This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

Aries

When I was manic long before the internet was a spendahokic but I didn’t even value what I bought and used to leave purchases on a bus or anyway do I wouldn’t have to explain to parents or husband what I had bought.

When I first had shop I spent lots on ebay and learnt from my mistakes.

everyone have a relaxing weekend .

Velvet hop you are ok and find some time to care for yourself.

[Airies]

I must be in a constant state of moderately manic as I’m always buying stuff, being over the top. Now I’m going nuts on Instagram, tomorrow it will be something else. Today is a couch day so so cold, hail overnight. The dog and me will watch tv.

Trying to get the phizer jab organised. A few hoops to jump through being over 50 and a history of clots. Anyway first stop is the GP. Echo quirkys sentiments.. be kind to yourselves. Hope you are ok Velvet

[asdff]

It’s exhausting being us. I feel like I’ve got a motor driving me to do things. Can I not sit still and enjoy a book or just sit? Nope. My mind is saying it’s time to cook. So I’m off to buy ingredients. I make a mess in the kitchen. At least the family has nice things to eat.

Velvet, if you are reading drop in and say hi.

[Airies]

It sure is, last night went out for dinner with my wife at her work. Had to wait an hour for her to finish, had a drink, just a pot of beer, felt right out of place eventually ate, a noisy environment shouldn’t have had dessert. Anyway 2 hours from wo to go , a headache, night full of dreams and today arvo in bed with a little help from my friends.

[quirkywords]

asdff

someone said it was exhausting living with me, I said you should try being me.

I am working so hard to please partner but he can chat two hrs with friends but when they go he tells me to be quiet and he goes to bed. Sure I know he gets tired but he is so sweet and kind to everyone bar me.!!!

[asdff]

Yes Quirky, people should try being like us. My husband said to me why do you spend hours in the kitchen? I was too busy to answer. Once I was done. I said in reply to your kitchen question... I am hypomanic. Quirky I hope your husband apologies to you.

[quirkywords]

Asdff

I never get an apology just move on and forget it was ever said.

I am trying to be my best friend instead of my own worst enemy.

That’s the plan.

[quirkywords]

Velvet

just wanting say hello and we are thinking of you.

[Lisa611]

Quirky sounds like you are feeling unappreciated. Nobody likes to be taken for granted. I hope your partner realises how lucky he is to have you.

Had a good weekend. Saw my youngest daughter on Saturday. Brought her some plants and pots for her room. It's looking good. Was supposed to see other daughter tonight but she is caught up at a bridal shower. Partner and I went to look at new furniture at different shops over the weekend. Saw some nice coffee tables and side boards. One side cabinet we saw was $7000!!! Way out of our price range lol. Best part was stopping for coffee and carrot cake. I love carrot cake. Am feeling ok not so low which is good. Am hoping the AD are still kicking in psych said it takes between 6-12 weeks.

Hope everyone had a good weekend.

[quirkywords]

Greetings to all

Lisa since I have been volunteering at op shop I find it hard to buy anything new as there are so many bargains in great condition for very cheap prices.

Glad you had a nice time with daughter.

I was thinking about insight into our behaviour and how you gained it. We’re you like me and in denial for a long time.?