This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[wail]

Greetings Quirky, it is wonderful to read your crochet blanket brings you comfort. I agree that hand made things contain a special feel, like gorgeous stone walls and hand made jewelry. A craft fanatic I am.

My capes are made with a metallic acrylic, it is a loose stitch sort off like a pretty spider web. I make the cape long enough to cover the to the elbow and after selling out on the neutrals two years running, that's all I'm doing this year.

The baby wear is a cotton blend and the modern mums like a beige base with yellow or green or orange or purple stripes. The old pink and blue is so yesterday! For me it is important to understand what people want or my efforts are in vain.

My niece has shown me a freddo the frog crochet bikini which she would like and to avoid over stepping with her dad, I told her, that I will teach her how to crochet and she can make her own bikini. She's 15 and probably couldn't handle the sort of attention freddo may bring. I am so crap at family politics, these are my husbands people. I just figure better she be mad with me than him! Cheers

[quirkywords]

M I like the visual of a Freddy the frog crochet bikini.

Your capes sound so practical and pretty.

my mum used large rocket needles to knit a long sleeve dressing gown in one piece.

I am going to try to teach myself to crochet Wail, any ideas, YouTube google or books?

[velvetfaerie]

I have been reading but not commenting. I just hope all is ok with everyone. I think of you all a lot because you are all so awesome.

I'm currently changing my life. The burn out and adhd have done a number on me. I have been implementing boundaries. I've explained things to some people who simply won't listen or be supportive. So I'm very angry and hurt. So thing are going. Won't work with me? Won't compromise? Ok. Goodbye.

I do so much I have no time or energy left to do things I used to enjoy and indeed things that are a part of my management plan with the psychiatrist. 

[wail]

Greeting Quirky, to learn crochet - you tube has basic stitch but you might want to locate a knitting group/ circle. Covid has stopped the knitting group I went to but in time we will all return. If your an independent learner than books can be a good choice.

I was taught when I was ten by my fathers mum. She did peace work, she was paid by a fancy retailer to knit and crochet to order and she taught me to improve her income. Back then it was gad awful 'ken done' knit wear and classic white crochet. I just did what I was told and it turned out to be a blessing. Cheers

[wail]

Greetings Velvet, I see your situation and I gather it is hard for you right now. All I have to share is that the way back to the high road, comes when we relax. It can be impossible somethings and hopefully time will heal your hurts. M.

[Airies]

Hey Velvet, look after number 1 you. It can be pretty full on as we all know.
Wail, Ken Done didn’t he do the loud paintings and such? Another day of comfort eating and not much exercise .Rang a friend, former work colleague, spoke for a bit and then he said ring back later or tomorrow or after that. Hello … it’s a 2 way street. I get so frustrated with this or am I over reacting.?

[quirkywords]

Velvet it is nice to know you are reading. I am glad you are setting boundaries.

Those who wont listen or be supportive do not deserve such a caring person as you. It is now for you to be a priority in your life.

It will be hard but those who understand will be there for you. I am pleased you have a plan.

Sending kind thoughts and support.

[velvetfaerie]

Oh the foot has come down.

So shorter hours for the next 6 weeks my choice. Man thing has made the home immaculate today.

I rescued some wildlife today as well.

Couch time. Oh and the new pooch. He's such a dork

[Lisa611]

Have been reading everyone's posts. Just dropping in to say hi. I like crochet but I don't do it. I like good quality handmade things but I don't make anything. Have been busy with work doing reports and marking. Am now fully vaccinated! Hope everyone is ok and for those who are struggling sending hugs.

[quirkywords]

 Velvet   I like the word  dork.

I used to use the word Dav in an affectionate way,my fami,y called me a dag as well.

Lisa thanks for saying hi.how are you finding your workload.