Love needs no passport!

[Donte]

With 46% of our population being born overseas or having at least one parent born overseas (ABS Data), representing more than 200 ethnicities and 135 religions, is inevitable that people will mingle, associate, deal, and develop relationships with others who may be of a very different background and belief system than them, speaking a different language not only in words but worldview in general. Australia is one of the most diverse place on earth and people are daily exposed to a variety of cultural, religious, social elements that enrich, challenge, expand our minds and human experience. Children born in our multicultural world have even further chances to have best friends and later lovers or partners from very different backgrounds to ours. They’re certainly growing up in a very different reality to the one we grew up in. So how do we effectively deal with differences? What religion to follow? What language to speak? What community to choose to be a part of? Cross-cultural relationships and interracial marriages are on the rise. How does this affect our mental health? What happens when our family becomes our worst enemy? When dynamics change because of cross-cultural communication or strife? How do we navigate the complexities surrounding racial or religious differences? Who do we talk to? How can we meet half-way? And can we? What’s your experience?

[Donte]

Hi Bettie,

As a LOTE teacher in primary and secondary schools in Victoria, I’m delighted to hear about your school’s cultural diversity and ESL curriculum. 🙂

[Donte]

Hi Lolita1,

I agree. When I migrated to Australia 30+ years ago and moved to Melbourne from Athens, I looked up the least Greek area and deliberately chose to live in my suburb as I wanted to expose myself in the most diverse environment away from anything familiar. This has been one of the most enriching experiences and love the way it has enabled me to integrate and assimilate in ways that perhaps wouldn’t be possible if I chose to live in a suburb with high demographics from my own ethnicity. One of the things that attracted me to Australia and makes me happy to be a citizen and contribute to this multicultural society is the freedom to be something different, to not live the way you’d live back in your own country of origin and the choice to do so if you desire this, equally important as if you choose to keep your traditions and continue in the path of your ancestors of course. The choices we have in this amazing country are indeed Mind-blowing and I proudly say that I love being an Australian (naturalised) and love living here. My life has been enriched immensely in ways unfathomable to the rest of my family who’s left behind in my country of origin simply because I chose to put myself in uncomfortable situations and push my own boundaries. If we are open to change and embrace diversity, indeed we grow and our lives get enriched immensely. As I age and living with chronic lifeliniting illness I’m additionally thankful about the world-class health system and benefits and supports we enjoy here. 🙂

[Just Sara]

Hi Donte';

You give so much in this section...thankyou.

Your question about my son's MH does strike a cord with me. I knew he'd been upset by many absent father's day school events, and multicultural events too.

When he was 7 or 8, I helped him research Sri Lanka for Multicultural Day. It was a special time when we were both on the same page. When he presented it to the class, he felt proud and a sense of belonging.

In his teens though, his father's absence caused much anger and questions about him (son) being the cause. Rationally he got it, but deep down he still wondered.

Although he came from a bi racial family, the affects of a single parent upbringing hit him hard. Divorce has no boundaries no matter our origin.

Late teens he asked me to help him change his surname as there'd been no contact from his father since he was 2. It was a really big deal for us both, so we set about discussing it in depth, then applied to the court. He spoke on his own behalf to the magistrate even though he was scared; I was so proud of him.

My son suffered with anxiety once that I know of as he came straight to me and asked for help. I took him to the hospital and had him assessed. I don't think there are any residual effects thank goodness.

Anyway, I think having a single working mum affected him much more than missing his paternal heritage. I pained over it more than he ever did I suspect.

It upsets me to revisit those times Donte'; a lot of my anxiety relates to then. There's more to our story, but it's for another thread. I'll leave you with it I think..

Kind regards;

Sez

[Donte]

Hi Sez,

As a single dad who had full custody of my daughter and raised her since she was 9 and having born overseas, I can relate. The teen years admittedly have been the hardest. When my daughter turned 13 so many things changed. I couldn’t recognize her in many ways! She cut off her Mum completely and has been angry and cold towards her since. That has been a great deal of frustration for years. As a migrant with no extended family here but my brother whom I don’t see much, I carried the burden all by myself. I remember talking to Parentline, Lifeline, Crisisline through the years on regular basis for support and many sleepless nights I would be up discussing stressful situations and events. I also have tried through the years to direct her and guide her towards asking for support and accessing a female doctor for personal, intimate issues she couldn’t talk to me about relating to womanhood and sexual health etc plus the Kidsline and Lifeline and at some instances the RelationshipsAustralia and BeyondBlue chat lines. That seemed to ease some anxiety and stress at various times. Eventually she got to see a counselor and started medications to manage her anxiety which was severely affecting her performance at school and later work and her relationships and friendships. I, started medications and accessed counseling services. It’s not easy being a parent. It’s definetely not easy being a single parent. There are millions of children in Australia raised by single parents and we all share common experiences no matter what our background. But no one teaches us how to parent. We learn as we go and we improvise having only our own childhood to draw upon and the popular culture of the day plus books and information that we may decide to access. I always told myself and my daughter that ‘you’re not a tree! If something doesn’t work, move! Go left, go right, go forward, go backwards...until you find what works for you.’ Also, ‘No matter how good or bad it is, it will change. It always does.’ And as my mum used to say ‘The only permanent is the temporary!’ Now at 22, she has a great job, studies, pays her rent, food and expenses and pays off her loan for the car she bought. Even though, things are definitely better now, anxiety and depression always lurks in the background and I’m sure the time will come where she’d have to do some personal growth work around those issues that for sure will resurface in the future but I believe this applies to all of us.

[Donte]

Hi Lolita01,

That's true. Of course, people of the same culture can, and do, have very different outlooks in life and points of view, beliefs etc. Not two people are ever the same as character, personalty, idiosyncrasy, together with life experiences, education, environment, social and economic factors, gender, sexual orientation, age etc will influence one's ideas and values. Sometimes we have more in common with people of other cultures than our own. I understand what you mean though, and agree, the more we mingle with others, the more we expose ourselves to unknown elements the more we share of our own and learn from others and this process changes us. The beauty of multiculturalism. 🙂

[Donte]

And to anyone reading this. You are great and you are here.

[Donte]

Love is not just your crush, you date. Love is family, friends and people you care about, people who you would trust and give every thing too and not always get much out of it. Love is not just a feeling.