PTSD - Disconnecting From Friends and Family

[Grimace]

Morning All,

I suffer from PTSD, Adjustment Disorder and Depression stemming from my time in the Service. Currently under treatment of Psychologist and Psychiatrist but have found that there is only so much talking I can do and take on board. Being in the hole and trying to climb out is bloody hard and with everyone giving advice its all just overwhelming. So far I've lost a marriage, a new relationship and I'm close to losing the bond with my children. The kids can see me falling apart and they can sense its a struggle for me to show them the affection they deserve - I know its wrong, but it all feels like a chore trying to put on that brave face and pretend I'm ok. My parents have an understanding, but as much as they are trying to help, once again its the feeling of being overwhelmed with advice and concern.

As stated earlier, I do appreciate everyone in my circle trying to help, but there is only so much talking a person can do before it gets too much. As much as its not good, I've found myself disconnected from everyone. On one hand its needed but also I know its not the better thing to do. Its been six weeks now and I still have no real way forward - its almost a sense of comfort being away.

Apologies for the rant, but had to get it off my chest - my biggest concern is trying to get the bond back with my kids, but it feels almost impossible most days; feels like a "tick-in-the-box" exercise getting through most days...

[Sophie_M]

Hi Grimace, 

This sounds incredibly difficult, and it sounds like you're doing an incredible job of finding the support you need to help you through this without damaging your relationships. It can be really overwhelming constantly receiving advice, and it's important you can talk and release some of this frustration this causes. We're glad you found our forums, and we really hope that writing here can help you work through what you’re feeling. 

We can hear that you may not feel like talking right now, but do please know that you can get in touch with our counsellors at any time, on 1300 22 4636, or via our webchat or email here. It can make a real difference having someone to talk to especially in moments of distress. It's good to hear that you're working with a psychologist and psychiatrist. You could also make contact with Blue Knot, if you ever want someone else to talk to, on 1300 657 380 (Monday – Sunday between 9am - 5pm AEST). They also have some resources on their website which could be useful to visit, particularly the pages on Survivors Self Care. 

We are really grateful that you were brave enough to reach out to the forums today as we know this can be difficult to do for the first time. Please feel welcome to "rant" here, anytime. It can be really tough to reach out but you never know who will read your post and feel less alone in their own experiences. Please do share more with us here on how you're feeling and what might help, if you feel up to it. 

Kind regards, 

Sophie M 

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Grimace,

A very warm and caring to our forums...

I really am deeply sorry about what PTSD/Adjustment disorder and depression is making you feel....

I can hear by your words that you get overwhelmed by talking about the things your going through...It is hard at time..My PTSD stems from long term childhood abuse and 38 years living with a very cruel narcissistic man.....A lot different from yours..for which I would like to say thank you for the time you spent serving our beautiful country...

Its okay to rant here..wow I’ve done it a lot..it does help in a way as I live alone and have no one to rant or talk to...and we all need to release our hurt and pain somewhere and here is a wonderful place....

I won’t give you any of my suggestions right now as your so overwhelmed but I would like to give you my care and support the best I can...,I don’t want to overwhelm you any more then you are...

Please know Dear Grimace, that I’m a good listener and hopefully I can help support you....Sometimes I think that talking and connecting to other people who has mental health issues (as well as professionals)... can be of help..

My kindest and most caring thoughts..

Here if you feel to talk about anything at all..

Grandy...

[topsy_]

Hi Grimace

I want to thank you for your service too. A member of my family is in the Defence forces. I have no idea what your accommodation is like at present but I remember reading something about an organisation that trains/provides? dogs for servicemen. Have you heard of that? A dog is loving & loyal & doesn’t attempt to psychoanalyse you. All he wants is you.

Just an idea, T.

[Croix]

Dear Grimace~

Greetings - I'll keep this short.

I've found when my illness was at its worst my PTSD and depression took over and filled my mind up. The affliction takes all the brain's processing power to feed those illnesses, and there is no room to try to deal with people as well.

Doesn't matter their intentions -normally good, or what the say, it can simply be too much and I responded with anger and resentment.

Why not see if medical team can take a different direction for a while, more physical action, less talk? It will mean if they only say a few things the there's a better chance of them sinking in.

I'd guess it is better to be temporarily distanced from those you love that continue down a destructive path.

Mind you, sorting out who I did (or was capable of) love was hard enough.

Rest you mind

Would you believe I now lead a pretty good life with love and accomplishment.

Croix (who was invalided out of the police with the usual)

[Todda]

Hi Grimace,

My amazing partner has military PTSD, anger management and many physical ailments. I have lived with major depression for 30+ years. I now work in child protection which has many issues for us workers and the people we try to help.

Some days we make each other stronger, some we hit it each other below the belt. Our 9 year journey together has taken many twists and turns ... many times close to calling quits. Equine Therapy through Mates4Mates was a turning point.

The lockdowns haven't helped with him becoming more isolated. Now me, the social one, is also isolating myself ... I need in person contact in my personal life to keep strong. Be it going to markets, fishing off the beach or a BBQ with friends and family.

Not sure if what I have said helps, but one thing my grunt has taught me is that no man is left behind.... the organisation may but your military family who you served beside don't.

Take care.

[SR2333]

Hi Grimace,

I’m giving no advice and not taking anything from what you’ve said your defiantly not alone in everyone of those feelings, symptoms. I don’t know if there is any comfort in that, I know personally I’ve found the isolation between my own self imposed and difficulty in finding support groups or people that relate sometimes overwhelmingly lonely to get over.
Far too many psychiatrists, psychologists and not enough real people I can share with, I’m not sure about you but at times I feel a danger to those I love so close up. Sometimes I also don’t want to talk about nice things and this becomes conflicting, it’s a struggle, every day is at times on some level a struggle.
Happy to chat about everything and nothing, frustration and crap, leave the mindfulness and the CBT for the professionals.

take care.

[n2k12]

Sorry to hear your situation. Being abandoned, or having to abandon friends and family is very hard. hang in there!