don't know what to do

[Stranded_and_lost]

i don't know where to start, for as long as i remember my life had some or the other problem whether it be for my own life decisions or loss of my family members, i struggled but now my life is becoming unbearable, daily arguments and reminders of how i am worthless since i am sitting at home unemployed, cant do anything right, every conversation ends with blaming me for everything. i tried to find a way to get back to work but don't hear back from anywhere, my previous work experience doesn't matter its from another country. it feels hard to get past all that rejection and keep on applying with no confidence in myself. i don't have many friends here. probably i am the problem i am not good at anything but i have to keep on going for my two year old daughter..each day i think of running away from all this but i know i have nowhere to go. I regret coming here, i feel useless, lonely, miserable and lost. i don't know what to do

[Hayfa]

Hello

Welcome to the forums!
I am so sorry to hear about the difficult situation you are facing right now. Please try to not be so hard on yourself because trying to settle, find new employment in a new country is not easy and can take time.
Can I ask you how long you and your family have been in Australia?
What do you mean by 'loss of family members'?
Do you have any other relatives or friends here?

I am sorry for the questions but I just want to get a bit more of a sense of what is happening in your life.
Please don't blame yourself for your circumstances since there are things that we cannot control, you are obviously trying to make things work for yourself and family.
I am sure you have many talents, perhaps trying to work out a plan and take one goal at a time might help.

Have you considered applying to the job agency specifically to arrived migrants such as Brotherhood of St Laurence? They run a program called Given a Chance, they help link people who have come from overseas to employment in their State.
Things will improve, if you need more help to learn more or access other services you can call on your local support service agencies. I cannot name any because I don't know which State you live in.

I hope this helps, please keep talking to us here so we can know how you are doing and offer you some more support.
Everyone here is wonderful and you will always receive an answer.

Hayfa

[Summer Rose]

Hi

I'd also like to welcome you to the bb forum. Twenty-two years ago I was in your shoes, as a relatively new comer to Australia and a first time mum with no family support.

One of the best things you can do for yourself right now is to get out of the house and meet people. I found some great no-cost ways to connect with others and create a sense of belonging and a support network in my community.

Most libraries offer free story time events on a weekly basis. My son enjoyed the stories and choosing books to borrow, and I met lots of new mums, many of whom became friends.

Many community centres also run play groups for pre-school children. Another great way to meet people that your daughter will also enjoy. You can also normally find other mums to talk to at large parks and playgrounds.

Finding work is challenging and I understand your frustration and pain. I found I had to make some compromises at the start. I arrived with two uni degrees (journalism and law) and heaps of experience, but the only job I could get at the start was in retail. I kept pushing on, undertook further study and eventually got to where I wanted to be. It's a process.

Settling into a new country and building a new life is hard. But you've already come a long way and I encourage you to keep trying. Posting was a great idea because there are many people here who can help you through it.

Kind thoughts to you. Post any time

[Donte]

Hello Stranded and lost,

Welcome to this multicultural experiences forum. Thank you for sharing your story. We are here to share, listen, understand and hopefully help. Hope you'll be able to exchange ideas and experiences with others in similar situations and by doing so you may find some relief.

It sounds like you are going through a tough time at the moment.

It's not easy being in a new country. It's tough dealing with our internal struggles and feeling alone or misunderstood by the ones closest to us. And you have a two-year old who's dependent on you and relies solely on you for her survival. The job market is tough. Competition is fierce. No wonder you feel down.

This site, apart from peer-support, provides also confidential counselling (private chat or telephone) with an experienced, professional counsellor.

Hope you can get all the information you need to help you move forward and enhance your quality of life. Talking about it is a big part to mobilize us to initiate the change process. Please try and look after yourself as much as you can and know best - rest, eat well, exercise, spend time with your daughter and read stories, play etc. and try to engage in some outdoor fun activities to clear your mind from time to time.

We are all here for you when you need to chat so it's good that you have reached out. Please tell us more s you feel the need to. X

[Stranded_and_lost]

Thankyou everyone who took time to reply to me. To answer those questions..after i came here i lost three family members first my grandparents i lived with them all my life, i was very close to them and then my father, after almost two years, i was there, i sat on a chair besides him for two months in the hospital, couldn't help him. I still close my eyes n i see his pain. I faced it all but now i am tired..i made friends who are no friends but competitors..i only talk to my mom who i cannot trouble much as she is also a heart patient, i dont have any other relative here..though i have spent 6-7 years here but it was all mared with grief. I tried to be strong, I do have a uni degree i have done masters in management and worked for 5 years in home country but didnt find much here so did a certificate from tafe did volunteering non paying jobs to gain experience but it didnt help either..i may be doing something wrong what i dont know..now i feel lost..i use to work in recruitment now i myself cant find a job..ironical..everything has a effect on personal life n brain..mine has gone numb..its difficult to concentrate, find a way out..

[Donte]

Hello Stranded and lost,

Nice to have you back again. Thank you for sharing more information into your personal situation. It helps us understand where you are coming from.

It's terrible when we lose loved ones who play significant part in our lives. Nothing can replace that loss and we are left with our memories and our emotions. It is horrific and disturbing to witness our loved ones suffering bedridden and/or in hospital and then die. It makes us feel so vulnerable, so fragile, so useless. No matter how much we love them, there is absolutely nothing we can do to keep them alive.

Take as long as you need to mourn. There is nothing wrong with the way you are feeling right now.

When we are going through the death of a loved one we can be so busy, functioning on superdrive, on adrenaline and we can find unbeelievable strength, however, after they die is not uncommon to feel drained, and to even collapse.

Friends are very hard to find. Acquaintances yes, but friends, not really. And by friends I mean people to be there and be an extension of yourself and help, support and understand without trying to fix you, to change you, to offer you advice. Our lives are very superficial and most chase after the mighty dollar in this country. That's why we have these forums, the websites, the services to help us. Because we do not have it in our streets, in our neighborhoods, in our communities. Out of need these forums were created and these services developed. So I'm truly glad that you too have found your way into this forum. For some, it may be the only thing we have.

Do you visit your homeland often? How are things there now? Are the prospects of finding employment better perhaps? Have you thought of returning back, even for a break?

I don't think you are doing anything wrong. It's just we are in an era where most companies have moved overseas. There are hardly any industries left in Australia. This is not the country that used to be - (the lucky one). We certainly cannot make money here nowadays or become rich easily like once upon a time. And the whole volunteer work, even though beneficial, I often think may be a scheme to exploit workers and get all these free labour. Often it doesn't lead where we want it to lead.

Was reading that Australia has the most qualified taxi drivers in the world. Overseas professionals who cannot get a job here, lawyers, professors, doctors...are driving taxis!

Wish I could make it sound good but it's tough. Hang in there. X