This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[velvetfaerie]

Hi guys..................

[velvetfaerie]

When you hit send too early.

*head desk*

Have a good day everyone. Week. You guys have helped me through a lot of tough things. I just need to find myself I think. Soul search.

Be good.

[quirkywords]

velvet Hope you find what you are looking for. We are here and ready to listen.

Take care

[Airies]

Lisa, glad you are getting the answers, rest and reassurance you need. I had a room mate once, now I always try and get a single. Are you spending the 5 weeks in hospital. I have and longer ,, you just do what you have to do .
Velvet, hope things pick up, virtual hugs from this neck of the woods. I don’t think I will ever find myself, constant turmoil, moments of bliss excercysing and so on.

adsff, how are you doing over in the west? It’s been cold here in Vic but dry so I’ve been smashing the bike and walking. Also very aware that my body is aging rapidly.one positive out of COVID is the lack of cars , very Erie but trucks, semis are scary. Logging my food again and watching what I eat , the yo yo aspect of everything really goes on.

Quirky, how are you coping with Winter? Do you get frosts ? I’m ok if I’m moving but the extremities get cold once I stop. Wife’s on leave. Don’t know if holiday to Echuca will go ahead, meantime projects around the house go on.

[quirkywords]

Aries

last year was my first winter and I was always cold so I bought a few a new coat this year, I usually buy my clothes at op shops.

I feel my age in winter.

hello to everyone, this is a supportive place where we can be ourselves.

quirky

[asdff]

Hey Airies and all, Yes, it's cold in the West but only in the mornings and late evenings. We have had minimums of 7 but max of 21. So I just layer.

How are you all? Quirky I like buying second hand too. Ebay or from Social Media Marketplace. My Mum loves Op Shops. I like donating to them.

[quirkywords]

Hi everyone,

I feel that as I age I don’t handle the cold weather at all well.

I am going away for a few days down south but far enough from the border.

I volunteer at op shops.
it has helped me one the last 18 months.

I am thinking of all those in lock down.
look after yourselves

[asdff]

Oh my goodness. Running around like a headless chook today. It’s one of those days..... I feel like I have to do ten thousand things. Yes, it’s hypomania. You suck hypomania. Why can I not do things at a leisurely pace? Why does everything have to be done faster and longer? I’m exhausted because I’ve been like this all week. I do things hardcore. I don’t do it by halves. A work out has to be done to the extreme. Even a darn shopping trip to buy my son something this morning. I couldn’t find the exact product. I spent an hour in the darn store because I had a voucher to spend. An hour spending money on a fracking candle!!!! I could go into it but I’m not. Son has day off school, pupil free day. So soon two friends are coming over. Hypomanic Mum planned last earlier in the week. After failed shopping trip this morning. I come home and I’m angry because son and husband haven’t started cleaning up. They are playing bearings on a skateboard. I forgot to mention husband has had the week of work. This has upset my routines and trying to keep things low key. Far out, I feel like everything is in fast motion. I am sitting down now. A forced rest!

[Lisa611]

Well it's been nearly two weeks that I've been in here. I'm certainly getting a rest. I'm reading alot and I've done a cross stitch. They serve dinner early at 5. Tonight I had wanton soup and chia and mango pudding. This is the first time I've had a room mate and it's quite the experience. I attend some group sessions. The most beneficial was one on assertiveness. I've also booked an appointment with a councillor who I'm seeing tomorrow morning. The girls are taking me out on Sunday.

Wishing everyone a good weekend.

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone,

Lisa 2 weeks already sounds like yesterday. Glad you can rest. Is the roommate a good experience or an experience.?

Glad you go out on Sunday. How are those group sessions?

Asdff hope things calm down a bit and you can rest.