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This bipolar life

Kazzl
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

10,660 Replies 10,660

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

Airies

Any change in routine I find difficult and tiring.

Lisa after being run over by a slow car, I wasn’t hurt except for bruises. i didn’t want to go to the doctor but was pressured to. i am glad I did I was ok but at least I was reassured.

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello everyone, It is cold here and wet.

I do not handle cold weather too well.

Quirky, we are getting the wind and rains tomorrow. Ask me how I feel about the cold in a few months. For now it’s a novelty.

Airies
Community Member

We’ve had some lovely Autumn days. Cold in the morning and we will get rain later this week. I see my psych tomorrow, all good but discussions re changing my meds and a few other things happening, a bit proppy and the odd stutter.
I really hope to push myself mentally and physically to try and get my mojo back. I’d like to be on the meds I was prescribed about 20 years ago which was basically for ADHD. My wife retires later this year. I have a countdown timer for that and a holiday.
The dogs in my lap and it would be very lonely without my fur baby.

V are you still looking after a pooch? I was lucky enough to see some red rump parrots and I think some white tailed black cockatoos which were stunning. I often pause on a walk to see and listen to the birds.

Cold heart.brrrr.

I have those meds Airies haha.

Yes I still have thr pooch. He's funny. Picture this: This arvo the dog had a box in his mouth obstructing his view... running flat out...

**CRASH** Pot plant

Red rumps... cool. Don't you get yellow tails over east? The baudins and carnaby cockies are the white tails... exclusively WA... (cave folk hehe).

Told a friend what I thought today. Held back on pointing out her lies. Whoppers they are.

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

Aries if you get your mojo back can you find mine!!

why do so people feel they have right to tell others how they should live but will never listen to others.?

I feel people see me as some one who is a sponge ready to soak up their so called wisdom of life experiences!

just a mini morning rant.

Hey Quirky, have never heard you rant before. It’s healthy. Back from my psychiatrist. Not adverse to changing my meds down the track with an admission. Exercise, proper diet ,mindfulness and balancing exercises and meds the key.So I called by the supermarket and called by the confectionery aisle…. Anyway Rome wasn’t built in a day.
A lot depends on how my wife reacts but I’m hoping next year to give it a try

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

There is new large lolly shop opening up in my town soon.

I am more of a chocolate person than a lolly person. i am sure a trip down confectionery

aisle would help improve your mood.

Last night as I sat eating so e chocolate in a box I gave myself for Mother’s Day, I thought I wished my medication tasted like chocolate.

Quirky, I like the classic lollies, hard Jubes, decent jelly babies and so on. Many aren’t made anymore, plus maybe, just maybe they tasted better when we were young.

On that note I’m shuffling around like an old man. The torn ligaments in my foot are taking forever to heal and I’ve regressed. I sound like a sook. The test will be when I get my new flat pedals fitted.
Travelling overseas in a few months and need to be steady on my feet.

The weathers starting to turn.Not a fan of Winter but that’s just the way it is

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

Someone told me gossip and they were convinced it was true as several people had told him sane gossip. When younger ,,someone spread gossip about me so blantantly untrue but people choose to believe goodie.

Anyone else who finds gossip so harmful.?