Mixed relationship

[Guest_74671780]

So I'm in a long distance relationship with a mixed male who is white-mexican and he grew up all Hispanic, I'm Australian white and when he told an aunt about me she said "I was going to taint the blood line" and so I've been trying to embrace his culture more so that they don't feel that way and I'm not really sure what do to and it stresses me out alot because if him and I get married and have kids I don't want his family to disapprove or make comments further as they should be happy he has someone who loves him, so I guess in a way I want to impress his family aswell as him.

[indigo22]

Hi,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for reaching out to us.

A few things have stood out for me in your post that I would like to talk about, I am now in my 60s and have been through a lot of difficult challenges, which has changed the way I view things these days.

Please don't take me the wrong way when I say this but I think you are seeing this situation from a distorted perspective. It is never our job to impress anyone, the most important and valuable thing you can give to others is to be yourself.

You can choose to embrace his culture if wish, however, you are not obliged to do so. How can you possibly taint the bloodline when he is already White/Mexican? If he was pure Mexican, then the Aunt may have her own thoughts about that. From from where I stand, it is a racist comment against you to say that you would taint the bloodline. There is already too much racism in the world without adding to it.

If you and your partner decide at some point to marry and have children, the only person you need to be in harmony with is your partner. His family should not get to have a say in any of your decisions, it is not their life, it's yours.

I hope this helps and please feel free to continue the conversation if you are comfortable doing so.

Take care,

indigo

[tranzcrybe]

I guess the more pressing question is: How did he respond to the aunt's comment? ...

[BlueLily]

Hi there,

Welcome to the forum. Thanks for sharing your story.

Unfortunately my culture also have a history of being racist towards similar scenarios. I have a Sri Lankan background and my family has never been against me dating people from any culture. But I've seen lot of family who are narrow minded. My best friend who fell in love with an American boy had to break up because her parents were against her dating anybody outside the culture. It's downright wrong and heartbreaking. Confusing part was her parents are very nice and helpful and also hang around with people from all cultures. 

It is very nice of you to embrace his culture. If two parties are from different cultures, I think it's a nice thing for both parties to do to make their relationship more meaningful and to be able to understand each others' mindset. As Indigo22 mentioned, it's not your responsibility to change yourself to impress in laws. Like tranzcrybe mentioned I think the question is does your partner accept you for who you are and how he is going to deal with the situation when his family is unable to accept you...

[Scared]

Yes I agree with Indigo

In Aus being in mixed marriage hardly raises an eyebrow.  My Thai mother inlaw wasnt too thrilled about her Thai daughter dating an Australian.   But I always put my best foot forward and now she loves me too.  Im tired of people not approving and they can take a hike.  Love yourself love your partner and make an attempt to immerse in their culture which you are doing.  Dont allow this Aunt to rattle you .  There will be others in his family that will appreciate you making an effort so let this Aunt be on the outer alone.  Remember Adolf Hitler wanted a pure bloodline too.  Look how that turned out for the European Jew.  The Aunt doesnt have a good arguement does she.