Losing myself after marriage- due to restrictions from in- laws
Dear Priya C
I'll start by referring to Quirky and my posts to you in your previous thread:
Forums / Relationship and family issues / I feel stuck in my marriage, want to divorce my husband because of in-laws.
From the sound of it there seems to be an impasse, your husband wants to stay, you need to go, or at least have living conditions radically changed. simply being told that the in-laws were 'old fashioned' does not fairly set out the implications to someone without experience.
I have a fear that in time you will come to resent your husband as his priorities seem to put you last.
The only two options that come to mind are either leave, which would be sad, or both of you live elsewhere, but close enough to keep an eye on the in-laws.
Perhaps if you were to take a holiday back to your family it might help bring home the gravity of the situation to all concerned - do you think that might be possible?
I feel for you. Your situation sucks. What I would be setting are boundaries. You are not beholden to them, only your husband. And I think you need to stand up for yourself and make this clear to your in-laws. If you don’t feel like you could, discuss it with your husband and consider moving out/looking for houses near your in-laws. Every relationship needs healthy boundaries, and it’s up to you to set it, or it will be set by others for you. Hope this helps, wish you the very best in feeling yourself again.
Jellicle Cat x
Hi there. This happens in other countries too. I've met conservative European and Middle eastern people.
When you meet your in-laws you can do things differently and when you are by yourself, you can do things your way. Is this a possibility? Can you work this out with your husband? I wish you all the best in your married life.