This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

Asdff I used to slam doors a lot and break things when manic when younger. Once I had my own children I apologised to my parents because I realised how upsetting my behaviour was.

[amberlite]

autism calling, when I look at quirkywords picture I am itching to tidy your library picture. See how my picture is centered. This is what I get most out of this site Diversity and the ability to do emersion therapy. Thank you all for your presence.bye

[Airies]

amber lite, I assume it’s a dung beetle. V identified the correct name a while back. That’s me constantly rolling around in the poo.
Quikys picture takes me back to the early 80s in my first job , studying and I had to shelf all the returned books. No sooner were they straight then a class of students would grab books. Cooking students were the worst and I still can reel of certain numbers of the Dewey Decimal System.

id love a punching bag but I’ve got enough crap lying around.Frustration and anger are a big one for me these days yet as a child, teenager and until I fell apart was gentle and reserved. Excercise was and is an outlet and yet like a volcano I’ve exploded and never been the same since.

Asdff I’m the gardener , i delight in growing home grown veggies from seed. Weeds , mostly on my hands and knees for some and spray for others. My garden these days is very user friendly. It has to be .
cheers

[amberlite]

Hi autism again,

A dung beetle by any other name would smell as sweet. "Shakespeare". LOL. I respect insects they are 40% of the animal kingdom. Collecting facts is one of my annoying habits.

So not all people are born with the condition Bipolar? that is interesting.

Is it already in you nature or is it nurtured by circumstance?

Forgive my bold questions, I am genuinely curious and I am annoying by nature! Bye

[quirkywords]

amberlite

that was a picture from the back verandah of my shop( no no longer) , so the shelves were constantly being touched and moved.

Aries I am a great fan of the dewey system too. My first job as a uni student was at the local library shelving returned books but this was in late 1970s. I remember that at the time people would say the book was lost because there was only a $3 fee for replacing a lost book. The librarians soon realised that people were keeping luxurious art books and other beautiful books for $3. So then they made people replace a lost book at the cost price of the book. The number of lost books went down considerably.

[asdff]

Hi Amberlite, I am going to try and answer your question. Some components of bipolar we are born with, as in if a parent has it you may or may not get it. My psychologist thinks my Dad has it. Along with his PTSD. Bipolar needs an active breeding ground, there needs to be some traumatic event/s and/or stress for it to develop. Please jump in here any other Bipolar people. Amberlite my biggest fear is, if I have passed this terrible disease onto my children. I didn’t know I had Bipolar two when I had children. I just knew I was depressed.

[quirkywords]

Amberlite

there is no. Genetics for bipolar in my family. I thin it is one of those things. I think that I have a mineral deficiency that causes my mood swings. I take that mineral and I am better.

[thegalah]

Hello

my wife of over 30 years was diagnosed as having mania and depressive episodes by her psychologist about 8 years ago but she refuses to see a psychiatrist or take meds. She has long manic angry episodes, hyper-vigilance and delusions about other women. She has been admitted to hospital 5 times for assessment but they just put her in a cab home once she has calmed down. My kids have left home and blocked her out of their life which has made the situation worse (because she says I’m to blame). Recently, I held her arms during an episode to stop her biting me and now she has told all her friends and neighbours I abuse her physically. It got so bad I left home. Now I’m getting bombarded with messages and phone calls about my mental health. She is lying about seeing her psychologist and she is in denial about her mental health. She says she feels great. I love her dearly but feel so helpless. I fear she will do something reckless. I hope the mania subsides so we can talk to her rationally about her behaviour. If anyone could help and love to understand what to do.

[asdff]

The galah,you could ring her psychologist.

[asdff]

Off I go to bother psychologist appointment. I’m doing everything I can to get out of this hOle. Why does it beaver get easier?