This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

How is everyone?

does anyone find going on long train trips and public hard. 
I get travel sickness but am trying to be positive. 
Aries have you had your colonoscopy.

velvet how are you feeling ?

Asdff what’s happening in your life. .?

[Airies]

Hi folks,

just recovering from photo dynamic therapy. 40 min session where your face is exposed to a light, very warm and a bad dose of sun burn. Gets rid of skin cancers.Not much fun but like many I spent lots of time in the sun when young and still do.

Will be a new man once my hip replacement done later in the year.

i find trips outside the norm challenging. My wife does the bulk of the driving. Train trips are ok as long as I don’t get stressed with myki and the right platform.

Luckily enough to go on a cruise next year. I’ve been known to dive into our cabin (indoors) so I don’t know what time it is or miss a few port’s because I can’t be bothered 

[quirkywords]

Never been on a cruise. They seem quite expensive. 
Aries when I was a teen I covered myself in coconut oil and sat in the sun!! there was no such thing as sun protection. Each year our noses would peel in  summer.

[quirkywords]

Aries I worry I would get seasick 

finally made my long train trips trip to see grandchildren. Very tiring. 

[velvetfaerie]

I like train trips, I just don't like crowds of people. My train line reopens in 2 months. HOORAH!!! 

[velvetfaerie]

And I fidgeted and hit reply too soon. Oops.

Anyway, my life is boring for now. I find out tomorrow if I have IBD. 

I like the sun when exposed in healthy amounts. We need it. Terrestrial life needs sunlight.  

Yesterday I did a full on workout at the gym. We were in pairs and my partner was a stacked young man. Fit & strong. He looked like he could have been in the military. Polite. Well dressed. Encouraging team vibe. 

The good news is, I survived. Today? Oh my muscles are mad. I'm sure I only survived because he didn't work to his full potential. 

I have a new hobby to try out once I'm organised. My aim, (pun intended), is to meet new people and gain a new skill.

[asdff]

Hi all, I’m back and going to read about what you’ve all been up to. We’ve had some sickness in the house, cold and cough. One kid had to be picked up early due to low iron, now on iron tablets. 

[asdff]

Oh dear it seems we’ve all been in the toilet more than usual. I had an issue of the weekend where the colonoscopy prep would have helped. I hadn’t had a bowel movement in 7 days. Eventually got things moving. I need to register for my bowel cancer test kit. 

Quirky I am okay on the train, long trips I get a bite bored and fidgety. 

[velvetfaerie]

Asdff you poor sausage!

I tell ya what, you'd be too afraid to leave the house if you had some of the bowel prep LOL!!

[asdff]

For sure Velvet, I’ve heard it clears you out rather quickly. I’m usually at that end of the scale not the clogged up end. Definitely have IBS. My husband can’t believe I don’t go everyday. how good is it to have some sunshine? Although it’s short lived.