This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[Lisa611]

Asdff both my girls had braces. One had them on for 5 or 6 years. Keeping up with the appointments are a pain in the arse. Ours were always after school but both girls ended up with nice teeth.

Airies I nearly fell over when you said a few K for a bike! I'm not into bikes so I don't know what they're worth. Your wife must be very understanding.

My day was ok today. No dramas. I went to the doctor's this morning for some tests but didn't end up getting them done because the nurse was running late. I see my psych tomorrow I don't think he will change anything. I know the AD change has made me feel better but I can't say I'm jumping around in glee. I guess I have to accept this might be as good as I get.

[velvetfaerie]

Counting my lucky stars I never needed braces now!!!! Arduous and expensive...... especially for the parents!!!

few grand for a bike eh? Hehe. Man thing would say "for that money it better have a motor"

the smoke blanketing our city has given me a stonking cranky crabby headache.

[quirkywords]

I know bikes cost a lot of money but I am shocked that the outfit includes shoes helmet clothes and bags cost as much as a bike!

[Airies]

Yep, it’s a bit like cars , there’s always one model ahead, . My wife is very understanding and will cross that bridge if and when. Apart from bike I buy most things for my bike online and in bulk, tyres tubes, co2 cartridges. My son says I’m the most prepared cyclist who rarely cycles . He’s right. My stepfather is now in hospital with COVID and pneumonia. Also suffers fro asthma so not looking the best. It’s a Lovely day here in Southern Vic. Same for tomorrow. Woke up sluggish, extra meds last night leave me foggy today. A bit of a bummer

[Lisa611]

Am waiting to see psych. My day has gone alright. Started with a 7.30 meeting then I had yr 9 and yr 12. The yr 9 class which can be challenging went well. I gave them notes to copy off the board which kept them busy. Then they had to do a worksheet as they watched an informative YouTube clip. I was supposed to have a late afternoon class but the student went home. I was happy about that cause it meant I could leave at normal time. Am feeling ok. Just listening to the news on the radio in the car they're talking about changes to the school curriculum. Am hoping that they leave English alone but they wont. Am now in the waiting room. He usually runs on time which is good. I only go in for half an hour.

[quirkywords]

Aries, that is sad about your stepfather, apart from covid and asthma was he relatively helathy for his age before this time or has been sick on and off for years.

Lisa hope your appointment went as you had hoped.

I think the people who change the curriculum public servants and politicians have not been teachers for a long time or never were. So it becomes a case of getting votes and trying to please everyone.

[velvetfaerie]

*hug* airies and all.

Went out for early birthday with man thing. Found out his friend blocked me because of my views about kids. My choices. There was no interaction, argy bargy, nothing. Good to know judging on no context and bigotry is alive and well. His inability to conceive children naturally isn't my fault. My choices about my body are mine alone.

Cried in the pub over lunch. Absolutely gutted.

[quirkywords]

Velvet

This world is mixed up. I have had someone look down on me as I had a partner and 3 children which to her I was needy and dependent. Strange world. People who judge are not worth the effort.
Take care, their loss not knowing what a compassionate person you are.

[velvetfaerie]

I dislike entitled parents... not kids... he got it all wrong anyway.

we got drenched with rain walking back from the train. Drenched right through. Sloshing shoes. Was funny. Hehhehe.

[Lisa611]

Psych appointment went well no changes to meds. He said I am recovering from the depression but it will take another 6 to 12 weeks to come out of it.

People who judge usually never know the full story. They often have a narrow view of the world and find it difficult to accept alternative points of view. I like the saying different strokes for different folks.

I think my daughter got a share accommodation place in the area she wants. I can't believe how competitive it is to get a place there plus she had the added problem of a dog. I guess it's the hip and happening place to live. I'm hoping it doesn't fall through. I think it will be good for her. Fingers crossed it pans out.

I took the day off today to help partner move. The new place is nice but it means I have to drive at least 20mins further and the traffic is horrendous.

V- getting caught in the rain would annoy me but it sounds like you had fun.