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PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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PatM1 Can you have PTSD twice in your lifetime.
  • replies: 1

First, PTSD was when I was 5 years old from my mothers' brother, and my grandmother's next-door neighbour kept my silence until I was 22 had seen a psychologist from the age of 6 because my mother thought I was having pal mal seizures. But they were ... View more

First, PTSD was when I was 5 years old from my mothers' brother, and my grandmother's next-door neighbour kept my silence until I was 22 had seen a psychologist from the age of 6 because my mother thought I was having pal mal seizures. But they were nothing of the sort. So I did not tell her, just I was frightened of what might happen to her. The abuse went on until I was 8. I could not complete state school because of a nervous breakdown, so in grade 6 was transferred to a special school, so my lack of education cost me a great deal in self-esteem. The second PTSD was when I was 42 years old. My children and I went to my sister and brother-in-law's place for the Easter holidays at 1 am; I found myself doing CPR on my brother in law trying to bring him back to life, but that was not the case. We lost him that night. I have suffered from trauma twice in my life, so my question is can you have PTSD twice in your lifetime.

Curious77 Feeling anxious about home
  • replies: 155

Hello all, I thought I would give these forums a try because I feel anxious every time I go home because I have come to the conclusion that my father is psychologically abusing me, continually harassing me and lying to me and not allowing me peace in... View more

Hello all, I thought I would give these forums a try because I feel anxious every time I go home because I have come to the conclusion that my father is psychologically abusing me, continually harassing me and lying to me and not allowing me peace in general by trying to get me upset all the time. I am on a low income and I do not think too well because I stress out easily and feel overwhelmed by it all. I do not know how to get myself out of this and I do not have any close friends or family because of my father's behaviour and my own low self esteem and feelings of worthlessness. I can not remember the last time I was happy to be alive and connected to the world around me and I would like that to change.

Enoughloss_ Ptsd childhood trauma and the ripple effect
  • replies: 7

Where to start we talk about having to be silent about keeping quiet about the abuse many people suffer at the hands of the people who are meant to protect us. But what happens when you do tell when people do go to jail and apologise for the wrong th... View more

Where to start we talk about having to be silent about keeping quiet about the abuse many people suffer at the hands of the people who are meant to protect us. But what happens when you do tell when people do go to jail and apologise for the wrong they did to you? While many seem to think it’s good is it really? Sadly society is not as forgiving to both the victim ( she must of dressed or acted in some way to deserve it, maybe she is like the person who abused her and will do that to others) or the offender ( he is a bad person any one who knows him must be ok with what he had done, he could never change once an abuser always an abuser) yet our justice says he has done his time for the crime and has had his life theatened and almost taken from other inmates now has the right to live as we all do free to get on with his life and leave the past behind with in limits. now society views the offender by his crime and the victim must not have anything to do with him otherwise they are seen to be condoning the behaviour that resulted in the prison term in the first place. so where does this leave the victim? They have no family and are punished no matter which path they take.

Bella99 Im not sure why all of a sudden my mental health has gone so low
  • replies: 2

I’m 22 and suddenly all my old issues have risen up…. I’m not sure how to cope… I was used for sex at 14 by a 19 year old and have lost everything since then to try and take them to court I feel like I’ve failed and how will I ever get to tell him Ho... View more

I’m 22 and suddenly all my old issues have risen up…. I’m not sure how to cope… I was used for sex at 14 by a 19 year old and have lost everything since then to try and take them to court I feel like I’ve failed and how will I ever get to tell him How I feel about ruining my child hood…. If I can’t find anything from the past do I move on and ignore it ever happened or do I sent a text explaining how pissed off I still am to him so I can feel …. Idk something

Kitty1991 Will seeing someone ACTUALLY help?
  • replies: 11

Hi everyone, it has taken me many years to realise that my childhood was filled with daily sexual abuse from my older siblings. From when I started kindergarten to when I left home, it was normal behaviour and just what I was meant to do. My parents ... View more

Hi everyone, it has taken me many years to realise that my childhood was filled with daily sexual abuse from my older siblings. From when I started kindergarten to when I left home, it was normal behaviour and just what I was meant to do. My parents found out about it when I still in primary school, because i got very sick. I was told that I wasn’t old enough for that yet. So a year later when I was older it started again. It has affected me everyday, I still blame myself, even though logically I know it is not my fault. I have never shared my story, I guess I think people would agree it is my fault. There is a free service near me that provides counseling to survivors of sexual abuse. I keep hesitating to reach out to them though. Would it actually help me to stop thinking about the abuse and blaming myself? Most days I hate myself and what has happened, I keep blaming myself. I have extremely severe depression and extremely severe anxiety and I see a counsellor for that but I don’t know if I am going to get better unless I deal with my childhood. But I don’t know if I can talk to someone about it. Does anyone have any advice? Has counseling actually helped anyone move on before? And what do I do about my family including my abusers that I have regular contact with.

SoulSearch Different reactions to different traumas
  • replies: 1

Hi all I’ve recently discovered that perhaps some things I dealt with as a child and how I was raised have had a massive impact on how I behave in relationships. How close or open or intimate I can allow myself to be before withdrawing and isolating ... View more

Hi all I’ve recently discovered that perhaps some things I dealt with as a child and how I was raised have had a massive impact on how I behave in relationships. How close or open or intimate I can allow myself to be before withdrawing and isolating myself because I’m scared, I’m not good at being vulnerable. As I read through some of these posts and learn about trauma and PTSD my dealings seem somewhat insignificant in comparison to what others have dealt with. Do you think that people out there can have such different reactions and feel things so differently based on the event? And some people recover easily and move on and others find it harder? I find myself in that limbo zone where I don’t think my “trauma” is significant to others and there for I just should move on. Hope I’m making some sense??!

psalm_139 offender has girlfriend who doesn't know what he has done
  • replies: 2

TW - sexual assault. The person who assaulted me has a girlfriend, who doesn't know what he has done (I assume). I don't know her (personally - have seen her on social media) and she doesn't know me or have any idea who I am. I am stuck. If my partne... View more

TW - sexual assault. The person who assaulted me has a girlfriend, who doesn't know what he has done (I assume). I don't know her (personally - have seen her on social media) and she doesn't know me or have any idea who I am. I am stuck. If my partner had assaulted someone, I would want to know...what would you do in this situation? I could reach out to her on social media. But am also very scared to do that because of what the offender could do. Please help.

ocean-man Making a change for someone who's miles away
  • replies: 2

Hi all, I need some advice. I've been in a long-distance relationship with a girl living in the US for about 3 months now. We both love each other very much and can depend on each other. However, as of late things have become much more concerning for... View more

Hi all, I need some advice. I've been in a long-distance relationship with a girl living in the US for about 3 months now. We both love each other very much and can depend on each other. However, as of late things have become much more concerning for me. This girl lives in an abusive family, physically and mentally, and it's beginning to have an extreme toll on her mental health. The main offender is her mother, who's had three children including her (that I know of) with a fourth on the way. For so long this woman has done so much to harm her. She's neglected her, played favourites with her younger brother and, in the worst cases, physically assaulted her for almost no reason. I can elaborate on some things if need be, but that's about the gist of it. I've done so much to try and help her, living in Australia, yet it's beginning to fall flat. My ultimate goal is to get her to a place where she's able to live without having to worry about not being treated right, where she doesn't have to hole herself up in her room in order to avoid being yelled at for nothing. I've urged her to call the police and yet her family lies in order to save their own skin. I've given her hotlines to call and I'm not sure if she's contacted any of them. I genuinely don't know what to do anymore, but I don't want to leave her to fend for herself. She's very unstable mentally and I'm worried something bad will happen if I don't do something soon. Thank you in advance

Jane363 4 years of PTSD, Depression and Chronic Pain after being attacked at work
  • replies: 9

So this stage of my life is a new experience for me. Used to take care of others, never asked for help for myself. Find this difficult to be open & vulnerable. Everybody's rock. Single mum 3 kids & extras. Primary carer both parents. Disability worke... View more

So this stage of my life is a new experience for me. Used to take care of others, never asked for help for myself. Find this difficult to be open & vulnerable. Everybody's rock. Single mum 3 kids & extras. Primary carer both parents. Disability worker. Attacked at work by client (after going to help coworker); caused soft tissue injuries, broken bones, detached retina, spinal nerve damage, massive weight gain... Literally had to learn to walk again. Now suffer chronic pain, nerve pain, falls due to balance issues, muscle spasms & tremors, cervicogenic headaches (migraine on steroids - stimulation eg light, noise, clothes... all painful), ocular migraines (temp loss of vision), nightmares, depression, grief & ptsd. ANGRY. There's more but thats enough negative. I lived to dance, paint, garden, read and cook. I loved & lived life to the fullest, always busy. Now I can barely walk. Chances of making it back to the dance floor - not. I chair dance on my rare good days. Although I can't stand the noise from the music. I'll never cook again. - blending flavours, creating visual appeal and taste; totally lost knife skills; painting fairyland or dolphin/undersea murals was my release from life's stress. gardening is another lost skill - can't do bonsai safely anymore, nor can I cope with the demands of maintaining a decent garden. Reading is slowly coming back - I can read short stories again sometimes. I keep notes of characters & plot line, so I don't I forget and lose understanding. There is so much of my life I have lost. Pet peeve - general public's belief that they have the "right" to know my life story. I'm not some freaking reality TV show for their entertainment. Yes there is a horrifying story about intrusion beyond social acceptability behind this issue. I was actually chased into the toilets by someone who felt that it was their right to know my story. I have changed from a very social person to complete self-isolation. I talk to my medical team & 1 friend who wouldn't let me cut them out of my life, no matter how hard I tried. So do I have a life? NO! I exist. But I am slowly (4 years now) coming to terms with this new "life". Have I considered ending it all? Several times, but couldn't do that to my kids - the life-sentence of grief and guilt they would feel stops me every time. So now its time to learn how to start living again - maybe not how I had planned, but that's life. This was my next step on that pathway.

Icantthinkofaname Too repressed to ever have a relationship? (TW)
  • replies: 2

Over the course of my life, either as a result of what I was exposed to, or what I exposed my self to in coping with it, I've locked away all notion of sex/sexuality in a box labeled "do not touch." It kept me safe when my only sexual/romantic relati... View more

Over the course of my life, either as a result of what I was exposed to, or what I exposed my self to in coping with it, I've locked away all notion of sex/sexuality in a box labeled "do not touch." It kept me safe when my only sexual/romantic relationships were detrimental. But now I'm 18. I'm an adult that hasn't kissed since 13 - if we're even counting that. I heard a peer talk about crushes and dating, and it reminded me that other people still feel that. A special type of joy, nervous butterflies, holding someone's hand. THings that feel childish and unsafe simultaneously. Things that feel like they will never be mine again. I'm at a place that is still too afraid to even conceptualise myself being viewed in a sexual/romantic way, but this small voice, the young romantic I once was, yearns for it. And it sucks because I should have spent my teen years experimenting with "love" and crushes and sexuality. But instead they were spent fortifying a brick wall, locking me inside, and everyone else out. I don't know what to do with it now.