 6 week lockdown became three months and was only ended when the public was verging on mutiny - I don't believe for a minute that this one will be so brief.

dragondundas trauma of witnessing my brother die
  • replies: 3

i didn't really know where else to turn too, as i am fighting this battle 'some what' silently. i have been really opening myself to trying to accept what happened. my brother only three years old, and was hit by a car right in front of me, when I wa... View more

i didn't really know where else to turn too, as i am fighting this battle 'some what' silently. i have been really opening myself to trying to accept what happened. my brother only three years old, and was hit by a car right in front of me, when I was eight. I am now twenty three/ almost four. For a long time I blamed myself, as anyone would - but I just have really been struggling with it. PTSD symptoms and severe anxiety have striked me pretty hard since September 2020. My father also died in a house fire. When I was seventeen. My family does not really talk about the grief aspects, which makes it hard as I do not feel comfortable going to them as they seem like they are already over it, which when I brought up that I wrote about the events that occurred the day of my brother accident. Mum told me to accept what happened, I was only eight, and that it's done 'never mind' she kept repeating. Which was hard, and good. But I feel pressure to get over it - when I feel like I just cannot. It is so heavy, and as I saw it happen - I can STILL see it happening. I used to have really bad flashes back to the accident. I am currently on medication as well as awaiting to receive counselling. I am just trying to accept it more - because I am really going through the emotions of it all. Especially, LAST NIGHT my family have kept a photo album of my brother, which consists of images of my brother, dead. A little morbid. But it really took me back, as we were around his body as a family and it was very emotional to look back on, there was also images of him - after the accident took place. Which were very hard to look at, but as I had forced myself to not look at them for years, I felt really strong being able to be there, and attempt to accept it more. But it just hurts so much. And I miss my brother, and my dad just as much. And I am trying to find like-minded people online that are going through remotely the same emotions, because I just feel so alone with it sometimes. A lot of stress and pressure, and I am quite reserved with it all, so if you have read this through to the end - I appreciate it, and any advice you want to share or experiences you feel would benefit my strain and ability to cope - please. thanks, dragon d.

Izuku_ Recently revealed my domestic issues to my school
  • replies: 5

Hey guys, This might be triggering and I'm not really sure if a warning is necessary but there you go- Anyways, I have a specialist (for mental health) and I've been talking to him about my domestic issues. Things for me are rough at home. I try to a... View more

Hey guys, This might be triggering and I'm not really sure if a warning is necessary but there you go- Anyways, I have a specialist (for mental health) and I've been talking to him about my domestic issues. Things for me are rough at home. I try to avoid my house and stay quiet in my home. It was only today that it was brought to my attention my father's treatment of me is abusive. This is a major shock to me. I guess I kind of new, maybe I was in denial, but heck it still scared me. I'm pretty traumatized and dealing with a lot of stress and depression so this was kind of the cherry on the cake- Does anyone know how to deal with this kind of thing? Like recovery of learning your parent is abusive, how to deal with living with an abusive parent, etc. I appreciate any help at all. Thank you so much.

Printers Wife left me due to childhood trauma ptsd
  • replies: 5

Hi, the first five years of our relationship my wife suppressed her child abuse and put on a front and was still an amazing person but inside her she was turmoiled. She hates herself and has issues with food. She showed me deep love and we great, or ... View more

Hi, the first five years of our relationship my wife suppressed her child abuse and put on a front and was still an amazing person but inside her she was turmoiled. She hates herself and has issues with food. She showed me deep love and we great, or I thought we were. After our child was born she developed anxiety that stemed from her childhood trauma and she sought professional help. She didn't want to pass on her trauma to our child and she had panic attacks. She still takes medication but during the last 5 years she grew distant as I was also dealing with the family courts for a child from my past that I have been estranged from since that child was one. I am a calm person but raised my voice/yelled a few words over a trivial argument but it triggers my wifes trauma and she emotionally vacated her feelings for me. I started to drink and lied about my drinking which triggered her even further. The stress of dealing with my estranged child and my wife was to much at times. My wife couldn't support me as she was dealing with her own issues. I tried to support her but she kept saying it was her own journey. Our relationship remained on life support but after sleeping separately for 2 to 3 years she recently said she doesn't love me any more and we are now in the process of separation. She is still attracted to me but has no feelings of love any more. Towards the end she explained to me the horrific things that she endured as a child and my heart broke for her. She says she wants the separation to remain permanent leading to divorce I guess. I'd be interested to know if anyone hear has had similar experiences me and my wife have had. This is sound destroying and all I wanted for us was to be a happy family. My wife continues to see her professional help, she knows how much I love her. Do you think maybe one day in the future she will heal enough to want me back? Thank you

kanga7575 How to ask my adult son if his older sister sexually assaulted him 
  • replies: 7

I am absolutely horrified right now and am looking for advice on how to ask my 24 year old son if his sister sexually assaulted him when they were younger as well as forcing his little sister to engage in sexual activity while she watched !!! As a su... View more

I am absolutely horrified right now and am looking for advice on how to ask my 24 year old son if his sister sexually assaulted him when they were younger as well as forcing his little sister to engage in sexual activity while she watched !!! As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse myself this has brought up all sorts of questions as you could imagine as well as horrible memories of my abusive childhood. Not to mention my resolve as a mother and survivor to never allow anyone to hurt my kids in this way !! I cannot fathom for the life of me how I missed this ! I am so angry, sad, horrified. I feel robbed .. I just don't know where to start. I found this out about 2 days ago ... I have been in shock ever since. My youngest daughter has gone through so much trauma and it's all the just started to unravel at the age of 22 ... Our family has gone through so much trauma in recent years and I had put her admission into a psychiatric unit down to the loss of both grandfathers, being sexually abused along with other female step-sibling by my ex-partner's step-father and then being raped by her boss at her part time job at a fast food restaurant, then losing her father, an uncle, both grandmothers, a long term relationship breakdown, finding out he had gotten another girl pregnant only a few months later... The poor girl has been a mess ... Well is if that was not enough for a lovely young girl to take, she told me the worst thing of all ... I can't believe she has kept this inside all this time ! My son has also had a very troubled life, I asked my daughter if he was forced by the older sister and her memories are too painful to say too much ... So I have to ask him .. but how ? Please help ! Desperate, heartbroken mother