I'm kind of jealous with Chinese international students at my school

Guest_435 · ‎02-05-2020

I'm Vietnamese student, studying and living in Australia since 2017. I love the country, with so much opportunities offered, superb environments and people. I attended to high school at Year 10, and Australian students are friendly to me. I was lucky that my English was decent, thanks to huge support from my parents back in Vietnam.
When I was at Year 11, I took notice of some international Chinese students. Some were coming here to study aboard, while others actually settle down to live in Australia. There are a few older than me, and a few at the same age as me. I have an English class with many international students, and I managed to befriend with 2 of them, one girl and boy, both from mainland China who now live in Australia. One of them is from Beijing. He was a tall dude, loves basketball and really friendly. His studies skills are also amazing as well, as he was chosen from my city to represent my school to receive an award for his studies achievement. The girl is nice as well. While she doesn't stand out as the guy, she is really charismastic and friendly, and she has even more friends than me, both Chinese and Australians. Her English is supberb as well.
I wasn't as lucky as them. I'm the only one ethnically from Vietnam at my school, so I don't have the luxury of speaking Vietnamese to my teachers. There are Chinese teachers at my school, speaking Mandarin and even teaching Chinese at my school as well. When I saw the students and teachers talking in Mandarin, I can't help but find a bit left out. When I was Vietnam, I never have this feeling. Seeing these teachers makes me feel familiar, but also unfamiliar. They seemed to have a lot of fun talking, and I wish maybe I could engage somehow. But it never happened.
I sometimes hangout with Australian friends of mine, but some have left high school, and some are busy with their studies. Chinese international students have more freedom with their studies and less pressure, and this more like a fun study tour for them, than actual schooling. Seeing them having a good time like that makes me feel kinda jealous of them. Sometimes, I would often feel a bit down, questioning while it's not like that for me.
I don't really think that feeling jealous is a good thing, but I can't help but often wish my life was a bit more like them. What should I really do to help myself? Thanks!

jess334 · ‎02-05-2020

Hi Guest_435,

It must be really difficult to not have anyone to talk to i Vietnamese, especially seeing other students chatting to each other in Chinese.

I don't think you being jealous of other students is a bad emotion. No emotions are bad really, its what we do in reaction to those emotions that matter.

Is there a Vitnamese youth group or extra curricular activity that you can do outside of school? It might help you find some friends who aren't so focused on their studies.

Of course right now everything would be online, but hopefully some of these groups have transitioned online.

Kind thoughts, Jess

missep123 · ‎02-05-2020

Hi Guest_435,

Thank you for sharing how you have been feeling! I think a lot of people can relate to this. How do you feel about the word 'admiring'? Do you think you admire the Chinese international students? I think your feelings of jealousy are completely valid though, it is a very human emotion. From personal experience, jealousy can be quite challenging. When I have felt jealous, I couldn't stop thinking about it! I then told myself that sometimes 'the grass seems greener on the other side'.

jess334's mention of a Vietnamese youth group or extra curricular activity sounds like they may be really good ideas! How do you feel about that?

Here for you!

Guest_435 · ‎03-05-2020

Hi, thanks for your reply. My area is in urban area, but there is not any Vietnamese youth group. One way that I would often try to diverse myself is to engage in something else, like watching netlfix or play some games. I sometimes also text some messages with my Australian friends. I guess that I need to accept my situation, and continue to move on.

Guest_435 · ‎03-05-2020

Hi, thanks for your reply. To me, the word 'admire' is really more positive the word 'jealousy', but also a bit uncomfortable. When I try to convince myself that I'm not jealous of them, but admire them, I feel more cheerful. But after sometime, I feel uncomfortable at the thoughts that I actually admire them. I'm convinced while their lives can be a bit better than mine, they're not necessarily better than me. I don't think that I am superior than them either. I just think they are, as a person, equal than me no more no less. I truly admire some Chinese people like Deng Xiao Ping, Jack Ma and even Tsai Sing Wen of Taiwan, but I don't admire students of my age. Is this a normal feeling?

missep123 · ‎03-05-2020

Guest_435,

I am really glad to hear that you don't think that they are better than you. I think admiring older individuals or celebrities is a very normal thing! For me, admiration can come from anywhere and can be towards anyone. I personally didn't admire anyone of my age but rather admired those who were older than me because I could see what they did or were doing and I could work towards that, if that makes sense!