Hi Scarlett, welcome
I'm really pleased you posted here as this is exactly why this forum exists, for people with issues.
You have one thing in your favour- you have insight. Those that dont have insight aren't as lucky as you. Having insight means you are half way on the journey to one day fixing your own problems or forecasting when they are about to occur.
I do think your diagnosed illnesses have a lot to do with your problems. I'm bipolar, anxiety and dysthymia and one thing I'm aware of is "foot in mouth disease" meaning I often say things without thinking. I also have a bad memory. Both of those things contribute towards conflict with other people. Eg someone gets tired of me never remembering their name or I tell them their hair is messy. I've found some remedy for these hiccups- eg I'll write their name down under a heading in my phone and I'll try to remember saying good things about them not what can be seen as a fault.
Re: "I think my biggest problem is getting mad at people for small things, I lost my best friend because we hadn’t talked for a few weeks and she replaced me with another girl. I got angry at her instead of talking it out."
Better a distant friend than no friend at all. This is often is a sign of inexperience and as we become older we usually throw away our expectations of our friends. We can be adults or late teens and do things in a mature manner but also be emotionally immature. I know this as I was. At 17yo I joined the Air Force but emotionally was only 12yo. Eventually this emotional youth catches up to our real age however I was about 40yo before it did.
A good friend will contact you when they want your company, not from obligations or fear that you will roast them. So an apology might be in order and that can be done easily. "I'm sorry to have had expectations, I was going through a bad time. Your friendship means a lot to me and please feel free to contact when and if you feel comfortable in doing so, (then change the topic, ending with a question) "Hey, how's your brother going?" Love...."
What is the most important things?
- That regardless of making mistakes is that you learn from them
- To not have too high a bar to reach with your own behaviour considering you have autism PTSD and anxiety
- That you accept that even if you try hard there will be casualties in this journey of learning
- That you are a good person regardless because you are trying hard.
- To love yourself
- To expand your friends base.
repost anytime
TonyWK
