This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[velvetfaerie]

Hey dudes. Not much to report here. Epic party on the weekend. Still recovering post op. I felt so SEXY in my compression stockings from my toes to my waist HAHAHA! Walking only still - better than nothing I guess. Small term pain, long term gain! Just cruising through life at the moment while I can. Awaiting psychiatrist appointment.

Some household items sure are expensive. Lots of things are expensive 😕 My home is an ecclectic mish mash of things that were hand me downs / second hand, including the man thing HAHA. I just cannot justify exorbitant expense on tossy items. Add to land fill and line the pockets of the already rich. I also hate sales people. Op shops are awesome.

So yeh. Ho hum here. Glad to see you are all well.

[asdff]

$7,000 for a side board. That is pricey. Like Velvet and Quirky I am more of a bargain hunter. I would probably not fall in love with a $7K sideboard 🙂 I might find something that could be restored. Not by me but by someone with talent.

Velvet, got to love the sexy post op stocking. I've only worn the socks but they made me feel like I was on a plane, so I went with it.

[asdff]

Another question for you all? Do you get face creams, sunscreen in your eye/s on a regular basis? I do. It hurts, I know it’s because I am rushing when I put them on. I will go a day or two of taking care when applying, then back to rushing.

[quirkywords]

Velvet

I wonder if you were as sexy as I am in my flannelette pyjamas , thick bed socks and a hit water bottle with a cover in shape of a dog.

asdff I always get cream in my eyes.n

[Lisa611]

Don't you just hate it when you write a post and it disappears. Take two.

I like restored furniture but my partner's place is modern. My daughter who has been doing her room up has been buying second hand furniture off Facebook market place. Her room is starting to look good.

I left work early today and am not going in tomorrow. The principal said she wants to talk to me about the amount of leave I've taken. I have accrued sick leave so I'm not to worried about it. I'm entitled to take sick leave. They usually talk to you if you have had more than 5 days off without a doctor's certificate. I will just have to get a dr's cert from now on.

V- I was wondering if you had had your assessment. I also hate sales people. I usually walk away and leave my partner to talk with them.

Quirky- I'm not to sure about having insight into my behaviour when I'm not well. The first time I got sick I was nearly scheduled. I realised I wasn't well because I was in hospital. I thought that the first time was a one off. I went over 10 years before I had another episode. Once again I didn't realise I was unwell until I was hospitalised. I guess I was in denial. I'd like to think that I now know the symptoms of when I'm becoming unwell and that I would pick it up myself and have the insight to know that my behaviour and way of thinking were skewed. I rely on my partner and kids to tell me if they think I'm becoming unwell.

Spaghetti bolognaise for dinner tonight. I just have the sauce minus the pasta. Yum. I'm hungry.

[asdff]

Lisa, when I am becoming unwell I do things like straighten the pantry. Making sure the labels are facing the front.

[quirkywords]

Hello all

Lisa I only lose my well written thoughtful post not my ones full of typos.

I find I only know when ihave done too much after I have done too m7ch.

asdff, if I started tidying up my partner would think I was unwell!,

I start making lots of plans send emails start organising things and then in the morning see boxes and drawers all unfinished and I read replies from emails I should not have sent.

[Airies]

Closest things to face creams for me is the sun screen. Can relate I tend to get way too much and agree it stings bigtime . It might even be the brand as well. Have fun with chamois cream that does get everywhere and without it it’s not much fun.

I hate when your posts disappears especially when typing with fat fingers it takes forever.
V I feel for you with the compression stockings. Shocking things I had them after my hip and then on long haul flights they were prescribed after my DVTS. Luckily a change in meds and no more stockings for me. All the best in your ongoing recovery.
My stepfather is now out of hospital after a month, it was touch and go for a while, down to 50kgs and having physio at home 4 times a day as he’s yet to get on his feet.

Had a rude awakening at 4:00 am, my daughter in law was getting dropped off after a night out, one idiot decides to yell out , my wife and I had just gone to the loo few minutes before this so thinking the worst we both run outside. Anyway all good I don’t know what I would have said or done but fight or flight kicked in, I struggled to get back to sleep as I was wired. It was just like responding to an incident at work. Anyway daughter in law apologised, not her fault.

i dont think I’ve ever been well in recent years. I buy things, gone to hospital, there’s a constant need to fill a void. I’m glad I find like minded souls here. Lately discovered Instagram so following heaps of people and then not and then again and trying to spruce up my posts. It’s madness. It’s like a constant flow, no it’s like Niagara Falls and occasionally I find solace.

I should be grateful for so much , I am but at the same time not.I slowly realising I’m writing a long long post. My wife and I are heading off to the Murray in a month for a few days.
Tomorrow off to the drs to organise COVID-19 jab and hopefully some sleepers. Do others find they clench their teeth or find their hands are shaking as a side effect of this condition?

Quirky have you tried a warm wheat pack? Far safer then hot water bottles

[velvetfaerie]

Stockings are a precaution for me post op. Partying in them on the weekend was hilarious, but after a few rum cocktails you stop caring.

I am about to chuck a wobbly. Twice I have asked to book leave with notice, twice I have been ignored, and it seems because everyone else is more important. I am SICK of being discriminated against! This is what causes hatred and divide and I can tell you now, I HATE a certain demographic with an absoloute passion. There is NO such thing as positive discrimination.

[Airies]

Back from my new GP. She didn’t know what I was referring to this form with COVID, referred other stuff back to me re vascular surgeon and meds back to psych. Hello wasn’t that her job and to top it off my files hadn’t come across from the other practice where we previously lived.

I rang up my old practice, even the receptionist was far more friendly and said was it ok to see my old doc and cancel any requests from this other practice. Not happy with the misinformation either re COVID , so much for a help line