This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[Issi]

Hi everyone

Grandy and Tams

I agree with quirky the early times are the hardest, keep talking to friends/partners and doctors. I realise it’s not much except when you and your dr get the right mix of medication and therapy hopefully will balance out.

Issi

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone,

Issi what helpful advice.

At least now there is more information around than when I was diagnosed.

I think keep talking and asking questions, here, to your doctor s, psychologists, counsellors etc. I think as you have have guessed, you can't ask too many questions.

Quirky

[Ggrand]

Hello Quirky, issi, Tams,

Thank you all for your great advice.. I really do appreciate it.

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone,

Thanks Grandy for your kind words.

The thing is it is great we have this place where we can be open and honest and feel safe to ask questions and be ourselves ( what ever that is!!).

So I thank everyone who expresses their emotions here and shares their journey so we can all help each other and help those who read but never post.

It is so reassuring to know one is not alone.

Quirky

[Tams20]

Hi Quirky, Issi, Grandy,

Thanks for the advice and support - I like the way this thread operates, I find it beneficial to have the opportunity to discuss this condition with people who understand (my family and friends try, but they just can’t relate)

I had a review with my Psychiatrist today and I found it beneficial, not just for the tweak in medication but because I like her... she’s probably in her 60s and is very matter-of-fact (like me) and she helps me put things into perspective, to keep me grounded. I feel much better now.

Grandy how are you feeling? A bit better today?

How is everyone else travelling?

Tams

[Issi]

Hi Everyone

Tams

I’m glad you get on well with your Psychiatrist that’s great to find someone you click with.

Today I have a massive headache as I’ve just finished a top up round of tms, it works but it makes me tired and headachey for the 4 days. Tomorrow will be better.

Issi

[quirkywords]

Hello people,

I am glad Tams, that you had a beneficial review.

Issi, sorry about your headache . I hope you feel better soon.

When you feel better maybe you could explain to newer poster about tms.

Quirky

[Ggrand]

Hello everyone,

Sorry about your headache Issi, I'm unsure of what tms is and would be interested about hearing about it, but only when your well Issi.

Tams, I'm not feeling as down today, just meh, and even though I could be better, Ive learned to appreciate that meh feeling as well, as it's better then crying all day..

👋 waves Quirky, ..I hope everyone's day tomorrow is better then today's..

Grandy..

[Issi]

Hi Everyone

Grandy

TMS is a treatment which involves placing a high frequency magnet on your head it can be left, right sided or both. The initial lot of treatments is 20 over 10 days as an inpatient, then depending on your individual needs maintenance treatments are at regular periods.

During each treatment which lasts about 35 minutes you sit in a recliner and watch tv, the side effects for me are headaches and tiredness for the 4 days of treatment every 6 weeks. I hope I have explained it properly. Information is available online.

Issi

[quirkywords]

Hello all,

Thanks Issi. I know you have mentioned it before. I did want to pressure you by asking but I think getting a personal perspective is really elpful.

I will look it up. My short term memory is so bad these days I find it hard to retain anything.

Quriky