This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[Loula]

I think we should do a clap for toilets.

i find customers so hard. I have very rude ones that expect I kiss there butt. I don’t deal with that. And I’m high up so I have to deal with them and staff isuess.

When I am rapid it’s fine but as soon as I stop omg I can sleep for years. It’s the worst.

Thats good you got diganoused Tams20. I found it for me it helped me understand why I am me. It answered so many questions. I have bipolar 1 and also a rapid cycler. Hopefully you find the medication helps and don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t work don’t get upset as there’s so many and you will find what works.

You can ask the other girls on hear I hated being on meds and knowing I have to take them for life. People try and tell me well people with diabetes take medication and it’s not different but I’m like pfft this is my head! But once I found medication that actually worked I could make a statue out of them. I love them. I got to be me again. It was amazing.

Its good your being positive. Me I just keep active because I’m like you ain’t going to control me.

[Ggrand]

Hi everyone.

Just tagging, will read through slowly.

Grandy..

[Chloe_M]

Hi again,

Its good to know that you are open to other people talking to you. Being able to help each other is one of the best things about the BB forums!

See you later everyone!

Chlo

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone,

Grandy welcome here.

Chloe, Tams, Issi, Lola and everyone who is reading but who has not posted for a while, a big wave to all.

I agree with praising clean bathrooms and I have even take photos of really different andpeaceful ones.! Is that weird!!

Loula I have been taken medication as you know for nearly as long as you have been alive!!! I used to be worried but I am grateful now.

This is a great and suportive thread and every question is welcome. it is great just for someone to reassure me when I need it.

Quirky

[Issi]

Hi everyone

Yes at social occasions the bathroom is my best friend especially if my husband goes and starts talking to people I don’t know. Quirky I wouldn’t say it’s weird to take photos of bathrooms, just a little different but everyone of us is unique in our own way.

Loula, I have worked in retail before clothing and banking. It’s difficult dealing with some people, sometimes I used to say “have I done something to upset you? Or are you just grumpy” most of the time it worked to break the ice as they realised their actions.

Tams while the thought of taking medication long term is unappealing, think about what it would be like not taking it. I am so glad you have a good relationship with your dr, that way you can be honest with him/her and get the meds right. A positive attitude will also get you a great start.

Issi

[quirkywords]

Hello all,

Issi , how are you going?

Thanks for your helpful reply.

would like to say to a customer are you just grumpy? but would never have the confidence. I often think things I want to say but I just smile and be patient. I suppose with my shop, a customer may say something they think is funny or ordinary but if you have had 100s of people say the same thing it can be annoying. When I am well and in a good mood , I can handle any customer it is just if I am tired or unwell when I am not that patient!! If people are just asking questions, that is fine, it is when they say in a loud voice something negative about my shop that upsets me. I don't expect everyone to like it, but if you don't, why do you have to say it in a loud voice where I can here it!!!

Sorry getting a bit carried away!!

Kind thoughts to all.

Quirky

[Issi]

Hi

Quirky believe it or not saying that broke the tension as more often than not it had nothing to do with me or the merchandise. Maybe when they say something negative you can approach them and ask if you can help. More often they will go to look at something else or if they are not nice people they will leave.

I’m ok just a little frustrated, I thought when I went to my gp Thursday she was going to adjust my thyroxine but she ordered more blood tests before she changes it. That will be the 4th lot in 4 weeks really! But otherwise ok.

The weather has turned cold and wet here so it’s an doona and movie type of weekend.

Issi

[quirkywords]

hello everyone

Issi,

Thanks for explaining how words carefully chosen can break the tension. I usually just smile when people are rude.

It sounds like your doctor is extra careful.

It is very windy but warm here today.

Quirky

[Loula]

Generally when I get a rude customer I put on my sweet voice and wish them the most beautiful day and you can see steam coming off them. And sometimes I put them in their place especially if they are abusive because my job title dose not say I have to be threatened and swon at but customers.

Well I got through working the week! And guess what!!!! Today I don’t have to visit the bathroom!!!!

Slowly my thoughts on medication is changing since I have found something that has helped me. Trying to find it though and being new to it. Arrrggghhhhhh!!!!! I’m glad I have great doctors and loved ones.

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone

Loula,

I am glad you have strategies for dealing with rude customers and that you have made it through the week.

it is good that you have great doctors and loved ones and lots of support.

Quirky