This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

Velvet, I am agreat believer in volunteering and it has helped me find a routine. Sometimes people are unsure how to treat volunteers.

Your work does not so a place that would improve ones health both physical and mental. I hope you are ok.

Big wave to all today and hope everyone is as well as they can be.

[velvetfaerie]

Volunteers are a blessing. When I was a paid employee of an organisation who relied heavily on volunteers.... I was always greatful and appreciative of their help. That was a looooong time ago now.

Na. No one here is doing well. I feel I'm doing better because of the medication I've been on for a few months now. Doesn't make me blind or stupid though.

I really hate these managers who diddle rules and laws to suit their own personal agendas. Selfish and self serving. I've challenged her a few times over the years on it. I feel sorry for her partner who also works here. He's a great guy. He does as he's told by her.

Hope everyone is cruising along ok. Society is wierd.

[quirkywords]

I think i am a poor judge of character as sometimes people I feel are very honest are not and people I feel are fake are not and are open.

Does anyone else do that or just me.?

[Lisa611]

Hi All...Quirky I think it's easy to misjudge someone's character. People only present the side they want you to see. It's only after spending alot of time with someone do you truly see their real colours. It's impossible to keep up a facade 24/7.

I've been back at work on site full time now. It's been really busy. There's about 6 weeks to go till the end of the year! I've been going well. I still haven't decided to tell my principal about having bipolar. I'll wait to see if she gets the job permanently first. My daughter's hens night is coming up in November. I think I'm going to be the eldest there!!! It should be fun. I've stopped going to the GROW meetings. It just wasn't my scene. The meetings were too structured and reminded me of church. I gave it a good go though.

I hope everyone is well and travelling along ok.

[quirkywords]

Lisa,

thanks for the update.

Groups can depend on the leader and individuals.

I have never been to a group .

I suppose this is the closest I have been to a support group.

[velvetfaerie]

Hey Lisa...... true colours are definitely seen that way, and by sitting back and observing. I've been doing that a lot lately.

I think anyone who's a teacher is brave. Sounds mental!

I'm chugging along. It's been super hectic at work all week and I'm super tired.

[quirkywords]

I used to work with students with special needs and it was tiring. I really admire high school teachers.
Velvet I like that term hugging along, aI sometimes say muddling along, but chugging is a nice image.

[Airies]

Another admirer of teachers, My son still keeps in touch with one of his former teachers which is nice to see.
yay it’s refreshing to walk around outdoors mask free. Trees and debris everywhere due to freakish winds.

Lisa, I’ve been to a few groups . The facilitator either makes it or breaks it. I’ve got to a point where it was information overload as some of it was pretty heavy going.

Will be doing a PTSD program in the New Year and hopefully put my bad dreams to bed .Looking forward to the future which is something I haven’t been for a long time.

[velvetfaerie]

I've a few friends who are school teachers and teaching assistants. Trainers and assessors too.

They're all pretty amazing.

[quirkywords]

Aries and everyone have you heard of mindspot online program for ptsd.

I agree a facilitator is the keyboard self help group.