Strategies for coping with racist behaviour

[Emmen]

Hello everybody,

With coronavirus, there has been a spike in racist behaviour against people of Asian ethnicity in Australia. I’m sure there are people in our community who have been on the receiving end of such behaviour. You may also be Indigenous or of other ethnicities, struggling with the emotional impact of racism directed against you over the years. This could include anxiety, depression and reduced sense of self-worth. I though we could open up this forum as a way of sharing coping strategies when facing prejudiced behaviour.

I’ll start by listing some ideas:

• Build a network of people around you who can make you feel good about yourself
• Identify the behaviours that have led you to internalise the idea that you are 'not good enough' for society and work on accepting yourself as you are
• Reminding yourself that the actions/words of racist people stem from their own insecurity rather than you

What are your strategies?

For those seeking more information on racism, its impacts and what you can do about it, here are some links that can help.

BB article: Respond to racism (https://www.beyondblue.org.au/who-does-it-affect/the-invisible-discriminator/respond-to-racism)
BB campaign: The Invisible Discriminator (https://www.beyondblue.org.au/who-does-it-affect/the-invisible-discriminator)
BB article: Educate yourself about racism (https://www.beyondblue.org.au/who-does-it-affect/the-invisible-discriminator/educate-yourself-about-...)
Forum thread: Racism (https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/racism#qgLmI3HzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A)

Sending love,
M

[Not_so_hot]

Em, I didn't see your post while I was writing mine. 100%. Your approach is the only one that has ever worked for me. Telling people how it makes me feel to hear them speaking that way, about anybody. Opening up with honesty at a very basic level. It hurts me. It hurts them. It hurts society. It hurts the world. Please will you stop?

Even with people who don't know me, if I am so deeply saddened (again) at what is going on and express it truthfully without blame, although this has only happened a handful of times in my life. It seems to give people some chance to reconsider... I don't know. I hope for everyone that we all grow a bit.

[Guest_1643]

Hey Not so Hot -
I've had a rough few days but am pushing on, thank u for asking. How are you?
Telling people they're racist hasn't seemed to hit the right spot - I like the idea to step away from the racism and say in what way it's offensive (maybe they can digsest that better).

It is insensitive to say that a whole group of people from one country have the same beliefs... It was also ignorant and incorrect. I didn't share that view he was making fun of - how could he judge a whole nation by a handful of neighbours he didn't get along with?

I laughed about your friend and can understand that it was hard for me to actually admit he'd learnt from u. But he did! i guess there is a subtle and warm way to educate.

I wander if this 70 year old man now hates people like me more than ever lol (beside his one friend)

He certainly hated me when I was done with him. I hadn't been faced with that completely before but next time I'll try be more subtle and generous. I could assume he was ignorant, I guess. I was scared because he was a university professor. He probably had to grade, tutor and mentor people of all races and I hope he didn't discriminate against people who didn't meet his idea of polite, white and - basically, like him.

[Not_so_hot]

Same, been a tricky few days, way too much stress, but still kicking and cracking jokes.

A university professor... You know they studied eugenics at university not so long ago, definitely while that fella was alive, so you can expect some archaic attitudes to surface around those establishments. 😉

Just gonna take this opportunity to thank you, and this forum, everyone on it. I realised today that I have come a long way in a relatively short time by reading my first post and checking that against how I feel most of the time now. I am just more in touch with and welcoming of the information my feelings provide. More comfortable with mistakes and reversing out of dead ends because they all add to experience which aids growth which makes life so much more joyous. I have remembered how to experiment with approaches and solutions. I have remembered I wouldn't have been born if nature didn't intend it.

Not much has changed daily except how I process events and responses. Just a big database of possibilities, oh this response might not fit here, probably fits somewhere else, store that, balance myself, wait for the next moment. I am still kind of sad, but it's neither a mystery nor a burden. Just something I will see change when the growing is ripe.

Peace, my friend and thank you. Love your posts. Really can relate.

[Not_so_hot]

Yes Sleepy21, listening more closely for what the person is really communicating. I have had to learn this with my own thoughts when they go a bit wild. In that way, if you can clarify the real issue, what's bothering him (annoying neighbours) the racism can be addressed as a matter of an inappropriate or an unhelpful approach to reach a solution. It's actually an impediment to reaching a solution. Speaking of sleepy...

Goodnight

[Not_so_hot]

My sincere apologies, blondguy. I will depart.

[Guest_1584]

lt'd depend to what state your in like any country has different people and attitudes in different parts bc l do know some from what l've heard are far worse and l always feel terrible and ashamed to know that some people are going through this sort of thing , and it disgusts me.

l can only say that it def' isn't the norm l grew up in a very multicultural area and people were just people so l'd suggest if you happen to be in one of those others l can't mention them and they no doubt have many great and beautiful people in them too buttt, if it's a problem maybe move , it could change your life.

[Guest_1643]

hi Not so Hot - please don't feel u have to depart! we're here for u as you had been for me just an hour ago!

I want to find that Lucy cartoon and frame it.

She was always my fave peanuts character. She was bossy and unlikable lol but so so confident and had such self-love!

I liked her and Peppermint Patty, who constantly got Dminuses.

[Guest_1643]

rx totally agree it's very very different

Some areas are very unwelcoming to different races.
I actually moved last year because I was frustrated with living in such a close-minded area.
I don't know if I wholly succeeded - the area I'm in now is still not so open-minded. But it's a step better. You can feel it in the air.
I personally can feel it in the atmosphere in one second when I enter a place/suburb work its streets - if it's an open vibe or one that's closed and judgemental.
I guess I don't feel comfortable in those stuffy neighborhoods you mentioned.
I grew up there and was made to feel poor and less -than. You're right it can change your mindset to realise you're just like everyone else. And good enough.

[Guest_1584]

Yep for sure sleepy. l'm actually moving from here bc l just don't fit in. lt's a shame but l've always known and nothings changed . l really don;t have another move left but l know it never will if l stay.

[Not_so_hot]

If you watch the news or speak to a lot of chinese people you would not need to be repeating the typical denials that Aussies aren't capable of being racist or that it's unlikely. You are welcome to disagree with my experience of hearing people go on and on about chinese people being responsible for coronavirus, but it's not an opinion. I feel ashamed and humiliated that your mental health is more important than mine and thus I must speak in euphemisms or something, I don't know, that I must disguise what happens and pretend everyone is lovely.

I am an Aussie too, you know, although I feel very unwelcome at this point and will not return to this forum for nonconstructive criticism that requires me to read between the lines and guess at what you are trying to communicate. I have so many impossible feelings right now. I am horrified that you think I would try to upset people. I am the gentlest person but I am under such daily stress. I am devastated by your response, Paul. I wish you much peace and will no longer attempt to speak plainly with those of your predisposition.