(Trigger warning) PTSD after being stabbed

Guest_08B8CB20 · ‎23-10-2016

I feel after i was stabbed nearly 1year ago in the chest heart arterie severed , punctured left lung ,fractured rib rushed to icu injuries were life threatening,i am struggling to deal with life i live in constant fear especially around people i public i have no family support but do have friends but i feel a burden to them all, the flashbacks are out off control especially when sleeping,i dont no what to do i dont have the desire to do much in life anymore i seam to have lost interest in working hobbies even going for a surf i have 4weeks left at were im staying now and the time has come for me to ask for help as i put on a brave face but deep down im feel broken, what do you suggest would be something that could help me with dealing with this nighmare i deal with everynight i go to sleep

Kazzl · ‎27-10-2016

Hi Jason, thanks for replying to me. How are you today mate? You've really been through some hard stuff eh?

It's difficult to open up to people if you feel you can't trust them, but I wonder if you could have another think about why you might not trust a psychologist - whether maybe you're just putting them in the same category as other people who have let you down? They're there to help, and your situation would not be new to them. They can't hurt you mate. Worth another try I reckon.

I also think you are probably not a burden on your friends - people often care more than we realise. Try not to distance yourself from them Jason because you're afraid of being a burden - hold on to them, friends can be precious at times like this. You would be there for them if the situation was reversed wouldn't you?

You've got a hard road to travel Jason, but you've had the courage to reach out for support here and with your friends, and there's more help out there if you can trust the professionals and the people who care. Things can improve for you. Take care mate, and I hope you'll keep talking to us.

Very best to you

Kaz

Guest_08B8CB20 · ‎27-10-2016

Hi Kaz , im going to give it a go with professional help im just had some not to pleasant in the past im waiting for them to get back to me my doctor put all information and referred me to community mental health so im on the waiting list im not the only person with ptsd and other issues so i guess im in the que and will have to wait my turn, im still reluctant but will just have to get over that and get the help i need otherwise im just existing and this is not how i want to live my life any longer i did however force myself to get up 630 this morning and go for a surf im going to try and keep that up its a good feeling being in the ocean all your thoughts seem to disappear whilst your out there i look forward to buying a campervan and waking up to that every morning thanks Kaz for communicating with me bye for now

Guest_08B8CB20 · ‎29-10-2016

Hi Kazz hope your well i was wondering if you received my last post regards jason

MarkJT · ‎30-10-2016

Jason, outstanding that you have been getting up and going for a surf. That is brilliant!! Getting back to the things we used to enjoy definitely helps us get on with our lives.

Also fantastic that you are in the process of engaging with a psych again. So much positivity coming out of you here. Keep it going. One day at a time. You can do this.

Mark.

Kazzl · ‎30-10-2016

Hiya Jason, good to see you mate. Hey I'm impressed with the early morning surf. Like Mark said, doing things we enjoy can help us get back on track. What was it like and how did you feel afterwards?

I sense a determination in you Jason. You are trying hard. Even though you've had some poor experiences with professionals, you're willing to try again because you really want to get better and get your life back. With that kind of attitude I reckon you'll get there my friend.

How are you feeling today?

Cheers

Kaz

Guest_08B8CB20 · ‎02-11-2016

Hi Mark well my friend I have to tell you that it's not that simple here in WA i just keep on hitting the wall i am trying my hardest to get help and there just is no one here who seams to be able to offer any unless your well off im done with this system im here in the waiting room as i write this it has come to the stage i really do not no anymore why i was put on this earth iwish i never woke up from ICU and i dont have the guts to end it myself today i been to center link trying to get DSP then district court to see victims support now the doctors, I spent the last 10 months living in a shed in an industrial area and now i have week left at a friend's place i cant afford accommodation on centerlink i will have to wait 10 to 12 month before I receive a cent from criminal compensation how i ask are you supposed to get better when i cant stay in mens hostle cause thats were i nearly died from some lunatic i am terrified off being around people i just want to be alone i really dont like this world we live in today i still cant believe the guy was given bail before i was out off ICU lost all trust in the system

MarkJT · ‎10-11-2016

Jacezz, I apologise for taken so long to get back to you.

Can see by your last post that there is a great deal of frustration built up and can i say, it is fully justified.

You were put on this earth to live a life and although your life at the moment in your eyes, is not the greatest it could be, i so want you to keep going. You mentioned that you had got back into the ocean for a surf. Make this your anchor point. Mine was running - whenever I felt crap, which was often i would go for a run. Out by myself and loved it and still do.

Get out into the waves, listen to the ocean, feel the water, i mean really feel it - use it as mindfulness. Whilst all the other stuff is going on and you are working on your trust issues and lack of resources for you, you can use the ocean as the place where you can go and no one can disturb you. Just you, your board and the waves.

Please keep on engaging with us on here, again i apologise for not getting back sooner.

Cheers

Mark.

Ballsy · ‎16-11-2016

Hi Jacezz,

I worked in in a pub while studying at uni to become a police officer. One night, two men walked in wearing balaclavas and one man had a shot gun and the other had scissors. i was not trained to deal with the incident and did as the robbers asked. I had the shotgun pointed at me and the man with scissors came around behind the bar with the scissors held at my stomach. They demanded for money from the main gaming safe (mind you, there was no time delay sticker displayed- company non-compliance) and I had to explain that I could not get into it as it was on a time delay. This made the guys pretty angry and the screaming and swearing at me got worse. I distracted them by taking cash from the gaming till and gave them all I could. All this lasted a matter of 3 minutes and I have never been the same since. It hurt me most knowing that the manager on duty seen the robbers and what was going on and he went and hid .. coming out from where he was after the robbers left pretending he had no idea what had just happened. I have been through many counsellors, I have been unable to continue my studies in the police force (due to my severe PTSD) and I can never see myself being able to work with the public ever again. I tried to stay off medication but it got that bad for me, I've finally been prescribed and my thoughts have settled a whole lot better. The problem is now I cannot trust anybody, I distance myself from people and I am so so insecure, I simply can't connect with people anymore. Victim services paid me next to nothing for my phsycological injury and a terrible IME doctor classed me as only 13% whole person impairment which will not allow me to sue the hotel I worked at for negligence and non compliance. I had to be 15% impaired. Just 2% more. I am definitely a lot more than that.

I was was not physically harmed like you were. I am so sorry you had to deal with such violence. I can totally understand though how you feel and how hard it is to keep fighting. It seems impossible when you can't trust another. You feel trapped and alone and feel there is no purpose in this life. Can I ask you, are you on medication?

MarkJT · ‎16-11-2016

Ballsy, welcome to the forums and for telling your story. It takes great courage to type what you did and you are in a very supportive and protective environment.

That is one very nasty experience that you have gone through. Like you I was resistant to medication as I wanted to see how far i could take my recovery before going to them. I lasted nearly two years before i plateaued so made the decision to get on them and they have helped greatly.

Your 13% is not surprising to me. A friend of mine (ex police officer) was judged at 28% when we (coppers) need 30% to sue. He is well over that so you are not the lone ranger there....unfortunately.

Are you getting on going clinical treatment from a psych?

Do you practice mindfulness at all?

Keep posting mate, really want to hear how you are going.

I was diagnosed with PTSD, depression and anxiety in 2013 so i have a special interest in PTSD.

Jacezz, how are you traveling of late?

Regards

Mark.

Guest_08B8CB20 · ‎26-11-2016

Hi Kazz i have just manage to reset my password its late now so i will touch base with you all over the next few days as i was really enjoying talking to you all and taking on board your advise thanks for your support regards Jason