Am I suffering from PTSD?

[Zenbaba]

Hi everyone,

I've suffered from anxiety before, but recently I feel different. I don't think it's depression, so I thought I'd ask here.

In 2008 my father died due to complications from alcoholism. I was with him when he died. In 2015 my husband committed suicide and I found him.

I sought psychological help after both events.

For the past month I feel down for no reason, I have no energy or motivation, don't want to go to work and am finding it difficult to do anything really.

I have almost out of body experiences, where I see something or hear something related to either my husband or father and think, "hey, that should bother me or upset me", however at the time it doesn't seem to. Without fail, every night when I try to sleep, I'll involuntarily replay events associated with their deaths or over think and am unable to stop.

I don't know what to do or how to stop feeling this way. I don't feel like I need to see a psychologist and do talk regularly to my GP who has recently started me on antidepressant medication. Amy advice would be greatly appreciated.

[PamelaR]

Hi Zenbaba and welcome to our forums

I'm sorry to hear about your husband and father. You have had so much to deal with, it's no wonder you are feeling the way you are.

I'm not a health professional, just someone who has PTSD, anxiety and depression. Losing a hubby who committed suicide and having a father who died from alcoholism complications is exceptionally hard. Along with that I expect that your life may not have always been and easy one and there are things that happened which could now trigger you.

The out of body experiences you have are not to dissimilar to what I've experienced. My psychologist told me it was - dissociation. She said it was my way of coping with the trauma I had experienced in my life. So it is not unusual for this to happen when one experiences extreme situations.

Replaying the events of your life also sounds like what I used to do. It's so hard at times isn't it? What helped me was to talk with someone. I chose to speak with a psychologist. This helped me significantly as they gave me tools to manage those thoughts that kept springing into my head. There are so many different tools and methods out there. Not one method suits everyone, what works for one may not work for another. That's why I've found it really good going to see a psychologist.

Did you want to explain why you don't want to see a psychologist? There's no pressure for you to say. Just if you want to. You're not alone Zenbaba, feel free to reach out again if and when you want to.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Zenbaba]

Thank you for your reply. I don't feel like seeing a psychologist as I don't feel I've got anything left to say if that makes sense? Especially with my husband, I've gone over and over it that many times I just can't see the point in giving it any more oxygen.

Hope that makes sense.

My biggest struggle at the moment is that I wake at about 4am and have constant anxiety and repetitive thoughts. Im exhausted so I don't want to get up, but I can't get back to sleep. By the time I do get up, I feel terrible.

[IreneM]

HI Zenbaba

I, too, am just another person who has suffered from many Post-traumatic events. Like Pamela I have also experienced the benefits of talking to professionals. But am now at the stage where I need to manage these issues myself and just need to be taught how.

If you are also at that stage try: www.mindspot.org.au

There are also many other threads on this forum on "Mindfulness." Just use the search bar at the top of the site. This will also give you other ideas on how to control your symptoms until your medication kicks in.

Have you also checked out the LOOK AFTER YOURSELF link below? Well worth a look.

All of these have helped me.

Take Care.

Irene.