Extreme panic attack

[Scarlett06]

Hi everyone, I posted this morning to this same topic but needed help again.

I’m 17 and have complex ptsd, autism and severe anxiety.
I have a long distance boyfriend, who I haven’t been able to see because of lockdown. Tonight I had flashbacks from all my past traumas and started having tremors and “seeing” the same demon thing that comes only when I’m with someone I’m in a relationship with. I have no idea why this happens and id like to understand because every time I had a thought about why it happens my tremors and flashbacks got worse.

I have seen this thing when I’m by myself sometimes, but mainly when I’m with someone. It tells me to do things. I know it’s not there and I don’t actually visually see it, it’s just in my mind.
move mentioned it to my therapist.

is it an attention thing?

i can’t stop shaking, it starts out like a normal panic attack and gradually gets worse.

im sorry I can’t type well enough to explain it right now, I’m stillshaken up. I hope you understand and thanks for helping me out.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Scarlett06,

Thank you for your post. I'm really sorry that you're struggling so much with this; it sounds really scary?! I've had panic attacks and flashbacks before but I haven't seen any demons or feels like someone is telling me what to do so this sounds quite different. Does it always happen when you're with someone?

My guess so far is that maybe this demon or these voices (or this situation in general) is your brain trying to cope with the stress of a relationship. I don't know what your traumatic experience was but often trauma happens with people who don't make us feel safe. So later, we might be around safe people- but our brains are still stuck in the past a little bit, so while you might logically know this person is okay maybe your brain hasn't clued onto that yet.

Does this resonate with you at all? What does your therapist think?

rt

[Scarlett06]

Hi RT,

thank you for your reply.
This makes a lot of sense to me, I’ve also had trauma with past relationships so this could be why.

Thank you for taking time out of your day to send a reply! Hope you have a wonderful day.