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BeyondBlue Hi! Read this if you are not sure what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section of the Beyond Blue Forums. Beyond Blue acknowledges and respects the diversity of communities across Australia, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the First Australians. Beyond B... View more

Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section of the Beyond Blue Forums. Beyond Blue acknowledges and respects the diversity of communities across Australia, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the First Australians. Beyond Blue also recognises the complexities of identity and that people may identify with more than one community. Depression, anxiety and suicide can affect any of us at any time – regardless of our culture or background. We also know that a range of factors can make it harder for people in some communities to seek and access support. This section is for members born overseas, are the children of parents born overseas, have a language other than English as your primary language, or come from a family with mixed cultural heritage and want a specific space to share their experience. Please be aware that posts on the Beyond Blue Forums may contain discussions of suicide, self-harm and/or traumatic life events. As per our Forums guidelines, please be mindful when posting about the level of detail you share on these topics as it can be upsetting for other members. We look forward to hearing your stories. Beyond Blue

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Donte Is Combination Stigma, Worse Than Stigma?
  • replies: 15

At some point in our lives we may have bad experiences by people who display negative attitudes, thoughts, beliefs and behaviours that influence us and others around us, altering the way we see things, injecting fear, prejudice, rejection, avoidance ... View more

At some point in our lives we may have bad experiences by people who display negative attitudes, thoughts, beliefs and behaviours that influence us and others around us, altering the way we see things, injecting fear, prejudice, rejection, avoidance that leads to discrimination and marginalisation, simply based on our mental health. Even though, this is a common experience that transcends ethnicity, this stigma is often much greater for people of culturally and linguistically diverse backgrounds, especially if they do not 'fit' into their ethnic origins' prescribed stereotypes and if not being accepted by their own cultural or religious community. Think of cultural and religious minorities who already confront prejudice and discrimination because of their group affiliation, and suffer double or triple or multiple stigma simultaneously, inside and outside of their communities. For instance, consider a HIV+ married muslim or jewish man who has sex with other men but is not openly 'out' in his community, doesn't speak good English, lives in a remote or rural area, is facing family breakdown, isolation and possible homelessness, unemployment, has drug dependency and suffers from mental illness. The potency of the stigma in this scenario may lead this individual to not seek help inside their community and also not seek or adequately participate in treatment. So, I'm taking about the combination stigma and how it can impede treatment and well-being, creating otherwise preventable and treatable mortalities and morbidities. Stereotyping various groups only adds to the stigma. I have heard people inside and outside the muslim and the jewish community for example, saying that muslims or Jews don't have alcohol or substance abuse problems, or that there are no gay muslims or jewish gays! Such stereotypes could serve as a deterrent to mental health care for the above-mentioned individuals, and place extreme ambivalence at the centre of their need to seek help. What are your thoughts on combination stigma? Have you experienced it? Do you know of others who do? How would you effectively deal with this if you are in this situation or you want to help someone in this predicament?

Donte Are dreams affecting you? Does troubled sleep impact on your daily life? How are dreams viewed in your cultural background or your country of origin?
  • replies: 5

This morning I woke up from a dream which affected my mood. Since I was 2yo I’ve had nightmares, talk in my sleep, sleepwalk at times, and experience sleep paralysis and night terrors. Often it’s the same repetitive dream that many therapists have de... View more

This morning I woke up from a dream which affected my mood. Since I was 2yo I’ve had nightmares, talk in my sleep, sleepwalk at times, and experience sleep paralysis and night terrors. Often it’s the same repetitive dream that many therapists have described as an existential anxiety and reflection of abandonment fears. What I’d like to discuss in this thread is how dreams and interrupted sleeping or lack of sleep or bad quality sleep, affect our moods and pave the way for mental disturbance that can affect everything else we do throughout the day. Thoughts, concentration, ability to focus and complete tasks etc could be affected negatively if we haven’t slept well. My cultural background seems to favor dreams and interpreting them and many people in my country of origin believe that there is some message that dreams bring us or some kind of otherworldly connection or even an engagement with some aspect of the afterlife and/or angels, god and demons and people that have passed on. Many read their coffee cup or tea leaves and tarot and follow their horoscope together with talking about their dreams, awaiting some message from a dream to be revealed to them etc. I grew up hearing people around me often telling others the dreams they had. Describing details and wanting others to interpret them. There are common notions that seem to be acceptable by most in regards to what certain things indicate in your dreams. For example, most Greek people who believe that dreams are something more than just our brains saving, processing, deleting, uploading and downloading information based on feelings, emotions, thoughts, situations and experiences we have had throughout the day, they’d agree that if you see food in your dream it means unsettlement or issues; if you loose a tooth in your dream, you’ll be faced with illness etc. Beyond the superstitious nature or these interpretations, many justify their beliefs by bringing examples from the Bible. Many verses talk about god revealing themselves through dreams to announce certain events or warn people about something. Prophecy itself is pretty similar in nature. The person becomes the vessel, the messenger to pass on information about something, given by a higher power. Despite certain beliefs about dreams and interpretations, the fact remains that dreams often affect us. I’d like to hear how dreams are viewed in your culture and how they may affect your moods, mental health and your hours you spend while awake.

Vero CPTSD - is the way out?
  • replies: 27

I have been most definitely more lucky in life than unlucky. My background Abuse, abandonment, traumas and some horrific fights but had a personality of a fighter, overcomer, driven, achieve and make difference for others. Received years of psych ass... View more

I have been most definitely more lucky in life than unlucky. My background Abuse, abandonment, traumas and some horrific fights but had a personality of a fighter, overcomer, driven, achieve and make difference for others. Received years of psych assistance and still depending on a regular contact with a very good and dependable psych. Have a loving and supportive husband, children and 2 special ptsd dogs. 4 years ago I took sabbatical to confront general and mental health issues. 2 years ago I started easing into work activities again but this time setting a new business. I had businesses before but unlike then this time I did not have any time constraints and good financial support = lots of fun. I have overcome suicidal thoughts. This coincided with restoration of my health after years of veganism. I have studied Tai Chi, Reiki, tapping and spirituality with remarkable teachers and expended their teachings taking myself further in knowledge, understanding, practice and experiences. I would love to have a sip of wine or take medication to ease the pain, terror, flashbacks, anxiety and despair but I cannot. Having sense of control is very important to me and I see triumph is in resolving the issues, not applying the Band-Aid. I can make friends easily but I loose them as quickly. Small talk is a hard work for me and I get enjoyment from the subtlest things so too much festivity paralyses me. I am alone which is paradoxically awful and sweet at the same time. I used to believe understanding of abusers would make a significant difference. It doesn’t. I used to think securing apologies from perpetrators would make a difference. It doesn’t. I used to think they punishment would be satisfying. It is not. The “night terrors”, triggers are always inside me waiting to be released in a crisis situation, take over. I see no way of overprinting the memories and thus altering the chain of reaction – Or addressing it from the other way around effectively. I used to burry myself in work to push this feeling away. It does not go away. My point No matter how much effort I put in logical self-argument, thought control and other “tricks of the trade”, I cannot stop, or disarm the low perception of self, my feeling of inadequacy, not belonging, not enough, being ballast to those around me. I feel being somewhat functional is the only outcome one can really hope for CPSTD. But being “functional” of today is more limited than being “functional” of yesterday.

Donte Fruit bowl: dealing with pain and grief
  • replies: 17

The other day as a song unexpectedly popped up on the radio, I found myself overwhelmed by myriads of emotions. Memories of my late partner and the years we had together flooded my mind. Tears started rolling uninvitedly on my cheeks. It's funny how ... View more

The other day as a song unexpectedly popped up on the radio, I found myself overwhelmed by myriads of emotions. Memories of my late partner and the years we had together flooded my mind. Tears started rolling uninvitedly on my cheeks. It's funny how grief raises her head out of the blue, even years later, when you have come to terms with the loss, the permanency, the death of your loved one. As I was standing there, my eye caught the fruit bowl on my kitchen bench. I looked at the bananas, pears, apples, mandarins etc. in the bowl. I realised that a few looked a bit off. Some were starting to rot. Instinctively, I wanted to remove them from the bowl, but something stopped me. I decided to take a few steps backwards. Then had another look. Suddenly, a smile appeared on my face. 'This bowl is my life!', I thought to myself. There are amazing things in it. My daughter, my friendships, work, home, pets, family and relatives overseas, all the material things and hobbies I enjoy. There are also some bad things, pain, loss, issues, problems, challenges that are affecting me. But when I take a few steps backwards, and look at the whole bowl in its entirety, it's actually beautiful and pleasant. There are in it things that I love and give me pleasure and joy. This thought made me feel better and I found myself remembering the good things and feeling thankful for my life and my countless blessings. How do you deal with pain? Problems? Issues? Grief? Is there a particular way that you've learnt to see things through your cultural or religious background? Through your upbringing? How do you see your uncomfortable challenges in life? How do you normalise loss and carry on? what's your experience?

Donte Escaping.
  • replies: 8

Tonight I wanna drink To not remember anything afterwards To get trapped in the smoke To not be afraid of the consequences Tonight I wanna drink I want to go out of my limits To confess in the smoke About my lost dreams I will turn on with cigarrets ... View more

Tonight I wanna drink To not remember anything afterwards To get trapped in the smoke To not be afraid of the consequences Tonight I wanna drink I want to go out of my limits To confess in the smoke About my lost dreams I will turn on with cigarrets I will switch off with drinks Now that I’ve been burned Everything can turn to dust and ashes Tonight I wanna drink I want to delete everything and everyone To disappear in the smoke To not look back again... Does anybody else ever feel like this? Just wondering...

Hayfa Stay home or move out?
  • replies: 8

It has been a long held tradition in my culture that children should not move out of home until they are married or if they are working overseas whereupon usually they would live with, or close to relatives. Times have changed in my culture and of co... View more

It has been a long held tradition in my culture that children should not move out of home until they are married or if they are working overseas whereupon usually they would live with, or close to relatives. Times have changed in my culture and of course kids leave home if they want to. I think back to when I was growing up where it was almost a forbidden conversation to have let alone actually leaving home, and if someone in my community did leave home it was assumed that the child was a rebel, badly behaved, not living according to traditional convention, and causing parents grief. I have found myself reacting the same way to my older girls when they joke about leaving home, I become defensive and say that no one lives outside of the home until they marry or if their work dictated that they must travel, but this is just the mum in me that makes me want to protect them and look after them as much as I can. Perhaps to be honest, I am a bit conservative, I live by my cultural views and traditions which I do teach to my kids because this is part of our cultural traditions and identity. I am probably lucky that my kids are too comfortable at home and don't want to leave anyway but I often wonder about the ones that fight their parents on it and are met with resistance. My husband thinks the way I do and would never support the idea of them leaving home to live alone however, he does say that i am to blame for spoiling them and not expecting them to help much around the house. My response to this, they will leave one day, probably marry and marriage won't always be a walk in the park so why not let them live enjoyably and comfortably while they can. I feel I have pushed them to learn and take responsibilities, I would rather help them when they need help such as if they are stuck with payments etc, I think that by expecting them to go it alone if they are not ready could set them up for anxious times ahead. I am interested to hear other views on this subject since in some Eastern and European cultures the traditions are similar or the same as I have described mine to be. Is kids leaving home in other cultures different and why?

Donte What are your support networks in this new country?
  • replies: 10

On my balcony I have a pond with a water feature that continually moves the flow of water in a cascade that falls from the top of an artificial rock into the pond and back again. I always loved the sound of water. I grew up on the beach. I could hear... View more

On my balcony I have a pond with a water feature that continually moves the flow of water in a cascade that falls from the top of an artificial rock into the pond and back again. I always loved the sound of water. I grew up on the beach. I could hear the waves from my bedroom upon waking up each morning and smell the saltiness and seaweed in the air. I come from a country filled with islands and fishing boats. Once, I had a water feature on the12th floor where I lived. Water follows me, no matter where I am. Or to be correct, I carry it with me. Even after my migration, as an adult, I find it essential for my wellbeing to be near water. To feel connected with my roots. In my pond on the second floor, I have koi fish the last four years. They seem to be loving their home, as they’ve grown enormously. Each morning and evening I feed them. They come up and greet me and it gives me immense pleasure to see them eating and swimming around happily, carelessly. It is always a special time, the time I spend on my balcony, next to water. I sometimes think that maybe our life resembles this pond. We are tiny and insignificant in the scheme of things, going on about our little lives, in a limited space of how many meters is allocated for our home, traveling to and from work daily, same streets, same landscapes, same faces and places. Even when we travel, we never go too far. We are bound on this earth. Held together by gravity. Like those fish in the pond, others do so many things daily that maintain our existence, yet, we may be unaware about it or not think consciously of this. Little and big acts affect our wellbeing and mental health, our very existence. Others grow our food, others bring the water into the pipes, others build, construct, put in place everything that we need and want, so we can turn on a switch, push a button, turn on a tap etc. We are all totally dependent on others for our survival. On each other. We are all limited within our little ponds (our reality) where we reside. Like those fish on my balcony, we will probably die if someone didn’t keep maintaining us, providing, working hard to ensure we can continue having our little worlds maintained and able to keep on living. Who or what are some significant people or things that have kept you going in times of loneliness, strife, desperation? Who or what has sustained you and helped you out when you were unable to look after yourself? What are your support networks in this new country?

Donte Grab Life By the (Tennis) Balls!
  • replies: 10

Those who have a dog would know the significance of tennis balls. Sometimes they disappear in front of your eyes and other times magically appear out of nowhere. Despite the fact that they are cheap and easily accessible and replaceable, such a small... View more

Those who have a dog would know the significance of tennis balls. Sometimes they disappear in front of your eyes and other times magically appear out of nowhere. Despite the fact that they are cheap and easily accessible and replaceable, such a small thing makes the highlight of many dogs lives and an important part of engaging, playing and relating between owners and their dogs. It leads to bonding and a satisfying experience of sharing and enjoying the little things in life. At times you go to great lengths as a dog owner trying to retrieve lost balls and other times you just let them go without any effort to get them back. When it comes to opportunities, taking chances, risks, investing in events, emotions, people, relationships and situations the same principle could be applicable. Sometimes you’ll lose and sometimes you win. There’s no point tormenting ourselves unnecessarily with anxiety and stress for things we cannot change, or feeling depressed for events that had turned out differently to what we expected. It’s like all those tennis balls we’ve lost and never retrieved. We had fun throwing them, watch them bounce and see the joy our dog brings to us in this relentless hunt that never ceases to excite. We may also have captured amazing moments and landscapes and beauty that has made us feel awe and looking back at these pictures brings smiles to our faces. We may have talked to people and engaged in ways we wouldn't have otherwise if it wasn't for those seemingly insignificant tennis balls...When we are faced with loss and grief, when things are tough and our heart aches in agony, pain and loneliness, when bitterness remains and we cannot fathom how life will continue without that person, or relationship, or job or home or being away from our homeland and loved ones, having aged or lost our aspects of our independence and health etc (whatever the loss may be), it might help to keep in mind that like the lost tennis balls, we may not get these back again but we don’t know which others await to be discovered...what we may face in our next walk in the park, taking our next step towards some undiscovered experience that will provide us with meaningful purpose, new direction and shape our path in ways unimaginable...What's your experience when it comes to pets and mental health? How are pets viewed in your culture? Do you believe there is a positive link between pets and mental health? Let's get some woofs shall we?

Himecchi NEED HELP
  • replies: 2

I’m an international student and currently living with my auntie (legal guardian) and I am working. She keeps my credit card and I secretly have an access on my phone (because she said I might lost my card and I might spend a lot of MY money). She fo... View more

I’m an international student and currently living with my auntie (legal guardian) and I am working. She keeps my credit card and I secretly have an access on my phone (because she said I might lost my card and I might spend a lot of MY money). She found out about this because she forced me to open my bank statements online and destroy my phone and she said she will report me to the police (I don’t know why) and tell the embassy to cancel my student visa and send me back home.

Rob13579 Difficulty in distinguishing between casual racism and a neutral comment
  • replies: 34

My father became an Australian citizen in his 20s during his studies; so I was an Australian citizen by descent when I was born. However, I was born and raised overseas until I was 13 years old and then I moved to Australia. I can speak English clear... View more

My father became an Australian citizen in his 20s during his studies; so I was an Australian citizen by descent when I was born. However, I was born and raised overseas until I was 13 years old and then I moved to Australia. I can speak English clearly most of the time when I am not tired or nervous, but I still have a foreign accent (as described by some people I have encountered over the past 9 years in Australia). Over the past 9 years, I have noticed that if I do not speak much, some people naturally assume that I do not speak or understand English well. I was in a seminar and there was a Mandarin translation service. After the seminar, an acquaintance at the time asked me whether the headphones worked properly. At the moment, I wondered whether it was because I looked Chinese to him (whom I had barely spoken with a week before the seminar) and that means I do not understand English? By the way, Chinese is a nationality and there are 56 ethnic groups in China. I gave 2 talks which were great according to the audience; however, both times after the talk, an acquaintance I have known for ~3 years said perfect or great English as a compliment. I said to myself, so an East Asian looking person or someone with a foreign accent does not generally speak English well? which is a speculation of mine. One time someone on the street thought I looked "Vietnamese" and said "hello" to me in Vietnamese as he explained. Another person I met for the first time at a train station was impressed by my English after he found out that I was born and raised overseas. Even friends (not close) asked me how could I speak good English because "many" "Chinese" people they know do not speak English as good as I do, or they said something similar to that. There are more experiences similar to the above examples. They all asked me "where are you from (originally)?" at some point. I sometimes struggle to answer that question because I do not know what they actually mean by "originally". I have been an Australian citizen since I was born in East Asia, so I am actually from Australia and East Asia? Or should I answer where I was born? I believe people who asked those questions or made those comments did not mean to offend anyone. They simply have not had many multicultural interactions in their lives due to all sort of reasons, or they are trying to be nice by making a compliment. However, I could not help but feel self-conscious because even today I still have similar experiences.