This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[asdff]

Quirky, I’m sending strength. I hope you can find some joy. 🌹🌺🌻

[Airies]

Hi folks, all over the shop.  Struggling trying to maintain a routine. I just can’t.

Asdff, when I was younger I spent a lot of time in the sun and still do.Had a skin check done a while ago and a few skin cancers found. My wife who is blessed with pale skin was squeaky clean. Years ago they ran the slip slop slap  promo to encourage people apply sunscreen. I think just do it.

Velvet I Love your ability to say it as it is.

Quirky how are you doing?

I find notifications re this thread are hit and miss.

I hope Winter flies by. Not a fan.

[quirkywords]

Asdff I am ok, I usually rely at nights when I feel tired but I am ok. My partner is 4 score years so will never change. I am trying to adapt . this is a safe place because most people would not believe his behaviour to me . I have joy with my grandchildren I walk a lot I like sorting out books at charity shop. 
What gives joy to others.

Aries ,I use to sunbake covered in coconut oil. So far I am ok. 
Velvet I like the way you think and your self confidence. 
We are an are a supportive group and are here for each other. 
Thanks everyone 

[velvetfaerie]

Oh man I have so many issues following with the new format here. 

Sunscreen = yes yes yes!!! People always think I'm 10yrs younger than I really am and I thank sunscreen, and probably the only good genes my parents gave me!!! 

I don't act my age. It helps. 

Winter. Boy it chucked it down here yesterday. Had some local flooding in and around work. 

Controlling partners = not a fan. My dad does it to mum and a couple of men tried with me. Nope. Be gone.

Oh... I have a new magic trick = weight loss without trying. I have a few other symptoms, and genetics ARGH!! I need my thyroid tested.

I did joke to one of my colleagues who I like that I wasn't able to get an organ removed this year in order to avoid helping him.

I hope I didn't jinx myself.

[quirkywords]

 Velvet  you make me smile,e think and nod all at same Time

[velvetfaerie]

Quirky, I'm actually flattered by that.

Most people are dismissive of me or use me as a convenience or target for their own frustrations. 

As sad as it makes me, I'm learning I don't need to accept that treatment. 

I'm going to try a new hobby in a week or so. At the moment I think I have a germ, so, it will be once I feel better. New skill. New hobby. Maybe a new friend or two?

Can't hurt can it? 

[Airies]

 Velvet, nothing ventured nothing gained or so they say. I think you underestimate yourself and the influence you have here. There’s nothing like a new hobby. I struggle with most things.

Finding it so so hard to cycle in Winter, Gym is on thee burner for 3 months mental health grounds keeps them confused.My body aches through inactivity. It’s weird.

Asdff, how are you doing?

[velvetfaerie]

I never think of myself as an influence. I'm just me. True to myself and authentic, which fake folks find threatening. Pfft.

My body gets mad when I'm not active too Airies!!!! I have to rest at the moment though. Half of my workplace is sick. Some very sick. I'm sick but it's mild at the moment. The fever hit me hard yesterday, and fatigue, aches etc.... mild respiratory symptoms too. The fatigue is REALLY annoying 😑 

[quirkywords]

Aries I haven’t had a hobby for decades. I walk a lot but am feeling very tired lately and have had little sleep or very disrupted sleeep for over 40 years.

velvet I admire your determination and commonsense. Asdff how are you.?.

[asdff]

I hit the ground floor on the weekend. People usually only see me upbeat saw me crying/sobbing. I explained at the time what was going on. I used to keep myself in the house during those periods but that isn’t helpful. I had to be around people and knew it. I was able to get up quicker than usual. It’s just hard for people to see, it’s not the easiest illness to explain. So you were fine (well you looked fine) and today you are fighting for your life? Yes.