This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[wail]

Greetings Quirky- famous people are so over rated, they make me just so happy to be a normal irregular person. Tonight on Foreign Correspondent on the ABC, it is about some Italian people who operate an open water lifesaving service to prevent boat people drowning. 'Open Arms' that is their logo and I am in awe of these inspirational people.

The covid lockdowns have been a difficult time as here in Australia, we are not used to adversity. I miss working because I miss seeing people.

'When your alone and life is making you lonely, you can always go, Downtown.

When you've got worries all the noise and the hurry, seem to help you know, Downtown

Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city, linger on the sidewalk where the neon lights are pretty,

How can you lose, the light's so much brighter there, you can forget all you troubles, forget all your cares....

[wail]

As usual, I got it wrong- Open Arms, is a Spanish non government organization and I am sending them $20. M.

[quirkywords]

wail sounds like a worthwhile cause.

Any pointers on responding to criticism.

I find lately I seem to get teary when people unfairly complain about me even if it is just a small thing. I think it is tiredness .

I have read up on ignoring the irrelevant comments, questioning the generalizations and leaving all complaints for 24 hrs. Also asking a friend to tell you if there is substance in the complaint.

I find one has to be rational to respond like that, I just want to cry!! I am too old to blame hormones!!!

[wail]

Greeting Quirky sending you hugs and good will to help you though your low moments.

Criticism is never easy to hear or stomach because it is abrasive and rough, if only people stopped to think, a lot of criticism could be avoided. Because some people are completely thoughtless and this my Quirky friend will never change.

But what we can practice is learning to change our response, remember; taking time out for your self can lessen the hurt. Take a walk and pick some flowers, read a poem , hug a tree. Do nice things for yourself to help yourself feel better. I practice deep breathing during stressful emotions. 4 breaths in and 4 out to begin with.

What people say is less important when you can distract yourself with your own kindness and creativity and it is never easy to experience uncomfortable emotions but these uncomfortable emotions will pass if we can accept them as part of the course and then turn our attention back to helpful / hopeful tasks.

It is all about choosing our own way and it is something we can all strive for. Quirky time heals and I am on your side. M.

[quirkywords]

wail

you are very kind.

I do all those self care things but I wonder does having bipolar make me more sensitive. I a, very self sware so I dont need someone pointing out my faults, but I wan to know can you stop yourself getting teary when someone says something negative and not always negative. I am like an animal who sense she is being attacked and instantly protects herself even unnecessarily.

being a senior and crying because someone says I should do B not A, is really not a good look!!!

Not sure if I am alone like this but have been like this most of my life but as I get older I seem more sensitive.

Not sure if this makes any sense.

[asdff]

Quirky, I don’t do criticism. As in I can’t handle it. My husband says something and I snap. He responds with I get constructive criticism at work ten times a day. I say that is why I’m not in paid work I can’t cope with criticism.

[asdff]

Quirky, I would say it is a bipolar thing but only because I’m exactly the same. I do not need someone to tell me I’m not doing it right. Or not looking right. I already know that. In fact it’s pretty rare for me to feel I’ve got it right. So when someone points out you haven’t made the bed right, washed the and folded the sheets right, cooked the right etc etc. I explode because in my head it’s all not right.

[quirkywords]

Asdff

is there a club for us those who rarely feel we do things right.

I suppose I never feel things are right because I worry I have done something wrong snd someone will find out.

[velvetfaerie]

Rejection sensitive dysphoria.....look it up.

[quirkywords]

I did Velvet. THanks I will add RSD to my labels.

I had all the behaviours of RSD.

It says bipolar may really be RSD.

when I came to this forum I had one label now Iam thinking about another 2.