This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

Yes it would be good to have a group of people you can talk and listen to.

[velvetfaerie]

I have been reading. Excuse my lack of words.

Today I didn't stop for food, water... nothing in 8 hours... for some context. It's been like that all week except Tuesday.

Dog tired. Like my pic but laying down.

[quirkywords]

Velvet

i hope you get a rest on the weekend andI you get a weekend to relax if that’s possible.

Always great to read your posts.

[asdff]

I went out in community, with my mask on. I have a headache from all the thinking and do. You probably do too Velvet from all the non stop during the week. Can we not switch our brains off? I wish we could or just a reset every now and then. My stomach hurts too. It shall pass. Sending strength to everyone.

[quirkywords]

Asdff

I have managed to pause my brain for several seconds but that’s all.

I have a gastric upset what is this so.

[Airies]

I socialise here on this thread for the simple reason we get one another, supportive and despite the edge gaps, distances it’s a unique bond which is lacking elsewhere through no ones fault.

I thought my group at the Clinic was starting last Friday turns out I was a month out. Not to worry I’m often a year out thinking it’s 2022. Don’t think it’s a bipolar thing..lol.

it’s been bitterly cold, yesterday caught out in the rain on my bike, got a puncture and my bike computer was telling me it was 4 degrees, it felt it. Managed to repair and get home and vowed not to do this route again. 2 punctures in subsequent weeks in same area not a happy Chappy.

im determined to ride weather permitting through Winter or indoors. My stepfather rallied and is out of hospital again. He still hasn’t been able to get on his feet in over 6 weeks. He is one hell of a fighter . I don’t think I could at 85 .

[velvetfaerie]

Oh it's been full on. Between break ins, work, my friend needing a sound board due to a marriage issue plus on top of it her child making gross accusations, using and dealing drugs.

Now my neighbour (one I've never spoken to) has decided to start leaning heavy building materials onto the fence bowing it. Photos will be taken. I'm printing the legislation with photos and a request to move it.

I've applied for a rescue doggo. Ironically 2 hours prior to break in attempt. This is the last thing I need.

4c Airies? No. Yuk. I'm having a sook at 14C here at the moment. It sucks. I'm glad your step dad is such a fighter. That's great. His terms, not the terms of some virus!!!!

I'm always isolated and alone hence man thing thought it was time I adopted another dog.

Forced rest. Gym is closed. Pelting rain. It sucks. *humph*

Hi newbies.

Sorry I just blurted.

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone , wave to new members,

Aries I can’t recall what happened in what year within last 20 years.
I also get days mixed up especially.LH. Ow I am not doing paid work.
your standpoint dad is a fighter.

Velvet you have lots of things going on.

[velvetfaerie]

I hope among the chaos I get to rescue the dog. It's time for me to have more pets again. The good thing among the chaos. The silver lining. The hope.

It's funny. If the rescue mob only knew my qualifications and employment history.

Time to get up and start Monday. Wishing you all a great day..... 😊

[Airies]

V, a rescue dog would be the best therapy. You capture it so well. The good thing among the chaos. The silver lining. The hope.

wouldn’t you have quite a menagerie then? I’d love some chooks. Not practical at all. You have a wonderful day too and it’s so so good to have you back