This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

Aries

we are all thinking of you.

[velvetfaerie]

You're in my thoughts Airies.

I'm off to sleep. Lockdown well.... yeh the last 2 weeks have sucked. Topped off with the lockdown, no gym, birthday cancelled and surgery pending. I don't think the surgery will change but we shall see.

I hope everyone has a restful night. Sadly work wasn't cancelled hahahaa. Yay essential worker. 🤣🤣

V.

[blondguy]

Hi asdff

thankyou for the great post about having a giggle...Nice1 asdff

Spot on!

Paul

[velvetfaerie]

Our little occ health legend rep here has organised group therapy for us all. I am laughing, thankful, and hoping this isn't a matter of educating victims, but the step in making the perps responsible for their crap. She is a good person. Even though we have had our little issues, I love her to bits.

I was scathing in my input.

[Airies]

Yep plan to FaceTime.he’s off to get some chest X-rays and doing ok fingers crossed. I spent 2 hours changing bike tyre. I cracked it. Told my wife I will keep the bike for when son comes from overseas. I’m over it putting up with cars, punctures and bike rims that are just a shit to mount a tyre on. I can wall. My thumbs are almost bruised. I will just have to look at alternative excercices .

[asdff]

Lisa611 I was coming in here to say how sick I feel, then I was scrolling past and saw your nauseous post. I used to think it was anxiety and I still do. So on really bad days, I actually vomit. I haven’t had those days since being on a mood stabiliser. However, today I feel nauseous. I know my psychologist has said us BP peeps will be upset by anything biochemical. I guess the stress of the last few days as taken its toll on me. I really love my routines. No gym, as it’s not open. I did do some hill walks, with music.

Lisa, I also get headachy. Sometimes I can push through without taking a paracetamol, other days not so much. On these “anxious days” I take longer to get to sleep as my mind is very active. My mind is always active!!!!! It’s very active at bedtime.

[quirkywords]

I wonder does anyone feel dizzy for no reason as well as nauseous.

[Airies]

Good on you V, hoping she wasn’t just going through the motions. They have an obligation and duty of care to look after YOU. Hope it sends the message to the right people.

[quirkywords]

Velvet,

what does group therapy involve, lots of listening and talking .

Hope it works out for you and your work place ends up a more cooperative place.

[Lisa611]

Quirky I was wondering the same thing about V's group therapy.

Asdff - I take sleeping tablets. When I can't sleep I get anxious and stressed. I see my psych on Thursday I'm going to mention feeling off colour. I feel better now but I think it might of been related to the AD I'm on.

Today was an ok day. Classes were ok. We were supposed to have cross country today but it was cancelled because of poor air quality. I think they were back burning somewhere.