This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[Lisa611]

We have no electricity. Am sitting here and it's getting dark. We have no candles or a torch. We are waiting for the electricity guy to come. There's not much to do except go on your phone. We will be sitting in the dark twiddling our thumbs.

[quirkywords]

Lisa

Is there a blackout or is it just in your house?

[Airies]

I can remember names from long ago but when put on the spot I’m shot. Long term and short term memory not fantastic. Forever forgetting passwords for apps, then changing and forgetting passwords with a flow on effect on family members.

Quirky , hope I didn’t upset you, upmost respect for you and the rest of the crew here. Sounds like Gilligans Island doesn’t it?
I wonder if the younger ones here know of Gilligans Island .

I can remember having school boy crushes on a few female teachers or student teachers .

[Airies]

Lisa,

nothing worse then being kept in the dark, sounds like my life. All jokes aside I hope you get your power back very soon. Has bad weather caused it? I Come to think of it I’d be stuffed finding a torch, light or candles. I even have to tell my iPhone to turn torch on and off as I don’t know what to press. I’m clumsy enough as it is. Im paying the price for one trip to many, , my good hip is starting to degenerate at a rapid rate. Did i walk yes, cycled no despite it being a magic day and ate chocolate and lollies instead. I am a lost cause. For those who have Netflix binging on the Serpent, true story, interesting and sad

[quirkywords]

Aries as the oldest ones here I have only respect for you. I worried I may have upset you. Sometimes here I can’t get the right meaning over. I want to sound light and funny and either sound blunt or bossy !,

Were you a Maryanne or ginger fan?

I like Gilligan especially as the beatnik in Dobie Gillis show.
I never knew how they brought so much luggage for a 3 hr cruise.

[Lisa611]

Yay! The power is back on. It was just us.

[Airies]

Hugs all around. Definitely a ginger fan. Yep can remember Dobie Gillis show. They were good shows along with I dream of Genie, The Partridge Family, My favourite Martian spring to mind.

I now have my meds in a Webster pack, so much easier and takes the stress out of sorting it all out.

Lisa that’s great news. It used to be a common occurrence in our old house ‘ dodgy wiring’. It hasn’t happened here touch wood. My brother in laws a sparkie . I was surprised to learn and see that in our house being newish and according to code there lights and switches in the roof void.
Hopefully you are all sorted

[quirkywords]

I had friend with 6 children who brought them up in a house with a generator but no electricity.
I go an hour without electricity and I am lost.

Does any remember Patty Duke Show. Patty duke or Anna which was her real name , was one of the first actors to come out and say they had manic depression as bipolar was called.

she wrote a couple of books and I found her inspirational and a great actress.

[Lisa611]

Am soooo glad it's Friday. Every 2 weeks I have a meeting with my supervising deputy principal which was today. I have 4 new teachers under me who are all young. I have to support them while they find their feet plus it's one of my stupid yearly goals. I had to come up with something. I had no classes today so I spent the day writing reports. It's hard finding something positive to say about every kid especially if the kid does nothing in class. I wonder what the parents would say if I wrote little Johnny is a lazy student who isn't interested in learning anything. He acts like an idiot and tries to be the class clown. I'm sure that would go down well lol. Am feeling tired. Just lying on the couch watching TV.

[quirkywords]

Lisa

I think primary teachers use the word interesting when they can think of anything else to say or Mary is enthusiastic in discussions means she won’t stop talking!

When I was at school teachers told the truth.