This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[velvetfaerie]

How about martial arts AND bi polar rage? 😉

I was on path for being an academic, but my home life and mental health took that from me. As i got older, i decided to make a grab for what I could, as best I can, within my means. And I managed.

I have apologised to people for my mistakes. I have also been on the receiving end of poor behaviour and treatment. Sometimes I got an apology. Sometimes I didn't. MEh.

Trying not to fall asleep. I want to go home.

V.

I think managing a business is pretty hard core Quirky. That is tax, ordering, accounting, staff, (maybe), insurance... so many things. Audits.

[quirkywords]

hello everyone

V, now you tell me what is involved and all I thought it was reading books all day!

So many people tell me that want a bookshop so they can read books all day, yes, that's what I do all day!!

No staff , but buying, ordering, sorting, tidying, choosing, tax, stocktake, .

I wonder if there are more academics with bipolar or writers, or poets or actors? ,

V hope you get rest soon.

Quirky

[velvetfaerie]

AHAHAHAH !

That was funny.

Well a fair few of the great trend setting artists/actors/musicians were bipolar, are bipolar or were suspected to be bipolar. As for academics.... i think that is true too.

V.

[quirkywords]

Seriously thinkers and readers,

does anyone else think that bipolar is sometimes romanticised the media to the extent it is seen as desirable in order to be creative. I know this is trying to counteract stigma but really it is not romantic and has a very serious side.

Am I not much fun anymore and too cynical or can anyone relate?

Quirky

[Tams20]

Hi everyone,

Quirky I’m a civil engineer and not even the designing type - I work in construction - not creative at all! My psych says being able to visualise how everything fits together and the sequencing of work is quite ‘creative’ but I’d use the word ‘practical’... academically I’ve always been pretty good, although I have problems concentrating. The only way I can get things to sink in is to take copious notes - studying just by reading is hard, my mind wanders too much.

I used to be very good at music, so maybe that’s the creative part? I’m now a ‘non-praticing’ musician due to kids and work and stuff. I suppose the talent is still there...

Tams

[velvetfaerie]

I was very good at music once too. I played gigs in bands and all. But that dried up few years ago because of time etc too.

Painting too..... but badly.

Acting also.

Writing.....

Pre coffee here so.... thought process is fractured.

[quirkywords]

hello creative people would be creative people and paractical people and everyone,

Tams I think people sometimes see creativity as only applying to the arts but I seeitvas having a very wide meaning. An engineer needs too think creatively, and so do mathematicians and scientists. I am tone deaf and have no musical bone in my body but I like music and to sing but have been banned from singing in public!

I can see a band forming with Tams and. Velvet, any more takers?

Velvet, you have many talents.

I suppose there are are creative people who do not have bipolar and bipolar people who are not creative. I feel while Imlike to write a bit I am not really creative in any other area like music , visual arts but I do like asking questions. is that creative or annoying??

Quirky

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone especially newcomers reading this for the first time.,

Sometimes when you look at a thread and there are several names that occur a lot, people wonder if the should join in, YES please.

We are a friendly bunch here and it is a safe place to be yourself or ask questions or just to read. It can be very confusing if you have been recently diagnosed.

Everyone is welcome here, people who have around a while, newbies, people who read but don't post, all are welcome.

The very first post on this thread is a great piece about how one person finds bipolar and the mood swings likening it to an elevator going up and down. Worth a read if you have not seen it.

Did everyone have a good weekend or a hectic weekend or??

Quirky

[velvetfaerie]

I’m very tired. Very hectic Sunday. Very very fun. Met a fellow bipolar today you guys may have heard of - Richard Dreyfus. Very cool dude. Loved a chat. We spoke about being bipolar for a short while. He has zero shame or regrets which is ok. I think he directed a lot of he energy into his roles. He seemed to agree.

anyway... I think bipolar people who are creative use the creative outlet as medication in a way. Distraction. 🤔

I need sleep very bad. 😆

v.

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone

Velvet,

That is wonderful to meet Richard Dreyfus. Was it a chance meeting or was it after a performance or a talk. zero shame and regrets, I would like to be like that but I have a long way to go. I think directing energy into roles can work unless it takes too much away from you so that you are empty.

Creative outlet as medication, that is a fascinating theory, I will meet to think about that.

Sending restful sleep your way and to everyone that needs it including me!!

Quirky