This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[velvetfaerie]

Loads of cool events on today. The swimming and hockey have my attention..... and the ladies long haul road race.....after gym though. They better have the Olympics on the TV'S!!!!

The ladies soccer team is pretty good too! Kerr is amazing !

So who could function normally on little to no sleep? A diagnostic criteria I believe. If I don't sleep I'm a disaster..... just wondering others experiences...

V.

[Guest9337]

Morning velvetfaerie.

My longest awake period is 39 hours, second longest is 36 hours. Have stayed up beyond 24 hours many times... but I can also sleep for 20 hours too, with a few loo interruptions of course unfortunately.

Functioning normally is a weird one for me, like, what's normal? It's very highly variable.

love dng.

[quirkywords]

I liked reading the animal events and thought what a great children’s book it would be then I recalled I had seen a book on that topic already..

I suppose as I have mentioned I have only had little sleep for decades so don’t know how I would function on more.

[Airies]

Have been flicking through the sports, fencing , handball enjoy some of the different sports. Spoilt for choices really. Been for a short walk and waiting for the roads to dry out before I venture out on my bicycle. It’s windy and cold. I wouldn’t mind investing in a decent rain jacket. Just turned off the fencing , very noisy and off putting .

[Airies]

I sleep 10 plus hours. I’m on a bit of meditation and then some. I don’t sleep peacefully though, work dreams etc. Have to get into my favourite position .It’s like a ritual. If I go for a walk , do a bike ride it correlates into a more relaxed me, relaxed sleep and so on. A no brainer really but it takes a bit of effort and discipline another thing I struggle with

[velvetfaerie]

Interesting. Thanks guys. I do the usual 7 - 9hrs a night. Wake up at least 2 times a night.. sometimes up to every hour.

I can't stay awake for more than 20 hours without being a dunderbutt.....

I've been watching swimming and hockey....but not watching it... I keel getting up and doing things.

[Guest9337]

velvetfaerie said:

I can't stay awake for more than 20 hours without being a dunderbutt.....

I discovered that real life intern medical doctors are expected to do very long shifts in their training (for free no less!), and so I had a think, that if people who need to be very thoughtful/technical can operate effectively saving lives in hospitals and emergency rooms, then I supposed I should be able to do the same when at home.

Some practice and techniques help. Eating is one to avoid if one is going for a long awake period as eating increases body temp and that facilitates feeling tired. So eat just a few mouthfuls to satiate hunger, but not the whole meal for example. 5 minutes horizontal in a quiet room finding a restful awake state helps too.

[wail]

i sleep next to window i hear fella over fence he snores like hippo

[velvetfaerie]

My man thing snores like a hippo at times too Wail.

🤣

[asdff]

Airies, I have always been an eruptor. Probably so as a toddler too. I know my Mum used to say to my Grandfather just leave her alone, she will come out of it soon. However, toddlers and young children are known to tantrum. I never outgrew my anger problems. My brother has anger problems but I guess he can control them or it's cooler for a man to be angry. I don't know. I do know I have felt like a freak at times for being so angry. Like the Incredible Hulk. My kids show me the face, I apparently pull when angry. It's showing my bottom teeth.