This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[velvetfaerie]

Was a meet and greet thing at a nerd convention. Was funny how it came about. Was keen to meet 3 stars, stumbled upon all 3. Paid to meet 2. Dreyfus is a very cool guy. Personable. Happy to chat about anything. No air of elitism. I guess we all have our regrets, even me. I learn, hopefully, from them. Dreyfus brought up the subject of Robin Williams to me. Another actor I am a huge fan of. Another suspected bipolar folk. I think I am drawn to these people, strangely, because I can empathise. Is that the right word?

I am so tired and drained after the big day yesterday. Was an absolute sensory overload for almost 10 hours. I was with man thing and his daughter. Absolutely fantastic and great day, but dang I am fried ! The little child creature and I seem to have become very good mates.

Do any of you guys get drained, tired and brainless after so much sensory overload?

V.

[quirkywords]

Hello all,

V,

I certainly would feel the same as you, a day out at a convention with a small creature.

I am guessing she is growing on you too!! Little creatures have this habit of tugging at your heart.

It sounds like you had a great day.

Every year the local health committee I am on has a health expo and I find the build up and the day itself to be very tiring and exhausting and Richard Dreyfus won't be there. Then again now you and him are mates , who knows what you can arrange!!

Quirky

[velvetfaerie]

I may even need tonight off the gym. I feel so fat though. Maybe its PMS talking. URGH.

Yeh the little creature and I seem to be becoming good friends. Her father noted to me last night "she followed you everywhere!"I know. URGH.

AHAHHAHAA. Ah Dreyfus would be a very interesting mate to have. He is medicated up the whazzoo" he told me yesterday. He is pretty chill. When is your health expo?

I better work.........

😄

[quirkywords]

Hello all,

V, I can picture little one following you everywhere, I would too, you sounds like fun!

Yes, work, as soon as I price books and sort out the shelves people come and rearrange them out of order!!

Quirky

[velvetfaerie]

My quote of the day:

Colleague: "Hey we have that audit today."

Me: "And I have no F....s to give."

V.

[Tams20]

Velvet ~ I had zero interest in kids until I was about 34 and thought I should give it a go.... I’ve now got two of my own- the little buggers tend to grow on you!

So what instrument did you play? I played lead guitar, was in a covers band for a bit, had loads of fun.

Quirky & others ~ I always struggle after an over-stimulating day, I usually collapse in a heap and my energy and mood is down for a while. I have mini episodes of this each week with my travel for work - hold it together during the day, keep up appearances, the feel a bit down at night... am exhausted by the time I get back home, takes me a few days to recover.

Anyone else out there and wanting to chat? Would be good to have some more input to the thread , please feel free to introduce yourselves 😊

Tams

[Airies]

I used to have brilliant ideas, 99% of them in my head and not practical. I've cut back on one f my meds. I'm so alert and with it as a result. I've been up all Winter. Excercising every day. That's the all or nothing part of me. I was diagnosed Bipolar by a psych back a few years back when I was at my lowest ebb. My current psych diagnosed severe or accute depression with a few other things. I know it's just a label but should I ask my latest Psych whether or not she agrees. I know at the time my diagnosis and treatment with medication was like a light bulb moment. I'm feeling very OK and don't really know why. I hope it lasts as the other end of the spectrum was a scary and hellish place to be. If you had asked me a number of years ago I'd be ok I would have told you no way known. I've become socially isolated according to my psych. I keep in touch with 1 close friend and lucky to see him twice a year,

cheers

[velvetfaerie]

Hey Tams.... I play(ed) piano/keys, bass, basic guitar and basic cello... as for the cello I doubt I can even tune one anymore HAHAHAHA.

kids - I like em. But I am too old now to carry a pregnancy, and man thing wants no more. Plus I’m pretty happy with my decision to not have them. Not even sure I can to be honest.

Exercise Airies! This is a thing I love as well. As you know. I’m annoyed I missed yesterday but I was so tired and drained from the need convention Sunday.

i better get my butt sorted for work....

v.

[Loula]

Am I just being a cow but seriously Kayne West has Officially says he has bipolar!!! Like he is one extreme person with well obvious bipolar but man in my eyes it makes the illness look worse in the public eyes. Like this guys thinks he’s on earth to be the next Martin Luther King!!!! Like I wish him good health because it’s yhe worse as we know it but I just can’t see him coming out with it been taken as a positive thing. Or mabye it’s my insecurities

[velvetfaerie]

Oh god has he? I am not a fan of that guy. Hopefully he manages it in a healthy way.

**shudder**