The great thing is that you just have...welcome... and you are free to chat here about anything that you feel comfortable sharing, we are here for you and we care. There is no judgement or criticism just care.
I hope to chat to you some more and hope we can provide you with some comfort today.
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You can start a new thread or you can continue on this one. Up to you. I am happy to chat some more to you if you want to talk about your story some more.
It is a funny old thing having surgery I have learnt here, that people can really be impacted in their mental health space after going through operations and also suffering injury through sport. I guess that is the thing with mental illness, it can impact anyone at anytime.
I am glad that you have reached out here though.
most my life has been plagued with depression /panic attacks ,OCD and the accompanying anxiety. i was doing ok up to May last year with the odd attack (mainly cause i avoided places and things that may trigger a panic attack). i drank a fair bit which gave me a false sense of security.
i had to get some fluid drained from around the heart last year , first is an elective and second as an emergency as the fluid formed again dangerously. i was petrified but funny enough less Anxiety that right now.
after the surgeries the panic attacks came back with vengeance especially after i fainted at the doctors office after surgery whilst getting checked out. Since then my life has turned upside down . the fear of fainting again had a tight grip on me. i started avoiding places, pre consumed myself with fear.
I sought help (Psychologist and psychiatrist), they decided to change antidepressant i have been on for 20 years. (in middle of trying a third one)
recently It has got so bad i cannot go out of the house,fear of panic attacks i'm bored silly, my OCD is running wild, my latest is going to bed around 6pm to escape (not to sleep but to stop the OCD -Checking). My old fear of not getting to sleep is right back so i figure if i go to bed early i will sooner or later fall asleep.
Im sorry if im rampling on
You are most certainly not rambling, that is what this space is for, for talking and sharing and getting some of the things that pile up off your chest.
Wow, that surgery sure does sound frightening and I guess it was needed so unavoidable however the terror and anxiety that it has left you with is so much, I can really hear that in your post. I have actually never fainted so I don't know what that is like, but I can hear how it is really impacting your life.
I am so very glad that you have some medical help with this, are there some things that you like to do during the day that can help with the boredom and also give you some sense of feeling good? It is ok if the answer is no but I would like to help you to find some things perhaps that you like to do.
I have found that writing really helps me gets through tough times, that I can purge onto a page and let it all out and then put it away, the pages own it...I mostly have not gone back to re read what I have written but it is nice to have it off my chest. When my brother passed away I had so much anger and what I wrote on those pages I would not want anyone to see, however it helped so much and helped me to manage it.
Do you feel like your current doctors are helping you with the emotional support you need too? Just that sometimes it takes a few doctors to get the right ones we connect with and that can then help.
There are some things that you can try to do to have like a bedtime ritual so as you can prepare for sleep, I am sure you have tried lots of things but we can talk about that too if you like?
Please do not apologize for anything, you come and chat and be in this space as much or as little as you need, and know that we are here for you when you need us.
Have a nice rest William and chat to you when you want to.
Huge hugs to you, stay strong my friend, you matter x