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BeyondBlue Hi! Read this if you are not sure what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section of the Beyond Blue Forums. Beyond Blue acknowledges and respects the diversity of communities across Australia, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the First Australians. Beyond B... View more

Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section of the Beyond Blue Forums. Beyond Blue acknowledges and respects the diversity of communities across Australia, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the First Australians. Beyond Blue also recognises the complexities of identity and that people may identify with more than one community. Depression, anxiety and suicide can affect any of us at any time – regardless of our culture or background. We also know that a range of factors can make it harder for people in some communities to seek and access support. This section is for members born overseas, are the children of parents born overseas, have a language other than English as your primary language, or come from a family with mixed cultural heritage and want a specific space to share their experience. Please be aware that posts on the Beyond Blue Forums may contain discussions of suicide, self-harm and/or traumatic life events. As per our Forums guidelines, please be mindful when posting about the level of detail you share on these topics as it can be upsetting for other members. We look forward to hearing your stories. Beyond Blue

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Rob13579 Difficulty in distinguishing between casual racism and a neutral comment
  • replies: 34

My father became an Australian citizen in his 20s during his studies; so I was an Australian citizen by descent when I was born. However, I was born and raised overseas until I was 13 years old and then I moved to Australia. I can speak English clear... View more

My father became an Australian citizen in his 20s during his studies; so I was an Australian citizen by descent when I was born. However, I was born and raised overseas until I was 13 years old and then I moved to Australia. I can speak English clearly most of the time when I am not tired or nervous, but I still have a foreign accent (as described by some people I have encountered over the past 9 years in Australia). Over the past 9 years, I have noticed that if I do not speak much, some people naturally assume that I do not speak or understand English well. I was in a seminar and there was a Mandarin translation service. After the seminar, an acquaintance at the time asked me whether the headphones worked properly. At the moment, I wondered whether it was because I looked Chinese to him (whom I had barely spoken with a week before the seminar) and that means I do not understand English? By the way, Chinese is a nationality and there are 56 ethnic groups in China. I gave 2 talks which were great according to the audience; however, both times after the talk, an acquaintance I have known for ~3 years said perfect or great English as a compliment. I said to myself, so an East Asian looking person or someone with a foreign accent does not generally speak English well? which is a speculation of mine. One time someone on the street thought I looked "Vietnamese" and said "hello" to me in Vietnamese as he explained. Another person I met for the first time at a train station was impressed by my English after he found out that I was born and raised overseas. Even friends (not close) asked me how could I speak good English because "many" "Chinese" people they know do not speak English as good as I do, or they said something similar to that. There are more experiences similar to the above examples. They all asked me "where are you from (originally)?" at some point. I sometimes struggle to answer that question because I do not know what they actually mean by "originally". I have been an Australian citizen since I was born in East Asia, so I am actually from Australia and East Asia? Or should I answer where I was born? I believe people who asked those questions or made those comments did not mean to offend anyone. They simply have not had many multicultural interactions in their lives due to all sort of reasons, or they are trying to be nice by making a compliment. However, I could not help but feel self-conscious because even today I still have similar experiences.

Donte Same sex marriage in culturally, linguistically and religious communities.
  • replies: 8

We have come a long way in Australia since homosexuality was decriminalised in 1981. Same sex marriage is now legal however many culturally and linguistically diverse communities have difficulty accepting this human rights issue. And so do most churc... View more

We have come a long way in Australia since homosexuality was decriminalised in 1981. Same sex marriage is now legal however many culturally and linguistically diverse communities have difficulty accepting this human rights issue. And so do most churches and religious organizations. There is a lot of stigma and shame and many gaps in communities to address the needs of the LGBTI non-English speaking or culturally diverse people. LGBTI people and their families in every community need resources that are designed to specifically address their concerns or issues. LGBTI people are an important, valuable and integral part of society and every community who have the right to peaceful, safe, happy. supportive lives and relationships. Culturally and linguistically diverse communities require special assistance, information, education, resources and support in embracing diversity and overcoming issues of resentment, fear, disgust, shame, hatred, confusion, shock, stigma and discrimination that in the past has been projected towards their LGBTI family members or loved ones. It’s time that we start to develop a better understanding and become more familiar with the issues affecting our LGBTI communities and their families within the various religious and cultural groups in order to help reduce discomfort, break down the stigma, reduce the risks of LGBTI individuals developing mental health issues, self-harming or even feeling so devastated at the lack of support that they even take their own lives. Luckily, lately there have been positive cultural, legal and societal shifts globally regarding the LGBTI community. It’s time for us to open our hearts, expand our minds, listen, learn and support our LGBTI non-English speaking communities. Gay and Lesbian Police Liaison Officers are based in over 100 police stations across Melbourne, have specific knowledge of LGBTI communities and are sensitive to the issues the different parts of the community face. GLLO’s deal with prejudice motivated crimes and incidents which are wholly or partly motivated by prejudice or hatred towards a person or group- because of particular characteristics including sexual orientation or gender identity. It is not illegal to live with or love someone from the same sex in Australia but it’s illegal to discriminate, harass or bully LGBTI people. What things do you need to challenge in your self, your family, your community or religious group in regards to LGBTI people?

Donte How dependent are you? Dependency on the system vs self-reliance.
  • replies: 6

This morning I woke up and the central heating in our building had broken down at some point during the night. When I turned on the shower, nothing but cold water was running for 20 mins. The heating is hydronic and I’m guessing that the two are rela... View more

This morning I woke up and the central heating in our building had broken down at some point during the night. When I turned on the shower, nothing but cold water was running for 20 mins. The heating is hydronic and I’m guessing that the two are related. Cold. Unable to shower. Started messaging my neighbors to see if their apartment is also affected. The whole building is down. Something with the main thermostat on the roof. Called the emergency number of our body corporate maintenance. Someone will look at it within 4 hours...better out some jumper on then and no shower this morning... This made me think of how dependent we are on the system. Unable to chop wood and start a fire, hunt and survive, relying on others for everything in our man-made society from food to transport to communication etc. The same attitude applies often to our health and our mental health. We rely on the system for diagnosis, prognosis, medication management etc. This is traditionally the western model of health care. There is nothing wrong with this. We all operate within this system which is there to support us. I’m just saying that in other eras and places perhaps things were different. What did people do then? How did they deal with crisis? What treatments were they exploring? I’d like to hear about things that work for you in managing your stress, anxiety, depression, panic and moods etc. Things that you’ve learnt while growing up or from others of similar background that you incorporate in your daily routines whether they’re endorsed by the western mental health model of care or not. Tell us your strategies. You may be able to help others along the way who may not be able to think outside the medical ‘square’ and rely solely on their doctors, medications and psychiatric or psychological interventions for their treatment.

future_ please talk to me on gold coast
  • replies: 25

ello, please can someone help me on the gold coast, its a suburb like any other, not that glamourous as people think. I don't even go to the beach after years when I was younger I have had enough of the beach, but can not move because of my teenagers... View more

ello, please can someone help me on the gold coast, its a suburb like any other, not that glamourous as people think. I don't even go to the beach after years when I was younger I have had enough of the beach, but can not move because of my teenagers life, little bit of family and few friends it will excelerate her despression. I am feeling so down it is so hard to get thru the day at one job I have absolutely nothing to do but sit and stare out the window until someone gives me a 5 minute job yet I am grateful I am employed so grateful becuase it keeps a roof over my and teenagers head. I am so low that I need a partner to go home to share, cuddle and feel needed for. please help me my teenager doesnt know how to handle it and closes themself in their room on internet. anyone on the gold coast i can met and live with to just enjoy a simple life please. warm regards from sam.

Maro My 11 y.o daughter is depressed
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone, great to be part of that online community group. My daughter is now in year 5. She has been diagnosed with social phobia and anxiety. It runs in her dad's family. She is struggling with her friendships at school. Can't talk up for her se... View more

Hi everyone, great to be part of that online community group. My daughter is now in year 5. She has been diagnosed with social phobia and anxiety. It runs in her dad's family. She is struggling with her friendships at school. Can't talk up for her self most of the time. Scared to tell the teacher. Plus started to be jealous of one of her best friends that led to losing . Teasing her little sister most of the time at home. Keep saying words like" I hate my life" is a concern to me and her dad. We always trying to support her. But the way she feels about herself is not great. Being born overseas ( we came Australia when she was 3 y.o)plus darker skin plus not being able to talk up and make a good speech butting her down. Any advice about how to handle that at home. Forgot to say we saw a psychologist before who helped a bit.

Stranded_and_lost don't know what to do
  • replies: 5

i don't know where to start, for as long as i remember my life had some or the other problem whether it be for my own life decisions or loss of my family members, i struggled but now my life is becoming unbearable, daily arguments and reminders of ho... View more

i don't know where to start, for as long as i remember my life had some or the other problem whether it be for my own life decisions or loss of my family members, i struggled but now my life is becoming unbearable, daily arguments and reminders of how i am worthless since i am sitting at home unemployed, cant do anything right, every conversation ends with blaming me for everything. i tried to find a way to get back to work but don't hear back from anywhere, my previous work experience doesn't matter its from another country. it feels hard to get past all that rejection and keep on applying with no confidence in myself. i don't have many friends here. probably i am the problem i am not good at anything but i have to keep on going for my two year old daughter..each day i think of running away from all this but i know i have nowhere to go. I regret coming here, i feel useless, lonely, miserable and lost. i don't know what to do

Hayfa anxious and depressed asylum seekers
  • replies: 13

Hello, One morning last week I came into work and was informed that my team and I had to work out of another space because the afternoon before, literally a few moments after we left the office to go home, a young asylum seeker had come into the offi... View more

Hello, One morning last week I came into work and was informed that my team and I had to work out of another space because the afternoon before, literally a few moments after we left the office to go home, a young asylum seeker had come into the office extremely distressed, upset and emotionally charged because the immigration authorities had ruled that he must go back home. I was told that the young man was very upset, he was saying that in his home country authorities were always deciding his fate and he had never been given choices. This story is very similar to the many situations that have been witnessed in our area of work, there have been people who have been in this same exact situation, desperate and angry. Oftentimes we don't always understand the full picture, the extreme anxiety, stress and depression of waiting for an outcome on where you can carry on being and living your life, everything is put on hold and your fate has to be decided for you. This made me realise how much the human spirit really can endure before the heart and mind declares that it has had enough. I know that everyone suffers physically, emotionally and mentally in differing degrees based on the situation and the individual's capacity to withstand levels of mental suffering and the bodies ability to physically endure illness. This reminded me of the saying ' there is always someone less fortunate than ourselves'. Has anyone had a difficult migration experience or know someone that has? What was the story and how did you or anyone you know cope? What was the outcome?

james1 functioning family vs loving family for kids
  • replies: 55

hello, I am not entirely sure where to post this, but i thought i'd put it here as my own lens is coloured (aha! i made a pun!) by my chinese experience. i'd like to hear what people think. none of the below is academically researched, just bits and ... View more

hello, I am not entirely sure where to post this, but i thought i'd put it here as my own lens is coloured (aha! i made a pun!) by my chinese experience. i'd like to hear what people think. none of the below is academically researched, just bits and pieces of what i've picked up in news and uni, so please feel free to dispute what i say the divorce rate has increased over the decades, in large part due to western values shifting away from traditional family values towards a focus on individual happiness. one difficulty which I experienced, and which many others have experienced, is that divorce is really really difficult for kids. even separation is difficult for kids. in my own chinese family, i think there is more of a focus on a functioning family rather than a loving family. if the family unit works, the people are expected to continue it. I am not entirely sure why, but I guess it is more practical. At least the child and family unit has certainty about the future and is stable. so i guess i'm really just putting it out there - are we doing the right thing by choosing love over what 'works'? in many cultures, people are told who to marry and are actually happier in their relationship later on. especially when you consider the effect of divorce on children, are we creating a breeding ground for mental illness by following our hearts and not our minds? I know we can do both, but all the rhetoric is to "go with your gut", "do what your heart says".

Reyman Good Morning Everyone - Hope everyone is doing good and on the path of recovery
  • replies: 3

Hi Thought of introducing myself, and even though the forum is about mental issues, i wanted to express the need to understand other with mental issues and bring a ray of hope in their lives. I am going through a bit, and its taken me about 6 months ... View more

Hi Thought of introducing myself, and even though the forum is about mental issues, i wanted to express the need to understand other with mental issues and bring a ray of hope in their lives. I am going through a bit, and its taken me about 6 months to think of opening an account on BB. About me: 36 yo returning migrant to lovely Melbourne after a 7 year stint in my country of birth. in those 7 years, had a good job, met my wife, married, got a daughter, a cat, a house and a whole lot of extended family issues that we broomed under a thick blanket. These issues are propping up (well for my life) now that she wants to change her life. However i am a doofus at most things and mis-interpret or don't interpret things properly. (dont know) My wife is going through serious changes in her life, and she is the type of person that doesn't talk very much (the reverse of me) and instead actions on things. her motto is Actions speak louder than words. Well for the most part of her transition, i am left with a child and a house thinking things up. i even thought that she was cheating and confronted her 4 times about it - every time her answers were that she is going through a personal change and the extended family issues has affected her a lot. I've realised a lot through those conversations, but i assume/think/digest so many thoughts that im reaching a point where i am now completely lost. i normally have a pretty strong guide in life - i know what i want to do, where i am going and i make it happen. I wake up most mornings and all i think of is whats for breakfast, we are late, whats for lunch, whats for dinner, kid time....repeat i hope i can get some help - because i dont know what to do - i just wanna talk to someone who wont judge me thanks for all

funkyzoom Bumped into this thread when I was desparately seeking answers
  • replies: 63

Hi everyone! 32 year old single male, living and working in Australia since 3 years now. I 'appear' to have a decent, well paying job, and to bystanders I seem like a regular, happy-go-lucky person who lives life on his own terms. I enjoy travelling,... View more

Hi everyone! 32 year old single male, living and working in Australia since 3 years now. I 'appear' to have a decent, well paying job, and to bystanders I seem like a regular, happy-go-lucky person who lives life on his own terms. I enjoy travelling, watching movies playing video games, listening to music (I used to be the lead vocalist of a local rock/metal band in my home country during my University days) and working out at the gym. Now comes the other part. I was diagnosed with BorderLine Personality Disorder, clinical depression and anxiety at age 13, and life has been pretty tough ever since. I never did well at school, and my grades were almost always pathetic. I struggled to get/keep jobs, and was nearly homeless at one point after being unemployed for over 6 months. I grew up with a severe inferiority complex, and intense self-hate, which has remained till this day. I was on meds for over a decade, but have been taken off them now. I do have monthly therapy sessions with a psychologist, but I am unable to visit a psychiatrist for meds (I feel I really need meds now) because psychiatrists are too expensive in Australia. So I have no family or friends around here (I feel too inferior to interact with people and befriend them), live alone in a rented apartment, feel like crap all day, am stuck in a terrible, highly stressful job where I feel like a prisoner (unable to switch jobs due to anxiety, and unable to quit because I need the job to pay my bills). I don't remember the last time I felt even remotely happy. I basically feel ugly, dumb, pathetic and unworthy (have felt this way since I was 5 or so). I sometimes feel like killing myself, but I lack the courage to do it and likely won't ever attempt it (so I am safe). I am a total trainwreck at the moment. Quitting this pathetic job may help a lot, but I may never get another job because I don't have a professional network here. I am basically ready to do ANY job now, but pretty sure no one will hire me. I also long for some company, but I feel that the world hates me and my BPD turns people away. I have nightmares about dying alone. I am just wasting away my life, and all doors seem to be closed on me. This post is just a desperate cry for help, hoping that someone, somewhere will relate to me.

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