This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[velvetfaerie]

I've had the odd menagerie... not now.. my aim is to retire to acreage... I am very excited at the prospect of meeting this doggo.

My old work colleague has acreage now out in the wheatbelt and she has a menagerie. Must go visit there soon.

Chooks are awesome. I want geese heheehee. Viscious guard geese!

My mind is finding it hard to focus. Very scattered. Maybe I'm getting old.

V

[quirkywords]

Velvet your post made me smile and feel all fuzzy.

I can envisage your idyllic vision with many animals .

what about ducks ?

[velvetfaerie]

Ducks are cool. Can be savage like geese but I like animals with attitude

[quirkywords]

Animals with attitude, like that Velvet.

A question to all.

. If you have some good news but later someone upsets you, do you focus on the happy event or on being upset or like me do you find you don’t get a chance to enjoy happy news as the words have upset you.

[velvetfaerie]

After a hissy fit, I usually step back an assess both situations and weight them up in importance... and who else (if anyone else ) is affected or involved.

[quirkywords]

Thanks Velvet I will try that instead of being so upset I can think straight.

[velvetfaerie]

Doggo got fostered already:(

Sad 😞

Still a very slim chance but still..... as good as adopted really

hope it's a good home

[quirkywords]

Velvet

so sorry for you .

It must be disappointing.

I am still thinking of animals with attitudes.

[Lisa611]

Hi All

I see my psych today. Am feeling better but I'm going to ask him if we can up the antidepressant one more time. I had my first support group meeting this week via zoom due to covid. I just sat back and listened to how it all ran. It was ok and the people seemed nice. I will go again next week. We are in another week of lockdown. The kids will be doing online learning for 4 days! Last year when we had to do online learning hardly any kids came on. For only 4 days its really not worth the effort. Yesterday I ran a zoom faculty meeting. It went well. Not really how I wanted to go back to work.

Sorry to hear that you missed out on the dog V.

[quirkywords]

Lisa

thanks for your update.

Did you have a lot in common with support group people..?

I am not sure when I can see new grandchild , maybe when is a month old I guess.

Baby is well mum is learning.