This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[asdff]

Lisa, how lovely is your daughter? I love reading, it’s the perfect escape. It keeps my head quiet.

[quirkywords]

Asdff I would join you in the easily distracted event, too funny.

we could have two events me hoarding objects then

you chucking them Out . What team we would make!,,

[wail]

Hugs to Quirky, Big wave to Asdff, Hey to Velvet and Sorry to Lisa, sorry for not understanding your family troubles.

And the radio in my head has ended, probably because I had a great sleep and all is back to usual.

Quirky, I am also guilty of stealing, at around 20yrs, my addiction was drugsand it was a dog eat dog crowd that I was hanging around. Lisa, I am sorry your step son has food addiction, Asdff mentioned, it is good to read about other peoples health issues and today I will read about food addiction, so please know that I have sympathy for you and him. There may even be a thread for him to seek fellowship because people who need people are the luckiest people in the world. Wasn't Barbra Gorgeous!!!

Sorry to all, the radio wave in my head tunes in and out and I actually sing the words as the wave flows through me. The general public can be very cool or totally put off by me. My darling husband, my wing man will actually sing along with me, when saving face calls for it, this is why I treasure him so dearly.

Velvet are you nesting in readiness for you pooch ie, Treats and toys? And Quirky my, event would be singing and crochet, I donate preterm baby wear to the womens and childrens hospital. Hopefully these small gestures rebalance my give and take scale. Everyone needs the opportunity to get well and make good on their errors.

Fingers crossed we all have a lovely day and thank you beyond blue for this forum, thank you thank you

[velvetfaerie]

Hey Lisa.... ah food addiction. Still symptomatic of self medication and addiction.

I might watch the paraolympics this afternoon. I need to see something positive and inspiring. My afternoon yesterday was traumatic and exhausting. So much so I called a helpline again. I don't bother with friends anymore as they don't listen but use the opportunity to focus on themselves. I swear everyone is a narcissist.

Not gonna relive it. Humans are vile. I won't share that bit.

But psychiatrist appointments are always tiring lol. So are friends who continue to dump on me. I've not shared anything regarding myself to my friends because they simply don't show interest. They call and vent and rant for an hour non stop. I had 3 people yesterday and day before do that and my father on Sunday.

Psych gave me some advice. Identified I'm carrying my stuff and other people's stuff and that's why I'm so exhausted and always sick.

Time to be protective of myself.

[asdff]

Oh Velvet, you don’t need people handing their sh$t on you. Boundaries are good. If people don’t respect them be like the dog in your profile pic and show your teeth.

Hi to everyone else.

[asdff]

That was meant to saying hanging. Lol. They might hand their sh&t to you but hand it back.

[velvetfaerie]

Believe me asdff, I'm on a learning curve. Being on the correct meditation has helped a lot.

Today I was having a snack... snack snack at work. My phone rang. My personal phone that work pays nothing toward. It was a colleague. *reject call*

It's only just the start. 😁 I will no longer feel obliged to interact with anyone.

[wail]

Good one as usual to Asdff and compassion to Velvet.

Velvet your proactive choice to ring a help line is impressive. I have thought about doing it but I haven't had the guts. I guess they listened and give some comfort. What was the person who answers the phone like ?

Asdff I agree, firstly yes the dog in velvets profile is dangerously attractive but seriously I think relationship boundaries are super great. I enact my boundaries daily within my marriage. My husband is coming good but residual negativity is present in his manner. Today he got over stressed researching a future purchase, this behavior used to make me feel that I had to make a hasty decision, to stop the negative vibes. But the learning curve Velvet mentioned, has taught me to hold my boundaries high above his behavior. So I met a friend at the shops and we ate the $2 KFC large chips at the park opposite. As we sat there some sort of tree pod must have opened and we were showered in some sort of pollen. My friend said, that me her and her dog probably just got impregnated. And I laughed so much that it hurt and I needed the loo.

Velvet tomorrow is Saturday and I hope that is a day off for you, you deserve to let your hair down. Asdff I don't know your schedule but I wish you a wonderful weekend all the same. Cheers M.

[quirkywords]

I am enjoying watching the Paralympic games.
hello everyone.

[velvetfaerie]

Wail = the help lines are amazing. I cannot commend them enough.

The doggo in my picture always makes me giggle.

I want chippies.

Well..... I'm going to wash my hair same yeh? ...... I have a lot of hair so it's a bit of an effort.