(Trigger warning) PTSD after being stabbed
Jase, nearly four years ago i was in a psych hospital, absolutely broken from PTSD, depression and anxiety. My life was in ruins BUT i am now sitting looking at the A380 that is going to carry me to the USA and watch my Seattle Seahawks play.
What i want to convey to is that you can recover. You have a mountain in front of you but you are one seriously tough mofo to get to where you are today. What you have been through is shockingly bad but you are getting up each day and actively recovering. Yes the road has speed humps in it, it always will but as time goes by, you will recover.
Never ever forget that despite all that has gone on, your record of getting through bad days in 100% and that is pretty dam good. So much respect and admiration for you.
Keep hitting those waves brother, we have your back.
Hi mark sorry to hear you was in hospital its tough i hope i have not contributed to your anxiety and relapce hey Mark you are a true inspiration and i understand do you think we will ever be truely happy cause i find myself doing things that make me happy but if im alone for to long i can spiral down even shortly after being with the people i would put my life on the line for and im alone i start thinking and thinking why was i born and thats when i realise i need to start my dream off helping others abused children give them support education fun actives and somewhere safe to live whilst i and a few very trusted hunt down the evil and serve them the justice they deserve what ever that maybe. This will hopefully consume all my energy and thoughts into something good for the children and the good people in our world we live in today
Safe travels my friend
Best wishes always
I'm writing to see how you are getting on, I've been thinking of you out by the ocean.
You were talking about when you are alone for too long things get worse.
I believe happiness is partly what life is dealing you - as in friends, no worries about the next meal / place to live, having peace with no hassles
It partly comes from what you've done, as in a hung on a difficult wave, helped a friend, looked at the stars in the universe above you at night
And it is partly learned. That last bit is a hard one to explain - I'm not sure I understand all it myself I am sure though that the more often I am happy or at peace, the more happy you and grounded I get. Maybe the black thoughts come less often as happy or peaceful thoughts don't leave them enough room to breed.
Thinking about your future and your plans where you will be able to do something is a good way to keep from spiraling down - doesn't always work of course but as you've found out for yourself it helps. Also being away from hassles by being on the beach.
I probably haven't put it really well - the important thing is you are doing a mighty job! Better than many would have.
Hi there Croix
Yeh you have put it well i will send you another post bit later got a great support network thats for sure and been keeping busy hanging with my good friends there is no surf here in perth really frustrating at times but good to wake up to the ocean every morning and no i have some very special friends including yourself
Hi everyone you no im sitting here at royal perth hospital as i write this post the very place i was at when i nearly lost my life last year friday the 13th my italian friend Vince who is the best metal fabricator and has is own company and work shop 3 days ago when i went to visit him i believed had another heart attack in the workshop so i told him to go to doctors well he didnt and for some reason i decided for the first time to go meet his wife and go to his home the minute i saw him i felt this overwhelming desire to get him to hospital well turns out he has had did hsve a heart attack and done possibility alot off damage to the heart would you believe the time was 10.13pm which is my birthday and 13 is now my lucky number after being stabbed on fri 13th vince could not believe it when i showed him the time as he was being wheeled into theater im sitting here waiting for him to come out hoping but somehow believing he is going to be ok
I really want my friend
To pull through this
That is amazing - and this time YOU were the helping friend - I guess what goes around comes around.
I've got my fingers crossed Vince pulls though ok.
I think only someone like you could think that being stabbed on the 13th could make it your lucky number!
Take care of oyurself
Jase, that is so friggin awesome what you did for him. You may very well have saved his life. Just think about that for a minute. You had a gut feeling, you followed it and you acted upon it. That is superior awesomesness right there.
Don't worry mate, you are not causing me any grief by engaging with you in here. I do it because i am so lucky to have recovered and i believe that I owe it those that are not to some how help them through their journey. I love doing it and believe it or not, I am actually thankful that I went through it, certainly wasn't fun at the time and still isn't at times, but it has opened my eyes a hell of a lot.
Yes i believe that you can get back to true happiness. For the most part I am but i am still recovering. I am so much more relaxed than i have been in years. I am not fussed by so much more than i used to be. If it is out of my control, I don't worry about it. I have times of extreme happiness which is not a normal level for healthy people but they are really cool as it reinforces to me that i still have the capabilities to feel alive, not just surviving but actually living.
Takes time dude, i know it is annoying massively, but in time, do the small things right, keep hitting the waves, when you feel crap be kind to yourself.
Playing in the snow here in Detroit with the kids is simply awesome but i know this is not natural but it is adding to the great memories to draw on when i have a crap day.
You have one hell of an awesome memory to think up when you have a crap day - you may well have saved your mates life. Yes it is a bad situation, but if you flip it to a positive, it is huge.
Sorry to hear that you are having a bad day mate but you got this, you have got through so many in the past. Use the experiences of getting through bad days and you will get through this one.
Any chance for a surf?
How is your mate going in hospital? You know the one that YOU may very well have saved his life.
Keep fighting mate, we have your back.