Multicultural experiences

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Chris_B Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section, a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. beyondblue acknowledges and respects the diversity of communities across Australia, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islande... View more

Hi everyone, Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section, a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. beyondblue acknowledges and respects the diversity of communities across Australia, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the First Australians. beyondblue also recognises the complexities of identity and that people may identify with more than one community. Depression, anxiety and suicide can affect any of us at any time – regardless of our culture or background. We also know that a range of factors can make it harder for people in some communities to seek and access support. This section is for members born overseas, are the children of parents born overseas, have a language other than English as your primary language, or come from a family with mixed cultural heritage. Please be aware that posts in this forum may contain discussions of suicide, self-harm and/or traumatic life events. As per our community rules, please be mindful when posting about the level of detail you share on these topics as it can be upsetting for other members. We look forward to hearing your stories. Become a Multicultural Correspondent Are you from a culturally and linguistically diverse (CALD) background? Are you interested in being a regular contributor to this section? We are seeking members who will actively participate in discussions and start up new threads on topics of interest to CALD communities (6-10 quality posts per week). Please get in touch with our team to discuss.

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JazzK I want to smile so badley
  • replies: 29

I havent smiles in a long while and i cant remember how i laugh. Last time i did both it felt good but when u get questioned so u feel quitly what you have done has put me in such a dark spot which should be ther best years of my life. My main issues... View more

I havent smiles in a long while and i cant remember how i laugh. Last time i did both it felt good but when u get questioned so u feel quitly what you have done has put me in such a dark spot which should be ther best years of my life. My main issues are partner relationship problems but as of recent the one person i thought i could say anything too my bestfriend has gone mental at me and blaming me for conveying a story of the past and that vrought up issues for her which i was the rebound. Its so hard t9 not be able to talk to anyone. When i get yelled at or put down i just feel like self harming. The thoughts are there but never since being a newly mother i havent self harmed. My partner priotises his friends and addictions and ditches me even when it comes to family friends. I had so many chats saying i just want to be loved and i want his company. Being a mum i dont want to be a huge social butterfly as i want to be a family too. I just want therr to be a balance. I strongly believe people need space and have timr to themselve or friends but when its so much from his side i just feel like a only parent. Theres so much on my mind i just want to be able to smile and be happy again. Im not confortable in my skin anymore and sometimes i jist dont want to be on earth anymore. Thankfully ny daughter has a beautiful energy and surrounds me with love and pure white light. Can anyone help me. Im so lonely i just want to speak to anyone

Chelsea95 Who am I?
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My mother’s family is from the UK and my father who I have never met nor have any knowledge about is Cambodian. I find it extremely hard to answer questions about my family and heritage when people ask about my father as I no nothing about him. It ma... View more

My mother’s family is from the UK and my father who I have never met nor have any knowledge about is Cambodian. I find it extremely hard to answer questions about my family and heritage when people ask about my father as I no nothing about him. It make feel so embarrassed as if it’s my fault he is not in my life and I know people judge me for not knowing. I always get the comments ‘surely you know something’ or ‘what do you mean you don’t know him’ which makes it worse. Even as a young child I can still remember sitting in class and the whole class room telling me I have to be adopted because my mums white and I’m not, I never even questioned my appearance or where I came from until that day. As I grow up it tends to affect me more and more, not only personally but my relationships too. I don’t know how to deal with the embarrassment of not knowing where i come from. Or how to handle people’s racism towards me until they see my mother because she’s white

Jay___J Loving someone with depression but in denial.
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Hi everyone. I am Jay, I am a nursing student. This is the first time I’m talking in a forum about my gf. So i been with my gf for 7 months now. She has been very depressed for more than a month now. Last week she said she don’t want a relationship a... View more

Hi everyone. I am Jay, I am a nursing student. This is the first time I’m talking in a forum about my gf. So i been with my gf for 7 months now. She has been very depressed for more than a month now. Last week she said she don’t want a relationship and wanted to break up and she sees me as a friend now. I really love her and i wanna support her. But at times it is just hard for me to take things personally. Btw we both are 20. She is a first year nursing student and i am a second year. She’s really struggling with her uni. I always support with her studies. I wanna support her with her mental health but she’s in denial. I have read the DSM-5 and i feel like she has like 6 symptoms of major depressive disorder. She has some trauma in her childhood. Talking about risk factors she has a lot of risk factors. Her dad have suffered from anxiety and depression and is on medications at times. Her parents are very unsupportive. We are indians and indian parents just don’t get mental illness. She never seen a professional before. Medically she’s suffering from postural hypotension and bad migraine. I have talked and pushed her to see a professional which is why she is not talking to me these days. I worry about Her a lot. I actually don’t know what to do. She’s always negative, she thinks her no one likes her. She’s not hopeful, unmotivated, stressed, panicking at times, excessive crying everyday, gets upset with simple things. And sometimes everything is upsetting for her. She’s not socially withdrawing because she don’t others to know she’s depressed. She doesn’t really have too much suicidal thoughts but have a had in the past, also she used to self-harm in the past but not now. I remember she telling me about these same feelings two years ago. I really wanna be supporting but idk what to do. I really want her to see professional. But she doesn’t wanna talk to me or a professional. I always tell her that i will be there for her but she doesn’t care, she often say I’m just a friend to her. I don’t know what to do.. i wanna really help that’s all i know now . Can someone help me please give me some advice..

Trenty994 Rocky Early Childhood affecting my ability to connect with people?
  • replies: 2

Hi, I'm 25 years old from New Zealand, I was born there in Nelson , South Island. My Biological Father was from Nelson, New Zealand and my Biological Mother from Taree, Australia. He was a carpenter and she was a seamstress, from what I know. They go... View more

Hi, I'm 25 years old from New Zealand, I was born there in Nelson , South Island. My Biological Father was from Nelson, New Zealand and my Biological Mother from Taree, Australia. He was a carpenter and she was a seamstress, from what I know. They got married in Nelson , New Zealand, then had five kids total. Us kids were all made state wards of New Zealand (so our parent is the court/law) and put into care before eventually being put into our adoptive families. Our adoptive families are amazing and gave us amazing lives, we were treated like princes. They continue to. I haven't really talked about this, only with a few people who where directly involved. The only thing that I wonder about is why we had so little contact with any of our blood family when most of our maternal blood relatives were alive in Australia. I remember once when I was kid we got some Aussie beach towels from our Australian grandparents and a cassette with Grandad's singing but that's all the contact I remember. I got a phone call when I was 19 yo from my Auntie in Australia who said a lot about custody challenges my Australian family had with the New Zealand Government. I made a trip at 20 years old ish, to Taree, AU, to see some of my Australian Family and one of my Aunties said after they could no longer continue to follow the legal channels for custody of us kids she had fostered over 40 something foster kids. There's a lot I haven't put in this thread but I'm just wondering if not having more contact with my blood relatives and Australian Heritage during youth is making it difficult for me to connect with people now as a semi- young adult? Any advice would be nice, Thanks for taking the time to read my thread, Trent

JaimieS Any single mums out there with migration background and no family support?
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Hi all, I am looking to connect with people how are in this situation. I am in addition part of the LGBTQ group. I would be happy to hear from you. Please reach out. :)

Hi all, I am looking to connect with people how are in this situation. I am in addition part of the LGBTQ group. I would be happy to hear from you. Please reach out. :)

ScarlettR Does my Irish roots make me a foreigner in Australia?
  • replies: 8

First, I am not trolling or upset or venting. I'm cool about it and am quite curious. My mum is a immigrant from the UK - her father was English, and her mother was Irish. My dad is Anglo-Australian - meaning his ancestors migrated to Australia from ... View more

First, I am not trolling or upset or venting. I'm cool about it and am quite curious. My mum is a immigrant from the UK - her father was English, and her mother was Irish. My dad is Anglo-Australian - meaning his ancestors migrated to Australia from Kent, England, in the early 1800s, not as convicts but as free settlers. So my ethnic makeup is 50% Anglo-Australian, 25% Irish and 25% English. So my main issue is that I've always struggled to make friends since the age of 10. It's like, starting at age 10 at school, the other kids stopped talking to me or having anything to do with me, and I would walk the schoolyard on my own during recess and lunch, feeling absolutely foolish and confused and upset. This didn't happen in just one school, but in at least three primary schools I went to, plus the first few years of high school. I don't know if it was because of my partial Irish background that set me different from the other Aussies? Someone commented that I have an American terminology/ way of speaking that is different from how Aussies speak and socialise. Being octracised and friendless for years put mental toll on me and I've been struggling with mental illness for years. It doesn't help that my parents don't have any friends themselves, and their own respective families have estranged them.

Guest_435 I'm kind of jealous with Chinese international students at my school
  • replies: 5

I'm Vietnamese student, studying and living in Australia since 2017. I love the country, with so much opportunities offered, superb environments and people. I attended to high school at Year 10, and Australian students are friendly to me. I was lucky... View more

I'm Vietnamese student, studying and living in Australia since 2017. I love the country, with so much opportunities offered, superb environments and people. I attended to high school at Year 10, and Australian students are friendly to me. I was lucky that my English was decent, thanks to huge support from my parents back in Vietnam. When I was at Year 11, I took notice of some international Chinese students. Some were coming here to study aboard, while others actually settle down to live in Australia. There are a few older than me, and a few at the same age as me. I have an English class with many international students, and I managed to befriend with 2 of them, one girl and boy, both from mainland China who now live in Australia. One of them is from Beijing. He was a tall dude, loves basketball and really friendly. His studies skills are also amazing as well, as he was chosen from my city to represent my school to receive an award for his studies achievement. The girl is nice as well. While she doesn't stand out as the guy, she is really charismastic and friendly, and she has even more friends than me, both Chinese and Australians. Her English is supberb as well. I wasn't as lucky as them. I'm the only one ethnically from Vietnam at my school, so I don't have the luxury of speaking Vietnamese to my teachers. There are Chinese teachers at my school, speaking Mandarin and even teaching Chinese at my school as well. When I saw the students and teachers talking in Mandarin, I can't help but find a bit left out. When I was Vietnam, I never have this feeling. Seeing these teachers makes me feel familiar, but also unfamiliar. They seemed to have a lot of fun talking, and I wish maybe I could engage somehow. But it never happened. I sometimes hangout with Australian friends of mine, but some have left high school, and some are busy with their studies. Chinese international students have more freedom with their studies and less pressure, and this more like a fun study tour for them, than actual schooling. Seeing them having a good time like that makes me feel kinda jealous of them. Sometimes, I would often feel a bit down, questioning while it's not like that for me. I don't really think that feeling jealous is a good thing, but I can't help but often wish my life was a bit more like them. What should I really do to help myself? Thanks!

aldamro7 Need Help Taking the 1st Step
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hi all hope youre well...im in Oz on a visa and do not have health insurance or medicare. while ive had mental health issues my whole life, the past few years have gotten out of control. i rarely leave the house and have stopped talking to my family.... View more

hi all hope youre well...im in Oz on a visa and do not have health insurance or medicare. while ive had mental health issues my whole life, the past few years have gotten out of control. i rarely leave the house and have stopped talking to my family. i feel like a different person and im afraid its going to get worse and i wont be able to pull myself out. my current plan was to reach out to local GP's and ask for prices on consultations. but i guess ill have to let the secretary know its about mental health? ive been lucky to not have needed to go to doctors or hospital whilst im here but unlucky bc now i will have to tell a stranger about whats going on in my head. then he'll potentially say i need a psychiatrist and the circle starts again where i have to reach out and call for prices and retell the psychiatrist my issues. this is sooo intimidating. i dont even know if its anxiety/depression or psychosis/bipolar... what if im incorrectly diagnosed? or just sent away because these issues are just in my head... i want to feel normal again and be, not even happy, just content for once. howd your first visit go? anything i can prepare for? how do i know what to tell the dr and what is tmi .. any help is greatly, greatly appreciated sorry for any typos and all my run on sentences

foreigner_in_AU Foreigner feeling like a foreigner
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Hello there, I came several years ago from South America, I am a 40 yo gay male, I am single and I feel extremely lonely sometimes... I do not have a partner, but I suffer from depression and anxiety too I never felt Australia like my real home, but ... View more

Hello there, I came several years ago from South America, I am a 40 yo gay male, I am single and I feel extremely lonely sometimes... I do not have a partner, but I suffer from depression and anxiety too I never felt Australia like my real home, but I feel I got used to live here in a way, I am so confused. If you came from overseas, do you feel you do not belong here? How do you feel living in Australia? I am desperate for help and need a chat PLEASE. Thank you

lovelcat Having mental health issue over and over again
  • replies: 3

As an international student from Asia, I have been fighting against it for a very long time. When I started my bachelor degree in the US at the age of 18, I easily got lost. It was very tough for me to get used to the new environment and culture. Plu... View more

As an international student from Asia, I have been fighting against it for a very long time. When I started my bachelor degree in the US at the age of 18, I easily got lost. It was very tough for me to get used to the new environment and culture. Plus, language was a big issue for someone like me who merely passed the TOEFL test. I am a quiet guy and like to stay alone. I was scared of everything there because I don't know how to deal with all of them and did not really have any friends and support. I stopped going to class and failed all of them. I finally sought help after I was told about the decision of suspension. I was diagnosed with depression, stayed in hospital for weeks and took medications. Then everything seemed back to normal after I got out. I made some good friend and gain very nice grades in my courses. But when it comes to my third year of study, my parents wanted me to apply for a master degree, and they did not know my previous health condition. I wasn't really ready for this upcoming big decision. I was scared of showing my past to schools and others. I didn't know how to explain to my family so I escaped from reality again. This time, it hurt me greater and I spent 2 years wasting time on lying and escaping, But I have to face the truth and tell my family everything. It should've been only a year left if I didn't take the step back but in fact, it cost me 3 more years. My parents forgave me, I know they were really disappointed, but they cared about me more. I was feeling extremely guilty for letting them down. I met with counsellors and psychologists many times and finally with my mom's accompany with me for my last semester, I was able to graduate. I thought the nightmare was over. I returned to my home country and found a job in the biggest city. It wasn't a very bad job but it did not have any future expectations. I feel like a bachelor degree isn't enough for the cost of living in a big city, and I couldn't even gain back the investment my parents put on me. Studying abroad is a huge expense. Hence, the whole family decided to send me to Au for a master degree. And the nightmare came back. Every time I tried to look retrospectively, it made me irritated and anxious. I am always thinking that I am a failure in the past, so I won't be able to succeed in the future. The cost of living I mentioned above keeps pushing me back. And I failed/withdraw a lot of courses again. I really don't know how to get over it.