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PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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Sophie_M If you need to talk about Bondi Beach - Our community is here
  • replies: 7

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Aus... View more

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Australia and we extend our heartfelt condolences to the individuals and families affected by this tragedy. We wanted to create a space where you can share whatever you’re feeling - whether that’s fear, shock, grief, or anything else that has come up for you. If you need support from others in the community, please feel welcome to post here. Violence and acts of terror can bring feelings of shock, grief, profound sadness, anger and fear. It’s normal to experience these emotions while trying to make sense of distressing events. It may take time for these feelings to ease, but it’s never too early to seek support if you are feeling distressed. Beyond Blue is here for you anytime, by phone on 1300 224 636 or via webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor You can also support those around you by being available to them and listening. Thank you for being such an important part of this community, and for the kindness, honesty, and wisdom you continue to share with each other. We remind the community that Beyond Blue is here for all people in Australia, no matter what you believe, how you live or who you worship. Kind regards Sophie M

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Jak28 Rehoming a pet and loosing control, single and pregnant, not adapting to the change of it
  • replies: 2

Hi, I am new to this however wanted to seek any support or similar scenarios anyone has been able to overcome. I’m 34 weeks pregnant with my first child after the dad walked out a few weeks after finding out. We bought a puppy together shortly before... View more

Hi, I am new to this however wanted to seek any support or similar scenarios anyone has been able to overcome. I’m 34 weeks pregnant with my first child after the dad walked out a few weeks after finding out. We bought a puppy together shortly before finding out also. to give him credit we did rush into a relationship ship and he moved into my house very quickly still not ok to walk out I had to go off all my medication for CPTSD at the beginning of my pregnancy and have coped really well Fast forward to today when I’ve spent the past week trying to comprehend what is best for the puppy I am absolutely in love with and spend every minute with - I had to give her up for adoption and the best family came and got her as I can’t keep her and my other dog when a baby is on the way as my other dog is quite old and can be a little territorial I didn’t think it would have effected me so much but I’ve been having constant panic attacks, crying my eyes out trying to grieve the loss and feeling overwhelming guilt I feel like everything is changing and I’ve lost so much and am just not dealing with anything really we’ll add on the stress of giving birth which is just around the corner and having to change my whole life again on my own I’m terrified but mostly I just miss my girl She was such an amazing dog and I love her so much I just feel like I’m dealing with so much grief and it feels like I’ve lost so much this year that I’m at breaking point she’s going to be so loved but I cannot stop internalising what she may or may not be going through she’d be so lost in a house of strangers after being here with me and my tee dog for the past 8 months I feel so much regret I’m getting anxiety all of the time atm and it’s making me sick my panic attacks are all consuming and they terrify me last time I ended up in hospital as one lasted 6 hours and now I don’t have medication to soften the blow like I used to it makes me feel like I’m a different person and my whole way of thinking shifts and I become a stranger to myself it honestly scares me just wandering if anyone has gone through something similar and how they overcome the feeling of loss and heartbreak

Little-Red After Effects
  • replies: 7

I was witness to a woman who tried to commit suicide in the hotel i worked in . It was churning me up inside , i told the manager , who said to blacklist her , along with a barrage of insults about her trying to do it in her hotel. Not once did she a... View more

I was witness to a woman who tried to commit suicide in the hotel i worked in . It was churning me up inside , i told the manager , who said to blacklist her , along with a barrage of insults about her trying to do it in her hotel. Not once did she ask me if i was ok , i stayed with the women until the ambulance arrived , how i kept it together is beyond me. I i got home , threw up , keep seeing her image , i have nightmares about it , and did mention to manager . I am now not working there , struggling big time , any help would be appreciated.

Steve_A I have PTSD and a surviver of sexual abuse
  • replies: 4

Hi there, I have a lot of issues going on and have hit the bottle hard for a long time to cope. This has caused my marriage to break down and my wife wants to separate. I don't want this to happen because I love her and she is my best friend and I ha... View more

Hi there, I have a lot of issues going on and have hit the bottle hard for a long time to cope. This has caused my marriage to break down and my wife wants to separate. I don't want this to happen because I love her and she is my best friend and I have realised she is pretty much my only friend. I'm at a loss as to what to do... she is amazing and wants me to stay at home because she loves me as a friend and cares about me. I have realised that as kind as that is, she doesn't need that stress and our 4 kids need a happy mum. I have seen a lot of councillors over the past 12 months and am getting better but I'm worried about reverting back to my old habits if I move out...... I have types a few questions Next, but how do you watch the women you love move on when you want it to be you even though you know it's your issues that have made her move on?????

Anzee Feeling incapable of solo parenting
  • replies: 45

Has anyone experienced huge fear you’re not capable of looking after your kids on your own if you leave your abusive partner? We left my two daughters’ dad in January after my psych finally convinced me to make contact with a domestic violence servic... View more

Has anyone experienced huge fear you’re not capable of looking after your kids on your own if you leave your abusive partner? We left my two daughters’ dad in January after my psych finally convinced me to make contact with a domestic violence service. I didn’t know he was abusive. He’d been physical in the past but it was only a few times so I brushed it off. It’s mainly been sexual and emotional abuse. He used to yell and swear at the kids, which is why I left in the end! I knew it wasn’t right and I didn’t want them to think it was ok. Once we left, we were put in crisis accommodation and I had a risk assessment done which resulted in child protection being involved. They put restrictions in place which meant he was only allowed supervised visits and during those few months I barely spoke to him. I realised later I didn’t have a panic attack in that time. Fast forward a few months and we were on the verge of becoming homeless (the girls and I) so I let him buy a house under his name (when we went to buy a house I found out all of our accounts were under his name only, even my inheritance) my professional supports tried to talk me out of going back to/ live with him so they put us in crisis accommodation again while we waited for a unit and get our name on a list for a refuge. We were in a dark and dingy motel 40 minutes from home and I didn’t cope well! I couldn’t fight anymore. I felt so weak and so scared but was trying to be strong for my girls but I just couldn’t so we went back to my mums which was also toxic and now we’re here in our new house and he has been pretty good, still not great but I am so turned off by my previous experiences of getting out and going into the system. I feel completely incapable of looking after our daughters on my own, even though I did it for months. I just feel like now he’s back in our life I can’t do it on my own anymore. I feel like I need him for everything. I need someone else to be responsible for our daughters even if that doesn’t involve actually doing anything for them, just knowing I’m not solely responsible takes enough presssure off me to cope. I don’t feel like my mental health will survive me being on my own again. Has anyone else had a similar experience? And did you manage to overcome those fears? I cut off all of my professional supports because they kept voicing concern about our safety with him and it was stopping me from comfortably living with him, but I’ve re-engaged with my psychologist.

Ely_ Repressed memories and trauma
  • replies: 8

It's been a really tough month. I started Schema therapy with my psychologist, and had also started processing some of my adult trauma from a DV ex relationship from over 15 years ago. Unfortunately, it all brought up or allowed to surface some memor... View more

It's been a really tough month. I started Schema therapy with my psychologist, and had also started processing some of my adult trauma from a DV ex relationship from over 15 years ago. Unfortunately, it all brought up or allowed to surface some memories(?) that I am trying really hard to not believe are real right now from my childhood. It has the same feelings, the fear, etc. The body sensations. But I am struggling so much. Fighting so hard against it. One minute I am reminded of what my psych advised, make room for the thoughts and allow them. The next I am trying to escape my own mind anyway I can. My CPTSD and BPD are running riot right now. I feel like my world is falling apart. How can I face my family at Christmas? At all?? I am broken.

Doc88 FEELING LOST
  • replies: 4

I feel completely broken and alone

I feel completely broken and alone

Daniel_F I Am Officially Broken
  • replies: 4

Been to Hell and back too many times lately. My ex partner who i live with is a heavy drinker and has also become a frequent ice user over the past few months. His violent outbursts have become unbearable. We were given one last chance with our real ... View more

Been to Hell and back too many times lately. My ex partner who i live with is a heavy drinker and has also become a frequent ice user over the past few months. His violent outbursts have become unbearable. We were given one last chance with our real estate back in Feb with a little one bedroom flat. I lived there for the first 7 weeks by myself (he was in jail for a few months). I looked after the place like nothing else. Within the space of 2 months of him getting out of jail the place looks like a bomb hit it. Holes and gashes out of walls, bedroom door destroyed, main door, screen door, bathroom door all damaged, oven door damaged. Big screen TV destroyed + the small TV & playstation and other smaller items. I am only on the DSP, and i have also accumulated $5000 debt trying to make up for his lack of financial contributions due to his alcohol/drug use. We have been in a temporary 2 bedroom house for the past few weeks due to storm damage on the other property. He has already had several violent outbursts here and done even more damage. He is asleep now but today has been the worst in a while. I just know that more damage will happen. I am the only one on the lease. I just feel like running. But no where to go. I am against getting vaxxed and think on Dec 15th i just need to take off and leave this all behind me. I really don't know what to do

sadgirl57 How to navigate & function
  • replies: 6

I'm having a struggly time and I really am having a hard time seeking support because I can't talk and/or communicate effectly what's going with me. I cry and lose my words. I can't write anything down because I get too anxious then lose it. Or I do ... View more

I'm having a struggly time and I really am having a hard time seeking support because I can't talk and/or communicate effectly what's going with me. I cry and lose my words. I can't write anything down because I get too anxious then lose it. Or I do and I'm not brave enough to hand over the letter. I need to find a new, regular doctor and psycholgist and I just can't man. Having to do the spiel and breaking down in front of them... far out. Me not really being able to convey myself. I'm so disconnected from my body. I regularly catch myself realising I'm not breathing or breathing really quickly and shallow. I haven't slipped in a hole this deep in a long time. I really thought I was past this. I just quit my job even after cutting down to 2 days. It took so much mental time to recover and the anxiety I felt outside of work constantly about going back. Having to pretend, put on face, be professional, giving, loving, patient, quick and on the ball. I couldnt. I just spent hours daydreaming and feeling pain when I have to 'come back'. I keep coming out of trances and I've binged on food or order delivery or smoked again. My dog isn'tgetting cared for like she should, I keep asking for help in my own way but can't convey how bad. My bf and Mum (the only people I really have) just say go to the doctor, any doctor. 'Go on meds, eat well & excercise' sure doc. I'm tired of being gaslit into being recommended 'what's best for me'. I just need some support in practicing healthy people skills. In a safe space. Constant flashbacks and painful memories violate my mind. I've gotten myself out of slumps before but this is different. The longer is goes on the harder it is to remember why bother at all. I'm starting to isolate again because I'm filled with shame and getting help is the hardest shiz. 10 years. Recovery faith dwindling. Where is all the actual trauma aware docs and psychoologists?

MaxnotKat I hate everyone because of my past trauma, and no matter what i cant respect anyone
  • replies: 5

hi, im khyana- im 12 years old and suffering from depression. when i was 8 months old, i was first taken away from my family- i was soon returned though. all my life i have been abused by my family and friends, bullied at school, and hurt by myself. ... View more

hi, im khyana- im 12 years old and suffering from depression. when i was 8 months old, i was first taken away from my family- i was soon returned though. all my life i have been abused by my family and friends, bullied at school, and hurt by myself. every time i get a friend, i freak out from pat trauma and unfriend them, whenever i fall in love- same goes. i have never accepted anyone into my life because of this. i have now been taken away from my family and put into foster care over 4 times, but each time i was returned after a year or so. Im starting to reject everyone who tries to enter my life, and ive become rude. i see the world in only its fails, and everyone in it as pathetic people. I have also been r@ped before, although i am not comfortable with talking about it. Im not scared nobody will ever like me, nor am i scared of people lonely. I am scared of myself for hurting everyone who tries to help me. It feels like im in an endless loop, and its making me restless. I dont care about people, as i think they are all stupid. I try and change my vision on people, but no matter what, it only takes me about 10 seconds to have at least 100 insults in my head about them. Anyone know how i can learn to respect humans instead of hating them all?

Camille_Lion Lost
  • replies: 4

Hi I’m a newbie to this. Feeling pretty lost and wondering if people can help with ways to move through PTSD. I’ve spent a few cat lives in the past and been through all sorts of pretty serious stuff but nothing like PTSD. I thought with my past that... View more

Hi I’m a newbie to this. Feeling pretty lost and wondering if people can help with ways to move through PTSD. I’ve spent a few cat lives in the past and been through all sorts of pretty serious stuff but nothing like PTSD. I thought with my past that I was very resilient and I have been, but this condition has knocked my socks off. Hearing people say get back just angers me. Basically I’m frustrated with myself and feeling crappy. I get that I’ll continue to have the symptoms for who knows how long but it’s so exhausting. Flashbacks, nightmares, flinching and reacting to movies/shows (that’s if I can focus enough to watch one), letting people down, missing major events like weddings/significant birthdays, can’t shop without headphones and support most of the time. But then, some days feeling completely normal for a while and wondering why I’m not back at work (knowing in the background I can’t handle pressure for panic attacks which are crippling). I’d like to draw on people for ways to get through it. Already have regular psychiatrist who is awesome, counsellor, awesome friends and family. Reading self help books and doing yoga, long stitch, gardening. Why won’t it just get better and:or go away. Feeling exhausted and fed up.