This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[velvetfaerie]

I have been asking to be able to help at work more. To help where there are no staff. This has been going on for 2 years. They won't. I'm like but you're short staffed and I'm isolated, ostracised and covertly bullied in this method. I've noted this in 3 reviews yet nothing changes.

I've also sited laws and policies that support my position. While work is on the inclusion and diversity bandwagon how about practising what you preach? Stop the virtue signalling and actually do!!

They know I'll go legal. I've threatened before with grounds to do so and I'll do it again.

[velvetfaerie]

Cited laws* hahah

[quirkywords]

Velvet

It is a pity that you have to go to legal means to get the sort of work environment you are entitled to.

[velvetfaerie]

I called one of our equity officers today. I covered the absence of neurodivergence in the inclusion policies and staff education courses.

I explained I am constantly ostracised, have my requests ignored and isolated.

I keep asking to be able to help in areas low on staff more often. Like a half day or 3 a week. This helps the team and me. I get social, variety and the team get help.

2 years and its been ignored.

So I explained this in more detail to the equity officer. I why am I being excluded when others aren't? It's depressing and dismissive and devaluing.

I explained my condition, how it affects me and how I'm wired. I can't tell my managers as they're all judgemental and I don't have the protection of work policy due to the entire group having been left out.

Legally I'm disabled. In reality I'm differently abled. By the law I can request reasonable adjustment which I have been doing only to be ignored and isolated.

She will talk to her manager and we are going to start the conversation.

[asdff]

Velvet, I’m glad you spoke to someone in your workplace. Fingers crossed they implement some changes for you. Did you see the school with Workplace Bullying? I’m not going to name. It’s just not good enough.

Airies stay away from online shopping. I say that because I can’t help myself. It’s a dopamine hit.

It doesn’t take much for me to be down again. One small hiccup relating to a child and I am down the well again. Quirky, Lisa how are you?

[velvetfaerie]

I will have a look online for the school you mention asdff.

Bullying is rife in workplaces, especially schools, tertiary etc. It's wrong. It's ego and self serving behaviour.

I can't see my work place changing until the restructure. Even then it probably won't.

[quirkywords]

It is sad that organisations like BB work hard for inclusive workplaces yet the reality for some places like yours is isolation. I wish your managers could see what a wonderful asset you are the work place because of your different way of working.

asdff, I wish i wouldnt get upset over nothing sometimes.

[velvetfaerie]

I only have until early Feb until my awesome boss returns.

In reality I only work adjacent one of the sociopaths for another 3 weeks. The other one I can avoid generally.

I am hearing the loud corellas outside ehheheheheeh. They're great.

[Lisa611]

Hi All...sorry to hear about your work place V. Am glad you spoke to the equity officer.

The hens night was fun. It made me realise that I'm conservative and that my party days are over. Everybody had a great time. It was nice to see my daughter have fun.

We are getting a new principal. Hopefully they'll make positive changes to the school. I told the current principal that I have bipolar. Her reaction was very chilled. All she said is that I cope very well. She's leaving now so it's not a big deal that she knows. Nobody else at work knows though. Am going to Melbourne today with my daughter. She has a fitting for her wedding dress. Am looking forward to just spending alone time with her. Our new lounge arrives today which I'm also looking forward to. I find that if I have things to look forward to it keeps my lows at bay. Hope everyone is doing ok.

[quirkywords]

Lisa

thanks for your up to date.

I have never been to a hens night or been a bridesmaid , is that a sheltered life.?

I am glad you have things to look forward to.

I hope the new principal has supportive people skills as they are important skills in that role.

Enjoy your trip to Melbourne.

Velvet I am glad your kind boss is returning in Feb.

Aries how are you ?

Asdff I suppose end of year is a hectic for you with school age children, how do you cope?