Bullying/past trauma

[shanna_d]

This isn’t easy for me to talk about, but I thought I’d share it on here to help others in the same situation. High school was the worst time for me. Mainly in years 7-8. I was bullied mainly by one girl (we’ll call her B). At the time I was very quiet and shy which is probably why she targeted me. I just wanted to learn and to fit in at school. She would say things to make me cry and intimidate me. Once she got other girls in my class to gang up on me and bully me. They weren’t usually the mean ones. I guess they did it because of peer pressure I’m not sure. I dreaded going to school because of B. At the time I didn’t know why she targeted me. I thought I was the problem. Looking back on it I know that’s not true and that it was more about her insecurities and not about me. It was like she couldn’t go a day without bullying me. When we all reached senior year B matured and was nicer to me. I’ve since moved on from the experience but I’ll never forget it.

At the time I was too scared to ask for help or talk to a teacher. I opened up to my parents about what was happening, which was very hard, and I ended up switching classes, which made things better. I bottled it up for a long time, because I was scared. But I realised it’s not good to handle these things yourself. It’s important to talk to someone you trust and can confide in so the situation can be changed. Being the shy and friendly person I was, I tried being nice to B despite how she was treating me. I thought I could bring out the niceness in her, maybe. It didn’t work. I always see the good in people, and I guess I thought I saw some good in her somewhere, and that she could find it.

High school is only a small part of your life. It doesn’t last forever. Although it might seem hard now, things do get better. I hope someone sees this post and can relate to my experience.

[mmMekitty]

Hello shanna d, & welcome to the forum. That's a very good post you've written.

I was bullied a long time ago, & didn't get the help I had needed then. I was left to cope as I could, which was not well at all. Time passed, & school didn't last forever, so I eventually didn't have that bullying in my life anymore.

Thank you for your post.

😺mmMekitty

[sbella02]

Hey Shanna D,

Thank you for your openness in your post. Bullying is a tough situation to go through at any age, and can have lasting effects on your mental health, even if it is brief or happened a long time ago. I can empathise with your situation, particularly as I was bullied in primary school. My parents kept reminding me that people who bully are often projecting their own insecurities onto others, and that their behaviour says a lot more about them and their flaws than it does about you and yours. I found much solace in this advice.

I understand your dilemma - I always try to see the good in people too. While it can be a huge strength in social situations, there are times when people take advantage of your kindness, which hurts so much. I can imagine how much strength it would've taken to be kind to her despite her treatment of you, and I commend you for your maturity in this situation.

Have you ever considered having a chat to somebody like a counsellor, therapist, or psychologist about your experience and how it affects your life today? It may be intimidating to think about sharing something so personal, but I know that for me, opening up to a counsellor about certain events that have happened in my life has been relieving for my own mental health. It can be comforting to know that you have somebody else's support, and they may even be able to offer you some professional advice to get you the assistance you deserve.

Just know that we're always here to support you on these forums, if you wish to chat further.

All the best, SB