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Chris_B Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section, a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. beyondblue acknowledges and respects the diversity of communities across Australia, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islande... View more

Hi everyone, Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section, a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. beyondblue acknowledges and respects the diversity of communities across Australia, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the First Australians. beyondblue also recognises the complexities of identity and that people may identify with more than one community. Depression, anxiety and suicide can affect any of us at any time – regardless of our culture or background. We also know that a range of factors can make it harder for people in some communities to seek and access support. This section is for members born overseas, are the children of parents born overseas, have a language other than English as your primary language, or come from a family with mixed cultural heritage. Please be aware that posts in this forum may contain discussions of suicide, self-harm and/or traumatic life events. As per our community rules, please be mindful when posting about the level of detail you share on these topics as it can be upsetting for other members. We look forward to hearing your stories. Become a Multicultural Correspondent Are you from a culturally and linguistically diverse (CALD) background? Are you interested in being a regular contributor to this section? We are seeking members who will actively participate in discussions and start up new threads on topics of interest to CALD communities (6-10 quality posts per week). Please get in touch with our team to discuss.

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Trenty994 Rocky Early Childhood affecting my ability to connect with people?
  • replies: 2

Hi, I'm 25 years old from New Zealand, I was born there in Nelson , South Island. My Biological Father was from Nelson, New Zealand and my Biological Mother from Taree, Australia. He was a carpenter and she was a seamstress, from what I know. They go... View more

Hi, I'm 25 years old from New Zealand, I was born there in Nelson , South Island. My Biological Father was from Nelson, New Zealand and my Biological Mother from Taree, Australia. He was a carpenter and she was a seamstress, from what I know. They got married in Nelson , New Zealand, then had five kids total. Us kids were all made state wards of New Zealand (so our parent is the court/law) and put into care before eventually being put into our adoptive families. Our adoptive families are amazing and gave us amazing lives, we were treated like princes. They continue to. I haven't really talked about this, only with a few people who where directly involved. The only thing that I wonder about is why we had so little contact with any of our blood family when most of our maternal blood relatives were alive in Australia. I remember once when I was kid we got some Aussie beach towels from our Australian grandparents and a cassette with Grandad's singing but that's all the contact I remember. I got a phone call when I was 19 yo from my Auntie in Australia who said a lot about custody challenges my Australian family had with the New Zealand Government. I made a trip at 20 years old ish, to Taree, AU, to see some of my Australian Family and one of my Aunties said after they could no longer continue to follow the legal channels for custody of us kids she had fostered over 40 something foster kids. There's a lot I haven't put in this thread but I'm just wondering if not having more contact with my blood relatives and Australian Heritage during youth is making it difficult for me to connect with people now as a semi- young adult? Any advice would be nice, Thanks for taking the time to read my thread, Trent

JaimieS Any single mums out there with migration background and no family support?
  • replies: 1

Hi all, I am looking to connect with people how are in this situation. I am in addition part of the LGBTQ group. I would be happy to hear from you. Please reach out. :)

Hi all, I am looking to connect with people how are in this situation. I am in addition part of the LGBTQ group. I would be happy to hear from you. Please reach out. :)

ScarlettR Does my Irish roots make me a foreigner in Australia?
  • replies: 8

First, I am not trolling or upset or venting. I'm cool about it and am quite curious. My mum is a immigrant from the UK - her father was English, and her mother was Irish. My dad is Anglo-Australian - meaning his ancestors migrated to Australia from ... View more

First, I am not trolling or upset or venting. I'm cool about it and am quite curious. My mum is a immigrant from the UK - her father was English, and her mother was Irish. My dad is Anglo-Australian - meaning his ancestors migrated to Australia from Kent, England, in the early 1800s, not as convicts but as free settlers. So my ethnic makeup is 50% Anglo-Australian, 25% Irish and 25% English. So my main issue is that I've always struggled to make friends since the age of 10. It's like, starting at age 10 at school, the other kids stopped talking to me or having anything to do with me, and I would walk the schoolyard on my own during recess and lunch, feeling absolutely foolish and confused and upset. This didn't happen in just one school, but in at least three primary schools I went to, plus the first few years of high school. I don't know if it was because of my partial Irish background that set me different from the other Aussies? Someone commented that I have an American terminology/ way of speaking that is different from how Aussies speak and socialise. Being octracised and friendless for years put mental toll on me and I've been struggling with mental illness for years. It doesn't help that my parents don't have any friends themselves, and their own respective families have estranged them.

Guest_435 I'm kind of jealous with Chinese international students at my school
  • replies: 5

I'm Vietnamese student, studying and living in Australia since 2017. I love the country, with so much opportunities offered, superb environments and people. I attended to high school at Year 10, and Australian students are friendly to me. I was lucky... View more

I'm Vietnamese student, studying and living in Australia since 2017. I love the country, with so much opportunities offered, superb environments and people. I attended to high school at Year 10, and Australian students are friendly to me. I was lucky that my English was decent, thanks to huge support from my parents back in Vietnam. When I was at Year 11, I took notice of some international Chinese students. Some were coming here to study aboard, while others actually settle down to live in Australia. There are a few older than me, and a few at the same age as me. I have an English class with many international students, and I managed to befriend with 2 of them, one girl and boy, both from mainland China who now live in Australia. One of them is from Beijing. He was a tall dude, loves basketball and really friendly. His studies skills are also amazing as well, as he was chosen from my city to represent my school to receive an award for his studies achievement. The girl is nice as well. While she doesn't stand out as the guy, she is really charismastic and friendly, and she has even more friends than me, both Chinese and Australians. Her English is supberb as well. I wasn't as lucky as them. I'm the only one ethnically from Vietnam at my school, so I don't have the luxury of speaking Vietnamese to my teachers. There are Chinese teachers at my school, speaking Mandarin and even teaching Chinese at my school as well. When I saw the students and teachers talking in Mandarin, I can't help but find a bit left out. When I was Vietnam, I never have this feeling. Seeing these teachers makes me feel familiar, but also unfamiliar. They seemed to have a lot of fun talking, and I wish maybe I could engage somehow. But it never happened. I sometimes hangout with Australian friends of mine, but some have left high school, and some are busy with their studies. Chinese international students have more freedom with their studies and less pressure, and this more like a fun study tour for them, than actual schooling. Seeing them having a good time like that makes me feel kinda jealous of them. Sometimes, I would often feel a bit down, questioning while it's not like that for me. I don't really think that feeling jealous is a good thing, but I can't help but often wish my life was a bit more like them. What should I really do to help myself? Thanks!

aldamro7 Need Help Taking the 1st Step
  • replies: 1

hi all hope youre well...im in Oz on a visa and do not have health insurance or medicare. while ive had mental health issues my whole life, the past few years have gotten out of control. i rarely leave the house and have stopped talking to my family.... View more

hi all hope youre well...im in Oz on a visa and do not have health insurance or medicare. while ive had mental health issues my whole life, the past few years have gotten out of control. i rarely leave the house and have stopped talking to my family. i feel like a different person and im afraid its going to get worse and i wont be able to pull myself out. my current plan was to reach out to local GP's and ask for prices on consultations. but i guess ill have to let the secretary know its about mental health? ive been lucky to not have needed to go to doctors or hospital whilst im here but unlucky bc now i will have to tell a stranger about whats going on in my head. then he'll potentially say i need a psychiatrist and the circle starts again where i have to reach out and call for prices and retell the psychiatrist my issues. this is sooo intimidating. i dont even know if its anxiety/depression or psychosis/bipolar... what if im incorrectly diagnosed? or just sent away because these issues are just in my head... i want to feel normal again and be, not even happy, just content for once. howd your first visit go? anything i can prepare for? how do i know what to tell the dr and what is tmi .. any help is greatly, greatly appreciated sorry for any typos and all my run on sentences

foreigner_in_AU Foreigner feeling like a foreigner
  • replies: 3

Hello there, I came several years ago from South America, I am a 40 yo gay male, I am single and I feel extremely lonely sometimes... I do not have a partner, but I suffer from depression and anxiety too I never felt Australia like my real home, but ... View more

Hello there, I came several years ago from South America, I am a 40 yo gay male, I am single and I feel extremely lonely sometimes... I do not have a partner, but I suffer from depression and anxiety too I never felt Australia like my real home, but I feel I got used to live here in a way, I am so confused. If you came from overseas, do you feel you do not belong here? How do you feel living in Australia? I am desperate for help and need a chat PLEASE. Thank you

lovelcat Having mental health issue over and over again
  • replies: 3

As an international student from Asia, I have been fighting against it for a very long time. When I started my bachelor degree in the US at the age of 18, I easily got lost. It was very tough for me to get used to the new environment and culture. Plu... View more

As an international student from Asia, I have been fighting against it for a very long time. When I started my bachelor degree in the US at the age of 18, I easily got lost. It was very tough for me to get used to the new environment and culture. Plus, language was a big issue for someone like me who merely passed the TOEFL test. I am a quiet guy and like to stay alone. I was scared of everything there because I don't know how to deal with all of them and did not really have any friends and support. I stopped going to class and failed all of them. I finally sought help after I was told about the decision of suspension. I was diagnosed with depression, stayed in hospital for weeks and took medications. Then everything seemed back to normal after I got out. I made some good friend and gain very nice grades in my courses. But when it comes to my third year of study, my parents wanted me to apply for a master degree, and they did not know my previous health condition. I wasn't really ready for this upcoming big decision. I was scared of showing my past to schools and others. I didn't know how to explain to my family so I escaped from reality again. This time, it hurt me greater and I spent 2 years wasting time on lying and escaping, But I have to face the truth and tell my family everything. It should've been only a year left if I didn't take the step back but in fact, it cost me 3 more years. My parents forgave me, I know they were really disappointed, but they cared about me more. I was feeling extremely guilty for letting them down. I met with counsellors and psychologists many times and finally with my mom's accompany with me for my last semester, I was able to graduate. I thought the nightmare was over. I returned to my home country and found a job in the biggest city. It wasn't a very bad job but it did not have any future expectations. I feel like a bachelor degree isn't enough for the cost of living in a big city, and I couldn't even gain back the investment my parents put on me. Studying abroad is a huge expense. Hence, the whole family decided to send me to Au for a master degree. And the nightmare came back. Every time I tried to look retrospectively, it made me irritated and anxious. I am always thinking that I am a failure in the past, so I won't be able to succeed in the future. The cost of living I mentioned above keeps pushing me back. And I failed/withdraw a lot of courses again. I really don't know how to get over it.

notanon Lonely. What else I could try?
  • replies: 14

I'm an international student in Australia. I came here alone when I was 17 and don't know anyone here. At first, I chat and regularly video call with my friends back in my country, however after a few months, group chat died down and there are no new... View more

I'm an international student in Australia. I came here alone when I was 17 and don't know anyone here. At first, I chat and regularly video call with my friends back in my country, however after a few months, group chat died down and there are no new messages. I'm the eldest in my family, and growing up, I wasn't able to rely on my family much as my siblings rely on me. I need to keep up this facade of a strong sister and set example for them. I went to a psychologist and she told me to try and join clubs. So I tried joining club, I made friends. But it's like we go club gathering once a week, talk, and outside gathering, me and other club members are like semi-strangers. Since coming to Australia, 2 years now, I've spent every single day eating my lunch alone. Doing homework (minus forced group projects) alone. and when loneliness hits the peak, I search and start playing online games and making online friends which help me a lot. But a part of me still feels empty and sad. I decided to try consult my best friend, what she said translates to 'Your depression is not real', and she probably meant that I do not have clinical depression. I don't know anymore what to do. My accommodation is walking distance to campus and a grocery store. These past months, I've just been to 3 places, bedroom, grocery and campus. I haven't went to shopping center, or go do anything else. All I do is play online game with my friends. I can't sleep at night, cos I'm afraid tomorrow will come and I'll eat alone again. In the morning I often don't want to wake up and deal with life. The only conversation I had these past few weeks are with cashiers as I've been skipping club gatherings. I just received an email telling me I did not have enough attendance for a unit and automatically failed it. I'm not sure what else I could try and do to cope with this loneliness. Online game and daydreaming is the only thing for me right now.

Wandering_Soul Desperate to find work when you are over 50 and Asian
  • replies: 11

I have sent over 100 job applications, but Perth job market is really bad and I don't have the means to move interstate for better job opportunities. I applied for both paid, traineeship and volunteer work. In sectors from aged care support to mining... View more

I have sent over 100 job applications, but Perth job market is really bad and I don't have the means to move interstate for better job opportunities. I applied for both paid, traineeship and volunteer work. In sectors from aged care support to mining to management roles. I have a postgrad degree and good work references. But it is not good enough because of my bad networking. I had 5 job interviews but not the selected candidate. I was told many times of the competition. This has created a lot of anxiety and depression because my savings are running low and my debts are crippling me. Centrelink had rejected my claims because of my savings but that was a year ago. I was happy in the past when I get work to do.

Outside observing having a rough time of it
  • replies: 3

So I'm a 45 year old woman, half-asian/ half-white. Qualified doctor. Grew up in three different countires. Racist bullying in country towns in two of them. Never felt like I fit in. Anywhere. Have had opportunities to develop friendships but always ... View more

So I'm a 45 year old woman, half-asian/ half-white. Qualified doctor. Grew up in three different countires. Racist bullying in country towns in two of them. Never felt like I fit in. Anywhere. Have had opportunities to develop friendships but always shy away from them (I feel like on some deep level I'll be rejected so no point in trying). Have a partner who is lovely but sexual relationship hasn't existed in years and I feel guilty about that (and I must say, he is the only bright spot in my life). Recently burnt out at work and haven't worked since feb. Have had dysthymia most of my life with 3-4 dips into major depression. Been on antidepressents on and off and they help my mood but don't get rid of the underlying problem of not trusting others and completely destroy my libido. My parents are living in the country town I left as soon as I could. My sister lived there and got involved in an abusive relationship there. She is basically no contact with her ex and her (now adult) kids. There was really nasty racist abuse thrown at her. I don't really talk to her. She was really rejecting of me in my late teens and early 20s and part of me now thinks that this is because she felt she had to fit in with her little racist country town abusive family. My parents. My mother is really upset. She doesn't want to live in the little racist country town but feels she has to support my sister. She lost her own friends when we began moving around the world. My father just doesn't talk. He just keeps saying you have to live every day. Personally, I am really, really, angry at him. We didn't have to move between all those countries growing up. It was his selfish decision to keep moving that destroyed our lives. The thing is. He gets away with it. I've never confronted him. He gets away with it because he is such a quiet and passive person. But he has never ever taken responsibility. And he has never ever apologised. He won't. He'll just keep staying quiet and passive. My sister will just keep on being emotionally dysregulated. My mother will keep on being sad. And I'll keep on being lonely and depressed and lacking motivation and always thinking that I'll be this way forever and what's the point and even if I try everyone's going to hate me for something I can't control. L feel like one of those 'learned helplessness' dogs from those terrible experiments in the 1950s. What I need is a damn good psychologist. Sorry.I just needed to get this out to someone somewhere