Wishing for a friend to talk to

[dragonflies]

Hi,

I feel alone. I'm 19 and I have no friends anymore. No one to confide in, trust, or share my life with. I just want someone to talk to. Someone who gets me and who I can relate to and vice versa. I find it hard trying to make friends. I dread the process of getting to know someone completely for who they are. It takes so much time and effort. I have only ever been hurt in the past after making such close friends and having them just drift away from you without a care in the world.

Does anyone feel like this too?

dragonflies

[startingnew]

How did you go kickboxing? Did you enjoy it? Sounds like a great way to release some of that energy and anger etc, I use to do boxing through school and found it to be a greta release!
It was a nice gathering yes.


I understand where your coming from in regards to psychologists but sometimes its good to just go there vent and wealk out and leave those worries behind. If you see a psychologist regualrly then its like well I wouldnt call a psych a friend but its like catching up with a friend and getting to know them or well they getting to know you. Youd be surprised how much a psychologist 'knows you' even after only a few sessions.
Haha bed and movies/netflix sounds great!


What sort of things do you do to fill your day? What are some of your interests?

[dragonflies]

Ah I didn't go haha. I will try again next week 😞 Thats why I want to try it! Hit something as hard as I can

Yeah you're right. It would be nice to have someone in person who I could talk to and vent to for no cost though. Its like she only has to listen to me because its her job and shes being paid for it rather than firsthand cares for me. I feel some sort of pressure that I need to get better/improve how I feel. She isn't primarily for just venting to and talking about things, she does different types of therapy to learn about my thoughts/issues/problems and develop ways to overcome them, settle them or learn how to control them etc. Doesn't feel like I'll get there but I'm trying to keep an open mind most of the time and just see where it could go rather than fight it.

I'm back in bed struggling to find a new show to watch because I've watched most good ones already. Also flicking through a book which I'm trying to read but keep putting down.

I just work at a bakery some mornings, dropped out of study again so none of that. I get home and want to go to bed. I eat out of boredom to fill time. Then I gain weight and am unhealthy which makes me feel worse. I was even thinking today what would a normal person who went to work do when they get home early in the day, see friends? Go out? But go where

I clean and do the washing obsessively, organise things. Can just go through my wardrobe to neaten everything/throw things out but I haven't been doing much of these lately. Just feel so numb and feel like curling up in bed under the covers and sleeping but obviously I can't sleep because I'm not that tired and it is the middle of the day.

I wish I could just sleep to pass all the time because it is a big escape. I used to smoke mara... all day everyday to pass the time and numb my mind, it gave me something to do, structured my day cause I'd sit down and do that then do things then go back and do that etc just a cycle. I would forget everything and time just passed by. I have completely given it up now. I'm used to feeling of out of reality in that sense. So when Im not smoking I get bored, feel like time goes by and I do nothing. I think of something I could do as a hobby but I can't pick it. I used to do painting, singing and knitting (a lot! haha make giant blankets). That would pass time. But now I start something and get so bored of it so quickly. I just hang with with dog eat food and stay in bed mainly at the moment.

What do you do/ interests?

[startingnew]

Hello, im sorry I havet been back here for a few days.
Im limited in what I can do atm as I havent been mentally well and have been told I should be in hospital but my gp is going to increase her support and hope that it helps. Thats the start anyway if that doesnt work then ill have to go back to hospital.


Hopefully youve managed to do some things you want to do and have tried. Thats ok if you havent.


How have you been? Have you been able to connect to the under 25s thread to meet some other people around our age?


Im glad yuve given up the drugs. It was a very good choice so im proud of you for doing that.


My interests are mainly drawing and paiting, poem writing and music

[dragonflies]

Hey startingnew,

I'm sorry to hear you haven't been doing too well. Do you suffer from depression? I hope your gp can help to make you feel better so you don't have to go back to hospital, I can't imagine what that would be like... It's good to know that they're supportive of you. How does your gp help you, do you have long talks or adjust medications?

I've been okay. The other medication I've just started is helping a little bit, this time I can notice it slightly. Otherwise just same old.

My dad has been wanting me to try a sugar free eating challenge for years now and so we're both giving it a go. We want to see if it actually has any effect on our energy and happiness. Have started with a detox - no sugar, dairy, grains, processed food to try restore our digestive system 😞 practically just veggies fruit and meat... I'm dying because I literally just eat sugar. I'm experiencing sugar withdrawals because we went cold turkey and my body aches, am so tired and my muscles are sore not to mention the constant headache. Ahhh feel exhausted, I hope it does work, just will take some determination to get through the hard part.

I messaged in the group chat but I'm not really sure what to say to everyone.

How are the horses and family? Have you been managing to have some me time?

I'd love to hear one of your poems if you ever feel comfortable sharing!

dragonflies

[Padfoot02]

You know what. I’ll be your mate, granted I’m only 15. I’ve been there done that and moved around nsw all of my life. I haven’t kept a best mate for more than 6 years, when most of my other friends have known each other since Kindergarten. So if you want to just have a good chat, I’m here.

[dragonflies]

Hey Padfoot02,

A friend can be any age. Thank you for responding to my thread, it means a lot. It's hard to find someone new to have as a best mate and can talk about absolutely anything about and completely be yourself. It takes a long time. People form longterm best friends through growing up together and experiencing the world together. I have had this when I was younger but they all faded away... They hurt a lot when they end because it isn't like a breakup it's more like someone just doesn't want to be around you or be a part of your life again.

I'd love to have a chat. Want to share more about yourself? F/M? I see this is your first post. Thanks for taking the time to read and reach out. Is there anything you'd like to talk about? How do you like to spend your days...

[LuLu_]

Hello SN

is it okay if I call you that?

I have a few things in common I believe. I am a horsey girl. I have a thoroughbred/warmblood who I compete on. I also have my first pony Annie who is really sweet and cheeky.

I am also interested in medicine. I’d like to do paediatrics but have been thinking of psychology or psyciatry as I have been exposed to it due to my depression. Or even oncology because my dad had been diagnosed with cancer a few years ago and I would want to help a family through a tough time like the doctors helped my dad.

i understand you have had your fair share of pain.

I feel like i am intruding in a private conversation or listening in when I shouldn’t be by writing in this thread. I am sorry if it feels like i am intruding.’

you do not have to answer these questions if you do not wish. I respect your privacy. Do you feel safer when you are in hospital? Do you recieve more support?

I hope you feel a little better soon.

Lulu

[LuLu_]

Hello dragonflies

I am 18 years old. I feel lonely as well and a bit sad. My friends are there but i am isolating myself again. I do that often. It’s weird because my best friend understands most of what I tell her because she’s been through it too but right now I feel misunderstood.

i do understand when you say you find it hard to be happy and bubbly. I feel like to be sociable and accepted in general this is how you must act. But most of the time I feel fake if I have to force that attitude. I’ve had some good days in the last month where I actually felt good. But at the moment I feel alienated from everyone. It’s like i am out of place. A shadow walking the halls, unoticed and alone.
i have three dogs. Winston (he is a cavoodle) Harley (he is a border collie) and Toby (a very naughty kelpie).
i too feel like I bring people down when I am more myself and negative. I am in recovery for severe depression and moderate anxiety but some days I feel nothing, think nothing and do nothing. I feel a bit like nothing as well. I like to read but I don’t have the concentration for that. Netflix is good but at the moment we don’t have internet. So I spend most moments in bed or riding my horse.

I have my last year 12 exam for this year on Friday. I had to split year 12 into two years as I became too sick. I am nervous about going back next year with a different year group.

i feel numb too. I try to make myself feel bad just to feel emotion. I think it’s self sabotage. I know it is bad but I just want to feel so badly.

i eat when I am bored as well. Given the choice I stay in bed with Toby by my side. He is the kelpie. I think what helps me is to have a small list of what i am going to do for the day.

1) go outside for a bit
2) see my horse
3) try to get dressed
4) eat something that fills me up
5) do something I enjoy

Usually it’s netflix. But I have found a new hobby. I draw in my colouring book. But i try not to be too hard on myself if I don’t accomplish these things

I hope you feel a little less alone
LuLu

[Padfoot02]

G’day Dragonflies

Thanks for the response, other than school (which is worse than what I was told) I like to read Harry Potter, play Pokémon and watch Sword Art Online (it’s a great anime, I would recommend it if your into anime as well). If you would like you can send me an email just so I don’t need to get my replies approved.

How do you like to spend your time? What have you been up to since you finished school? I have a mate who graduated this year and he told me he hasn’t been doing much.

[dragonflies]

Hey Padfoot02,

Unfortunately it is a rule to not get into other contact with members of the forum. I would be happy to continue our conversation on here? I don't mind checking in every now and then and waiting for approved posts if I get to continue conversations with people on here.

I don't do too much. Hang out with my dog, a little bit of cooking, cleaning, organising and laundry. I know right, I sound like a dag.

I went to uni first year out of school. Tried out commerce as I somehow managed to score a scholarship. Didn't go back next year and pulled out of second semester because I was that depressed and didn't care about anything - don't like wasting money on education when I don't put the effort in and get as much out of it as possible.

So I've just been working part time and my family recently moved house out of our old family home. Now just dad and my sister. So that was a big change for me. So far it has been positive considering how anxious I was to do the move. I watch a load of netflix and try to get into my reading. Usually its soppy love stories but I have recently found the author Jo Nesbo, who writes adult thriller murder mystery novels - so far they're been great. I love watching detective/murder mystery shows I don't know why. Just binge watched a show called stranger things was so good.

School does suck. I moved once because of trouble with some girls. At the new school I finished up purely focusing on my work and getting the most out of it. I barely went to school for anything other than class. It gave me purpose and a goal to work towards. Now I'm left 'goalless' and unmotivated. Do you enjoy any subjects at school? I get that they can be painfully boring too.