This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[Airies]

Rather fortunate that my tumbles have been in soft grass. I think it’s from not thinking things through like rather then turn the bike around completely and then taking off, I do it half way through.I do think the meds cloud my judgement. I have to be more careful.

im so glad there’s still some good out there Velvet and it’s going to the right people. Candles are calming , often a beautiful scent and even warming. Good news about the car. Ours is playing up but we can’t get in before 2 weeks.
Hope everyone is doing ok

[Airies]

Asdff, children are hard work as you know. Reminds me of one of my own when growing up mid teens just hard work, Must be the hormones and the other sounds just like my other child polar opposite’s and now they’re both wonderful adults, completely different but wouldn’t change a thing.

I hope you upcoming appointment goes well and things improve

[asdff]

Velvet, yay for car being fixed at no cost. Double yay for lovely friend picking you and the sassy candle. I love scents and perfumes. Some are off putting but most I like.

Airies, yes some meds will make you not think things through. My Mum is on a pain relief one at the moment that makes her off spacey. I know her so well, I can finish her sentences.

Today is meh. Is meh even a word? Probably. It’s average. Cold, wet and soggy. Hopefully I will get to library before it closes. I need some escapism.

[Airies]

Asdff, Fiction or non Fiction. I love a good book.I think meh is a word , even if not we know what it means.Can relate. Chose not to go for a walk, chose not to ride. Dogs on my lap , heaters on and still cold. Tomorrow is another day

[velvetfaerie]

Meh is totally a word. I had a tee shirt with it emblazoned across it. It's apathy.

I'm glad the falls were in grass Airies!!! Small mercy.

Car needed new battery. I pushed it today and the car had a very short delay on ignition. So I called the RAC and just got it done. Met a cool guy. We talked for about an hour. Nothing like that just lots in common.

I've been watching Aussie movies. 2 movies. Both filmed in my city. One I was cast in ahaha. I actually briefly spoke about that on morning radio this week. They wanted people to contact them about any film work they've done here so I texted the text line and 3 seconds later the producer called and asked me to go live to air.

Like I said, what a week!!!

[quirkywords]

What a lovely lot of posts I have been reading.
Velvet I am pleased you were not charged for your car repairs. Iam glad others notice you are healthier now.

It is so cold here. I am trying to sort out the clutter of my books but I missed out on the tiny gene.

[Lisa611]

Hi All

Airies I'm glad you've just fallen on grass! Cyclists can get some bad injuries. Take care.

Velvet am relieved for you that your car was only a flat battery. My car is still at the panel beaters. My insurance with NRMA only covered a hire car for 2 weeks then I had to pay at a discount rate. My car should be ready on Friday. That turned out to be an expensive mother's day!

[quirkywords]

Aries I know a few people my age who recently have tripped over on footpaths and broken bones. I have not been on a bicycle for over a decade. I am very aware when waking as the pavement here is full of uneven concrete.

[Airies]

Quirky, yep another stumble into the garage, luckily once again I saved myself so I’ve made an appointment for the gp. Enough is enough and one can only have so much luck. With an upcoming trip overseas and a cruise I can ill aforward to trip.Anyway enough about me, how are others. ? Bitterly cold here.Can’t believe the price of veggies in particular Salad, just under $20 a kilo and a 500 gram limit. Who would have thought

[asdff]

Fiction books. Although some are roughly based on history. At the moment WWII. Raise your hand if you are hypomanic? That would be me. It’s exhausting. Yes, I can get things done but soon the crash will come. If only we could harness this energy and have no crash into darkness.