Hello Doolhof, (and wave to Sam and everyone here),
Doolhof what you said in your post made me think of how our internal state of mind, our mood, emotions etc can definitely affect the way we see others and the world around us.
There are days where I avoid eye contact, my anxiety is skyrocketing or I am too depressed and drenched in sorrow and feel highly irritated. I may have not slept all night or have night terrors etc. At those times, small, otherwise insignificant things truly bother me and I cannot tolerate anybody or anything.
Other times, the same gestures, faces, places etc seem ok or even beautiful and I smile, talk, engage, and feel the world is a great place to be.
It truly depends on where we are at internally I think. We only see what we project.
We are aloud to feel. We can be moody and gloomy. It's ok to not be ok. It's abnormal for anyone to be ALWAYS happy or positive. We are humans. Bad things happen around us and often affect us directly or indirectly.
I've learnt to go with the flow. As when I'm joyful I do not question it or fight it or try to change it, I also accept that I am sorrowful at other times and again I do not need to know, to question, to try and change it.
I have come to accept myself, warts and all, and I understand that the moody, ugly, dark side of me, is actually also important and necessary and equally significant and beautiful in its own way.
No matter how good or bad; it changes. It always does. So I breathe and carry on...
