This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

i used to sleep near a railway lin and highway and people would say it must be noisy. I said my now ex snores so noisily I never hear the train or trucks!!!

Wail I have never heard a hippo snore.

Velvet I get at least every hour every night but I find it hard to go back to sleep.

I often imagine what it would be like to sleep for even 4 hrs without waking up!!

[velvetfaerie]

Can't help but be thrilled for anyone who medals in the games. Just watched the ladies road bike race. The mental and physical strength they have.

I guess with the ordinary times the world has seen over the last couple of years.... it's nice to see some hope.

I dunno I'm just a smoosh.

Always hoped I'd play in the Aussie hockey team. Wasn't to be. I still have one of my sticks though.

[quirkywords]

velvet,

I saw one of the aussie swimmers get a third, but his time in his heat would have won him a gold. Tha'ts because seasoned swimmers only swim as fast as they can to qualify for final so in final just go full steam.

I had enough trouble t get picked last instead of left right out for anything vaguely sporty.

In the first Olympics of the modern era there was poetry as part of the Olympics. However even my poetry would not have got me to the Olympics. I am someone who is average in a few things, terrible at some but does not excel in any one skill!! I am being realistic. Thats why I admire the way people excel with determination.

[Airies]

V, you motivated me to get out on my tredley. No other cyclists at all, i road into a headwind, the beauty was it was easier on the way back.

Watched the end of the women’s road race, the struggle, raw emotion and the Dutch team thinking they had it won only to realise the Austrian rider was in front.

Will channel flick today and go out, same same. Was listening to a radio station interviewing someone high up in police command in regards to the protests who referred to the people being bat shit crazy numerous times. What a poor choice of words for a number of reasons. Just my thoughts

[velvetfaerie]

I went hard at the gym this weekend. Muscles are cranky. I'd love to go out for a short bike ride but alas it's chucking It down outside.

Not impressed with one doggo rescue mob. They're rude. I asked if I was wasting my time and theirs if they don't like people who work. She said they work fulltime and volunteer and that won't be an issue. Excellent so I have that in writing.

The dog I wanted who went is now back. I have asked for a meet and greet. We shall see. I feel like they are being hypocritical and discriminatory. 

So my mates from another group who are on the committee and all sorts are coming now to to the official check. I might have a pooch soon. A foster pooch.

[velvetfaerie]

They will use double standards even if they can't uphold the same standard for themselves.

[Airies]

My mood plummeted today. Was on edge, one minute euphoric singing in the shower loudly, part of one song then another. Wanted to excercise again only to find it was wet. So off to bed for a few hours , a few PRNS and it awhile to have a nap. My eBay are arriving. Inform my wife well that’s this week, next week will be more.
im like a cyclone at times.

V I hope you get a pooch, mine has been beside me all night. Pets are the best . How is your feathered friend doing ?
Not a fan of Winter.

[quirkywords]

Velvet

I hope you get the dog you want. Do you know why the dos was returned. .?

Aries is not it annoying when your mood plummets so quickly. I call it my microwave moments. They don’t last long but are so intense. Anyone else have microwave moments.

[velvetfaerie]

I find too much rain depressing. I need the outdoors. I hope you feel better after a big snooze Airies.

Animals are indeed the best!!! Miss feather duster is well. She has learnt to step up when asked and go to bed when asked. And bites man thing. Still.

Mot sure why the dog was returned Quirky. Maybe they underestimated a border collie. Weren't realistic with expectations. I hope to find out.

I know the volunteer animal welfare, and indeed paid animal welfare systems, can be grouchy... It saddens me when posturing and ego over shadow the best interests of the animal/s.

Rescue places need to find the best fit and be realistic with people. People also need to be realistic with dogs. They dig. They chew. They poop. They wee. They will puke. They shed. So do kids!

Miss feather duster is dozing off to sleep..parrots beak grind when content. It's like a cat purring.

[asdff]

Airies, I was nodding in agreement to your wanting to exercise again post. I remember before diagnosis I would go to the gym, drive home. Then go for a bike ride. I had so much excess energy. Not to use in any other way just exercise. Gosh we must be fascinating creatures to study. Us Bipolar people. At times we can be on the go all day and night. Then we crash.